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Dear Abby: Veteran rubbed the wrong way by the expression: ‘Thank you for your service’
al.com ^ | Sept. 22, 2019 | Abigail Van Buren

Posted on 09/22/2019 8:07:08 AM PDT by bgill

DEAR ABBY: I am a veteran, and something gnaws at me every time I hear it. It’s the expression, “Thank you for your service.” Having lived through the ’60s and ’70s, I remember all too well seeing many soldiers bad-mouthed and worse during those times. Since 9/11 many of the same people who were critical of us then are now thanking us. It rings hollow to many of the vets I have talked to. We did our job, some to the ultimate level. We never asked for thanks, and we still don’t. We respect the rights given to those who wish to abuse them because we believe in them. Some of us even died so all could enjoy these rights. If a person truly wants to thank a vet, DO something for him or her instead of just offering lip service. Cut their grass, offer to help carry in their groceries, etc. While words are appreciated at times, hearing them too often becomes hollow. Showing appreciation is always welcome. -- A VETERAN IN THE MIDWEST

(Excerpt) Read more at al.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Military/Veterans
KEYWORDS: abbyisafake; dearabby; military
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To: camle
You don't need anyone's permission -- including the "permission" of any veteran -- to express your gratitude for their service and for our armed forces. If your expression of gratitude is rejected by a veteran because they don't think they're worthy of it, well, that's their burden to carry.

I will continue to thank any veteran I meet as I respect and am grateful toward all veterans regardless of the capacity in which they have served (which, of course, I have no way of knowing).

61 posted on 09/22/2019 9:38:57 AM PDT by glennaro
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To: Tennessee Conservative
Why? Times change. Should we not thank those who serve? I never did serve in the miltiary and I regret. Washington said “The willingness of a generation to serve under arms will be judged by how the previous generations service was received’’.
62 posted on 09/22/2019 9:47:35 AM PDT by jmacusa ("If wisdom is not the Lord, what is wisdom?)
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To: The Antiyuppie
It’s a cliche and it’s thoughtless, the linguistic equivalent of those stupid ribbons people put on the backs of their cars.

Matt Judge addressed this syndrome very effectively some years back, when his characters Beavis and Butthead were watching a televised Hollywood awards show:

Beavis: “What’s with all these ribbons these people are wearing?”

Butthead: “Uhhhh...that’s so we’ll know that they’re famous.”

63 posted on 09/22/2019 9:55:21 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ([CTRL]-[GALT]-[DELETE])
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To: bgill

I was 6/7 years old when my dad older in Vietnam. I remember growing up despising the hippies. I was too young to do anything then, but have grown up thanking our servicemen ever since, and will continue to do so.


64 posted on 09/22/2019 9:55:55 AM PDT by Ros42
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To: Ros42

older=served


65 posted on 09/22/2019 9:57:29 AM PDT by Ros42
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To: Savage Beast

There may be others just at puissant and as patriotic who have not yet come forth because of the enormity of the sacrifice that will be required—but who will if they must.

****************

The likelihood of this is becoming increasingly remote as demographics continue to change the country in profound and troubling ways. We also have generations of people in this country who have grown up with little to no sacrifice or hardship. They think the easy life is the way it will always be, no matter who is elected. So the promises of utopia and free stuff for all from the Left tend to be seen in an attractive and unrealistic light.

There’s not much appreciation of our heritage and precious liberties out there anymore. Trump’s successes notwithstanding, I’m not sanguine about our future.


66 posted on 09/22/2019 10:00:20 AM PDT by Starboard
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To: bgill

As a Vietnam Vet who wears his “Vietnam Vet” ball cap basically every day ... I happen to like being thanked ... I always say “You’re Welcome” ... it sure beats the treatment I got when I returned from the war.


67 posted on 09/22/2019 10:01:36 AM PDT by clamper1797 (We are getting close to the last "box")
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To: camle

This. I am in the exact same circumstances, and I think in exactly the same manner that you do. While the phrase may be hollow coming from some people, it is not how well coming from the vast majority of people out there. They really feel and believe this. I think that this particular veteran was rubbed the wrong way by one or a few idiots, and perhaps we are not to be so sensitive.

I work part time for a charity that assists vets who are in transition, most of whom have PTSD. While most of the guys that come to our ranch are veterans of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, we get quite a number of Persian Gulf vets and Vietnam vets. I have never heard any of them say anything other than “you are welcome,” or something equivalent, when someone said “thank you for your service.” They all understand that this is all that most civilians are able to do, since they are not their brothers.


68 posted on 09/22/2019 10:13:40 AM PDT by Ancesthntr ("The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." A. E. van Vogt, The Weapons Shops of Isher)
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To: Tennessee Conservative

Maybe he should not look a gift horse in the mouth. Better late than never, especially when you were talking about a seachange in public attitudes.

My father was in the Navy between Korea and Vietnam, and he had a lot of his boyhood friends in the Korean war itself. He was extremely upset at how people in the late 60s and early 70s treated our soldiers and our vets, but toward the end of his life he was grateful that the public at large had learned that the prior attitude was 100% wrong..


69 posted on 09/22/2019 10:16:07 AM PDT by Ancesthntr ("The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." A. E. van Vogt, The Weapons Shops of Isher)
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To: manc
As a combat veteran in the infantry non mech I do not mind to a certain extent, however when I hear some people say it to a serving , or veteran who only issued pillow cases out , or bedding does grate me.

