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satire: Epstein’s prison guard was tragically killed in auto accident tomorrow
Genesius Times ^
| 8/14/19
| Exavier Saskagoochie
Posted on 08/17/2019 8:45:05 PM PDT by LibWhacker
In a shocking coincidence, the prison guard who was watching Jeffrey Epstein during his suicide, Malcolm Smith, was tragically killed in an auto accident tomorrow.
“I can’t believe it,” Oswald Harvey Lee a Smith coworker said. “It’s hard to believe that he’s gone.”
Smith had overseen the transfer of Epstein’s cellmate and the switching off of the security cameras that monitored Epstein during his 24-hour surveillance on suicide watch.
“It’s just a shame. Nothing like this has ever happened in American politics,” Lee added. “I just can’t believe he died tomorrow.”
Many questions have arisen since Epstein was suicided while under suicide watch including how he was accidentally cremated before a complete autopsy was conducted.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: epstein; guard; killed; prison; tomorrow
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To: LibWhacker
2
posted on
08/17/2019 8:46:57 PM PDT
by
Vendome
(I've Gotta Be Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB0ndRzaz2o)
To: LibWhacker
Can’t say that I blame them for taking him out. He was a ‘loose end’.
3
posted on
08/17/2019 8:48:14 PM PDT
by
BobL
(I eat at McDonald's and shop at Walmart - I just don't tell anyone.)
To: LibWhacker
Tomorrow’s NYT story on this is dated yesterday.
4
posted on
08/17/2019 8:55:45 PM PDT
by
House Atreides
(Boycott the NFL 100% — PERMANENTLY)
To: LibWhacker
5
posted on
08/17/2019 8:58:43 PM PDT
by
Chode
(Send bachelors, and come heavily armed!)
To: LibWhacker
6
posted on
08/17/2019 8:59:36 PM PDT
by
2ndDivisionVet
(You can't invade the mainland US. There'd be a rifle behind every blade of grass.)
To: Chode
Life #$#$ing sucks, I can’t take it no more. Signed, the dead guy.
“Analyse This” :)
7
posted on
08/17/2019 9:01:27 PM PDT
by
dp0622
(Bad, bad company Till the day I die.)
To: Chode
8
posted on
08/17/2019 9:03:51 PM PDT
by
2ndDivisionVet
(You can't invade the mainland US. There'd be a rifle behind every blade of grass.)
To: dp0622
9
posted on
08/17/2019 9:08:38 PM PDT
by
Chode
(Send bachelors, and come heavily armed!)
To: LibWhacker
U mean small plane crash! Not auto accident
10
posted on
08/17/2019 9:35:53 PM PDT
by
irishfox
To: LibWhacker
When is the pilot scheduled to have his plane crash?
11
posted on
08/17/2019 10:06:27 PM PDT
by
a fool in paradise
(Denounce DUAC - The Democrats Un-American Activists Commitee)
To: LibWhacker
What I heard is the SS went in and got him out and have him in protective custody. POTUS will use it to - - -
That guy from Lousiana? said so on Rush, Aug12, just before the 1 1/2 hour mark.
What we know is, witnesses bought off, body not looking like exactly right, ,,,
To: LibWhacker
He was probably so depressed by having to answer so many questions that he took his own life. Well, everyone’s dead; guess it’s time to move on.
To: LibWhacker
Oswald Harvey LeeColor me suspicious...
14
posted on
08/17/2019 10:21:39 PM PDT
by
ConservaTexan
(February 6, 1911/June 14, 1946)
To: ConservaTexan
You’re suspicious now, but you won’t be quite as suspicious tomorrow...
15
posted on
08/17/2019 10:39:07 PM PDT
by
null and void
(Heaven has an impenetrable wall, and a welcoming gate for those qualified, Hell is wide open.)
To: LibWhacker
It's quite similar to being blocked on Twitter, only more lethal...
16
posted on
08/17/2019 10:39:40 PM PDT
by
kiryandil
(The Media & the DNC tells you who you're gonna vote for. We CHOSE Trump.)
To: Chode
Hey - who WOULDN'T want to commit "suicide" in Givenchy?
17
posted on
08/17/2019 10:41:57 PM PDT
by
kiryandil
(The Media & the DNC tells you who you're gonna vote for. We CHOSE Trump.)
To: irishfox
Propellers do fly off all on their own sometimes, ya’ know?
18
posted on
08/17/2019 10:49:25 PM PDT
by
Bullish
(My tagline ran off with another man.)
To: LibWhacker
Things have gotten so surreal, the line between satire and reality is blurring.
19
posted on
08/17/2019 11:17:24 PM PDT
by
YogicCowboy
("I am not entirely on anyone's side, because no one is entirely on mine." - J. R. R. Tolkien)
To: Chode
pretty sure she committed suicide after this pic went public.
Givenchy has had no comment, and at last report had NOT comitted suicide, surprisingly.
20
posted on
08/18/2019 12:45:33 AM PDT
by
867V309
(Lock Her Up)
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