I Lost My Girlfriend In A Hallmark Movie. This Is My Story

The Federalist ^ | 12/03/2019 | David Marcus

[dfwgator]

She don’t like other women
She likes whips and chains
She likes cocaine
And flipping out with Great Danes

[Scott from the Left Coast]

None, I merely removed potatoes from my diet so that the famine would be lessened.

Do not ask that question of a climate change religionist, however.

[Cecily]

One of the best Christmas-y movie with some of these themes which isn’t a Hallmark movie is “Baby Boom.”

[dfwgator]

I’m worried about Scott. Does he know he’s engaged to a cokehead?

Salad-Eating Women - Eddie Murphy (Language)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k6wRb8SkIg

[Seruzawa]

Whocares, Iowa, eh?

Arrogant prik.

Good riddance.

[cuban leaf]

Yep. I saw it as great humor. I enjoyed it.

Of course, I can say that because I’m the one the movie is REALLY about, but I can’t say anything. Mentioning names can get you sued. :D

[Jamestown1630]

Boy, this is a tough crowd...

[DouglasKC]

Man puts material wealth and success over the girl and family.

[cuban leaf]

If we want to see how Debbie and Scott end up, just watch the first ten minutes of Idiocracy. :)

[SeekAndFind]

RE: Man puts material wealth and success over the girl and family.

A succinct summary of the movie.

[cuban leaf]

That sounds like a great late 50’s song by the Ronnettes, or something...

[cuban leaf]

My wife has a ton of them on her “watch again” list in Amazon prime. I’ve seen one, and to quote Popeye, “That’s all I can stands. I can’t stands no more!”

The are the chick equivalent of those one star “post apocolypse Sci Fi” movies for guys.

[trisham]

Watching a Hallmark movie would be like waterboarding to me.

[Tijeras_Slim]

It’s actually a song by the band Blotto.

[cuban leaf]

That’s what I was thinking.

There is no way now that I’m even bringing up my two weeks with Princess Leia just before her unfortunate capture by her dad. But I think it is what gave her her strength.

[mewzilla]

...only place any reasonable person would want to live.

😨

Major metros are human ant farms. Dude, you want to find a nice girl, some advice: Move to a red bit.

[cuban leaf]

Watching a Hallmark movie would be like waterboarding to me.

---

It’s not bad if there is plenty of scotch around.

[cuban leaf]

I would not be surprised if that were actually true. :)

[CptnObvious]

You're so lucky. Women with secret crushes are divorce material. That's why long engagement periods are so good. Hopefully these and other problems can be caught before taking the big plunge.

Beauty is skin deep. What counts is character, and compatibility in at least these four areas: Money, In-laws and how to handle them, Religion and about Children (and whether to have them).

You want an attraction level of 7 or higher (out of 10). Sounds like she was a 6.

[al baby]

Tee hee i know how quick Catalina comes up out of lax lmao