Related....
Posted on 10/24/2019 3:04:33 AM PDT by sodpoodle
The Darwin Awards are out ...
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger... The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies... The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block (?) through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape…
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.... The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for... Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Numbers 6, 8, and 9, while hilarious, don’t really qualify as Darwin Award honorable mentions, but are more like Stupid Criminal Tricks.
#1 is not true.
I saw a TV show where they had video of stupid perps. One Black guy was at the counter of a store with his gun in hand and his hand resting on the counter. The clerk was doing his bidding so he relaxed and began toying absentmindedly with the weapon...as the clerk came back to the counter, there’s a flurry of action and both the clerk and the perp go down. Slow motion showed that the gun went off and the bullet hit the clerk in the side...the loosely held weapon rotated around the perp’s finger and as it was pointing at his head, the pressure on the trigger fired it again...the clerk got up with blood on his side and peered over the counter at the dead perp...I considered it one of “Americas’ Funniest Videos” funniest videos...
There’s a lot of Karma involved there.
Sorry, just can't see how this qualifies as a Darwin nominee! In Chicago especially!
The various “Annual Darwin Awards” e-mails (such as the one which is the topic of this article) do not originate with DarwinAwards.com; they are put together by unknown persons.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/2005-darwin-awards/
Someone does not know the meaning of a Darwin award. A Darwin winner must remove himself from the gene pool. This usually, but not always, requires the death of the recipient.
Regarding #10, the guy sucking on sewage.
We were at an RV dump station to dump our sewage tanks and while draining we watched the people next to us who had no idea what they were doing. The correct procedure is to first remove the RV sewer drain cap, connect the hose from the RV to the dump station drain, then open the RV sewage valves.
The clown beside us had his sons helping. He knelt down by his RV’s sewage drain and started to remove the cap. At the same time his kids pulled the black tank sewer gate valve which allowed the toilet sewage to drain.
When the guy got the cap off his legs were flooded with a thick brown fluid. It was a frantic comedy act as they had no idea what caused it. By the time he was done fighting to get the cap back on his arms, chest and legs were covered with $hit water. They never thought closing that valve would stop the flow.
“3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.”
Soooo, who gets the award(s), the man or the woman...or both?
#9 reminds of the bank robber who wrote a hold-up note on the back of a withdrawal slip and handed it to the bank teller. The teller looked at it and said that the note wasn’t written on a withdrawal slip for that bank and told him he’d have to take his note to the bank down the street. The would-be robber did just that when he arrived the police were already waiting for him.
From the article: “- - - plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake.”
Impossible. There is no cap similar to a gasoline cap on a motor home that is sewage related. At the underside of the motor home will be a black cap on a black pipe, or a door that must first be opened to see the black pipe. To access the sewage that black cap must be removed from the pipe, then another door opened to open the sewage valve.
The only other way to access the sewage tank is by going inside the motor home and putting the siphon hose down the toilet.
Even if some clown did get full of sewage, he’d first have to find the right doors, pry them open, remove the cap and then pull open the sewage valve. Having this knowledge he’d know full well he was into sewage and not gasoline.
Someone that has never owned an RV made this up. Must be a professional journalist, CNN grade.
I remember that story (or one like it) made the news round when I was living in Houston, where it happened. It is supposed to be factual. I certainly don’t remember the type of camper.
I thought the criteria for a Darwin Award was that it eliminated the subject involved. In these “awards” 8 of the 10 people lived. Fake news?
Related....
Yep. Neither does number 4.
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