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Monday Moans & Groans
laughfactory ^ | 8/26/2019 | multiple

Posted on 08/26/2019 6:43:29 AM PDT by sodpoodle

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down ?"


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: adult; humor; occupational
huge selection, find your favorite(s)
1 posted on 08/26/2019 6:43:29 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

I needed a good laugh this morning :) Thank you!


2 posted on 08/26/2019 6:46:48 AM PDT by southernindymom
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To: southernindymom

I posted this earlier, on another (serious) thread:

****If you are taking Viagra, make sure the label says “Made in USA”.

We do not want the Chinese or Russians meddling in our erections.*****


3 posted on 08/26/2019 6:54:19 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

HILLARY CLINTON GOES TO A GIFTED-STUDENT PRIMARY SCHOOL IN NEW YORK TO TALK ABOUT THE WORLD.

AFTER HER TALK SHE OFFERS QUESTION TIME.

ONE LITTLE BOY PUTS UP HIS HAND. HILLARY ASKS HIM WHAT HIS NAME IS.

“KENNETH,” HE SAYS.

“AND WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION, KENNETH ?” SHE ASKS.
“I HAVE THREE QUESTIONS,” HE SAYS.

“FIRST — WHATEVER HAPPENED IN BENGHAZI ?

“SECOND — WHY WOULD YOU RUN FOR PRESIDENT IF YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF HANDLING TWO E-MAIL ACCOUNTS ?

“AND, THIRD — WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE MISSING SIX BILLION DOLLARS WHILE YOU WERE SECRETARY OF STATE ?”

JUST THEN THE BELL RINGS FOR RECESS.

HILLARY INFORMS THE KIDDIES THAT THEY WILL CONTINUE AFTER RECESS.

WHEN THEY RESUME HILLARY SAYS,

“OKAY, WHERE WERE WE ? OH, THAT’S RIGHT, QUESTION TIME.
WHO HAS A QUESTION ?”

A DIFFERENT BOY — LITTLE JOHNNY — PUTS HIS HAND UP.

HILLARY POINTS TO HIM AND ASKS HIM WHAT HIS NAME IS.

“JOHNNY,” HE SAYS.

“AND WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION, JOHNNY ?” SHE ASKS.

“I HAVE FIVE QUESTIONS,” HE SAYS.

“FIRST — WHATEVER HAPPENED IN BENGHAZI ?

“SECOND — WHY WOULD YOU RUN FOR PRESIDENT IF YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF HANDLING TWO E-MAIL ACCOUNTS ?

“THIRD — WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE MISSING SIX BILLION DOLLARS WHILE YOU WERE SECRETARY OF STATE ?

“FOURTH — WHY DID THE RECESS BELL GO OFF 20 MINUTES EARLY ?

“AND, FIFTH — WHERE’S KENNETH ?”


4 posted on 08/30/2019 11:19:17 PM PDT by mad_as_he$$ (Beware the homeless industrial complex.)
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To: mad_as_he$$

You should have started a new thread with that great joke;)

I have been busy with some medical issues.....and now concerned with the hurricane (in the LowCountry SC)

God bless.


5 posted on 08/31/2019 10:09:05 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

To lazy to start a new thread!!! lol.

Hope the hurricane doesn’t hit you to hard.


6 posted on 08/31/2019 11:02:43 AM PDT by mad_as_he$$ (Beware the homeless industrial complex.)
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