She’s got a point:
When you know that there is NO CHANCE of recovery, little Miss Suzy Sunshine and her “Everything will be just fine, don’t you worry about it.” attitude is the very definition of TOXIC.
It’s hard enough to deal with the inevitable loss of a loved one to incurable disease. Having a *know-nothing* come along and undermine your resolve is poisonous.
THAT is who the article is about, not generic positivity.
Phony optimism kills me.
I really prefer realism. Truth is a tonic.
Mr Persevero has been through it with cancer and it’s complications. I frankly hate the people who have this that or the other for sale to miracle cure him. They are stinking liars taking advantage of the most desperate people. A pox upon them.
Just be real with me.
Honesty and hard truth is one of the most excellent ways. Never smite hope in the process though. Hope is a very strong elixir against despair and depression.
We must be careful in dismissing everything we see published. True, 90% of what’s in the Mainstream media is complete fabrication. We react, understandably, by assuming practically everything falls under that umbrella. Unfortunately, we, on occasion, stumble upon items that are completely legit. This is one of them. The word “toxic” triggers us because of the leftists constant abuse of the term. However, in this case, just talk honestly to a terminal person. All the “positive thinking” advice they receive really is just more stress for them. Think about it.
A close friend of mine died recently. It was not an easy final few months for her but she did have time to mend fences with her children and siblings. She had been living with major pain and stress for several years and that left her cranky. Once she realized that it would soon be over it gave her peace.
I miss her and will always miss her but I do not wish her back into a body that was racked with pain and a dependence on others that she found intolerable. No matter how well meaning the happy chirping of the "happy happy joy joy" crowd were they missed the fact that she was not unhappy to be going.
I think people reach a point where they hear enough stuff from so many people. I dont think we need a new term for people just getting worn out hearing so many platitiudes or upteen different ‘miracle’ cures.
Just because they used the word “toxic” doesn’t discount the effect. The problem is real. Folks think they are being helpful, but they are not. A few years back, I had a friend reveal his own cancer diagnosis to a group of friends. Having been through this before with close family members, one of his comments was “Please DON’T send me advice on my treatment, miracle cures, diets, or anything else. I have an oncology team I trust, and they will be my sole guide in my treatment. DO send me your prayers, wishes, support and love”.
Ask questions that help your friend or loved one develop the story they’re telling
When someone is telling you how awful something is, they want to talk about it. I've learned to sit and listen, and ask--
-Then what happened?
-Did he say why?
-What do you think that meant?
-Were you angry?
-Was it what you were expecting?
Just let them talk it out.
I had colorectal cancer. Did the chemo and radiation, and held a federal supervisory position. The chemo was the early walkaroumd box type, and the radiation was james bond on the laser table stomach down. And yes, after surgery i had both again. It does wear you down, you do start questioning, is this it? BUT YOU GO ON!! If the dr. said, the ride is almost over for you, YOU GO ON. Why? To give up, just swallow your pistol, it’s the same thing, but drawn out.