How would anyone know who is a combat vet from a non combat one by just running into them in public ? Those 8 guys in the rear keeping grunts supplied, transported, treated when they were wounded are just as important as the grunt humping the rifle in the bush. You can't fight if you can't get there or run out of ammo.

70 posted on 09/22/2019 10:28:44 AM PDT by redcatcherb412
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To: bgill

Have a nice day.


71 posted on 09/22/2019 10:30:21 AM PDT by Raycpa
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To: bgill

IMHO, the guy has some snowflake tendencies. Writing a letter to Dear Abby to complain about people thanking him for serving our country? Cut my lawn?! Suck it up buttercup! Say thanks and move on!


72 posted on 09/22/2019 10:40:12 AM PDT by ETCM
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To: manc

“As a combat veteran in the infantry non mech I do not mind to a certain extent, however when I hear some people say it to a serving , or veteran who only issued pillow cases out , or bedding does grate me.”

I’m one of those. I did 16 out of 20 years as a recruiter, and the last 12 years in my hometown. Am I any less a vet than you? There are choices I made that would have prevented me from being engaged in ground combat such as joining the Navy instead of the Marines, but sometimes, especially in the military, you play the hand you’re dealt. I can tell you that unlike some I never, ever claim to have done anything that I haven’t. I also very seldom take advantage of veteran’s benefits and do not wear any apparel that advertises my service.


73 posted on 09/22/2019 10:40:41 AM PDT by suthener
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To: Manly Warrior
"A guy who doesn’t wear an “I love me “ hat and just goes about bearing my circumstances privately between myself and my Creator, the rest is fluff."

I read your post a bit ago and had to think about your comments. So - are you saying that those of us who do wear ball caps celebrating our service are in the wrong? I guess that I should infer that you have either never served in a service that you are proud of - or that you feel that commemorating a service or event is beneath you - and that we're just "old men" when we don't wear our hats.

Allow me to straighten you out slightly: During our war, we were brought home in small groups and often in the dark of night to reduce the crowds and insults we would have waiting for us (or, as in my case, we were shuffled from hospital to hospital in blacked-out buses), far from the public eye. We were not encouraged to wear our uniforms, for fear of further antagonizing the "antiwar" (pro-enemy) demonstrators who were enthusiastically carrying the enemy's flag and chanting slogans supporting the enemy. We had movies and TV series made about us that routinely showed us as atrocity-committing Nazis, or maniacs about go violently crazy at any point - so getting a job after discharge was sometimes dicey.

Page forward to today. I occasionally wear my Vietnam Veteran hat because I am proud that I served in combat and lost muscle, blood and bone for my country. I am proud of our service in our war and what good, competent people we were. Most of all, I wear the hat so when another Vietnam Veteran sees me, we can talk, share stories and remember together.

Now, if some younger person thanks me for my service I am slightly surprised but respond warmly because this is a new generation - and I like them better than my generation.

74 posted on 09/22/2019 10:43:44 AM PDT by Chainmail (Remember that half the people you meet are below average intelligence)
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To: bgill

Being a Gold Star sister,

“WELCOME HOME!” usually with a hug.


75 posted on 09/22/2019 10:44:07 AM PDT by huldah1776 ( Vote Pro-life! Allow God to bless America before He avenges the death of the innocent.)
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To: bgill

Besides Patriots who fought in the Revolutionary War, I had family that served in the U.S. Army during WWII, and my brother in Vietnam. Whenever I see anyone in uniform, or a veteran wearing a military-related baseball cap, I thank them for their service, and they either say thank you back, or that it’s their pleasure to serve. I won’t stop thanking them until one of them tells me to...in person.


76 posted on 09/22/2019 10:53:59 AM PDT by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne)
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To: manc

So we have your bona fides (if true) and every one knows we pick and choose what the service wants us to be. I won’t bother you with my 20 years of service, because you are one of those glory hounds who embellish your time, what ever you did. So live your dream, and enjoy.


77 posted on 09/22/2019 11:03:35 AM PDT by SERE_DOC ( The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it. T)
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To: firebrand

“I usually say “I know you’re not supposed to say ‘thank you’ but Thank you.”

What I do is if I am in a line and they are behind, I offer for them/their party to get ahead of me. Now that I am older, I get fewer takers. I figure that if they gave up years of their youth for me, i can lose a minute or two for them here and there.


78 posted on 09/22/2019 11:04:26 AM PDT by The Antiyuppie (‘When small men cast long shadows, then it is very late in the day.’)
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To: Tennessee Conservative
He has asked me several times why they honor him now when they spit on him back then.

It's not the same "they".

79 posted on 09/22/2019 11:10:43 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the peopIe to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: suthener

“As a combat veteran in the infantry non mech I do not mind to a certain extent, however when I hear some people say it to a serving , or veteran who only issued pillow cases out , or bedding does grate me“

As a non-vereran, I don’t look at it that way, I consider them all equally unless they are wounded. While I was having fun in my youth (well, not that much, come to think of it) dating, earning fairly good money, others were at the very least living under rough conditions away from friends and family, or even getting shot at, while earning crap.


80 posted on 09/22/2019 11:12:41 AM PDT by The Antiyuppie (‘When small men cast long shadows, then it is very late in the day.’)
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