Posted on 06/28/2019 2:39:19 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
“I’m clearly a textbook case of the silent majority of middle-aged men who won’t admit they’re starved for friendship, even if all signs point to the contrary,” wrote Billy Baker in his recent exploration of male loneliness in The Boston Globe.
Perhaps one reason the piece made so many internet rounds is just how many people could relate: Last year Surgeon General Vivek Murthy warned that Americans are “facing an epidemic of loneliness and social isolation.”
Though “I’m going to die alone” is the common grumble among single people, scientifically, it’s more like, “I’m going to die if I’m alone.” A lack of social connections can spark inflammation and changes in the immune system, so lonely people are far more likely to die prematurely. Loneliness is more dangerous than obesity, and it’s about as deadly as smoking. The threat is considered so serious that England has created an entire “Campaign to End Loneliness.”
But in a cruel twist, the loneliest among us are set up to get lonelier still. People with few social connections experience brain changes that cause them to be more likely to view human faces as threatening, making it harder for them to bond with others.
To learn more about this conundrum, and how to resolve it, I recently spoke with John Cacioppo, a psychologist at the University of Chicago who wrote a book on loneliness and has researched the phenomenon extensively. An edited transcript of our conversation follows.
(Excerpt) Read more at getpocket.com ...
A lot of people wouldn’t be lonely if they were not assholes.
Terribly painful when such a good little friend passes. It may seem too early, but remember that there is a sad little dog out there who needs you even more than you need him. Try not to keep him waiting too long. :) Best wishes.
She’s a very pretty lady, hope she heals fully and you two enjoy many more years together.
I would find it insulting. I would even be a bit hurt.
I sense a certain degree of contempt in your description of your relative. That can’t be helpful to her, whatever her issues are.
You are very perceptive, Catmom. I have to admit it.
We have had our moments of friction as adults.
For the possibility that she would be insulted, which I don’t want, I probably will not be bringing that topic up to her.
She might take it the wrong way.
Maybe someone else in the family can.
Love the photograph.
Are Kramer and Newman stealing stuff from the laughing old man?
LOL!
You win the “Wisdom Award” on this thread.
“but my first visit to Free Republic was election night in November 2000.”
The Republicans also stole that one. /s
Yeah, I used to feel bad about it, love thy neighbor and all. Now I kind of enjoy it. Your situation is not unlike my own.
Dorothy Parker, on hearing her phone ring,
would say, “What fresh hell is this?”
The best friendships grow out of support groups.
That is a fact of life that took a decade to learn. What bonds you to another? Booze? Religion? Sports? Family?
A support group uniquely focuses on human growth through resolving daily struggle. It takes time, maybe a year and being selective along the way. Later on, there exists 3 or 4 of you, who meet weekly and what happens next is ...
... magic!
You’re right to grieve. I’ve always said, and felt, I’m not over them because I don’t want to be over them. I’m just thankful. Then I spoil the next even worse.
I crave to be alone. I suppose that’s weird in most people’s book, it would seem. Perhaps one day I’ll regret that wish, but don’t bet on it.
That you for responding to my post so graciously. I was afraid you’d be offended but you took it like an adult.
Anyhoo, good luck with your relative!
Thank you. Happy Trails to you too!
Cure: join a good church :)
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