Posted on 06/04/2019 2:27:29 AM PDT by Cronos
In further backlash against Georgia’s heartbeat bill, which bans abortion after a fetal heartbeat is detected, the Canaanite god Moloch says he will reconsider his presence in Georgia if the bill goes into effect.
“He feels like he’s being singled out by this bill,” said Moloch’s spokesman from underneath a dark cloak. “Women’s health is very important to him, especially the child-consuming part of it.”
Moloch has long offered power and glory to whichever nations would sacrifice their children to him, and it is unknown how this could affect Georgia’s economy if the fire pits into which children are thrown are extinguished for good.
“Think of all the jobs that could be lost,” warned Stacey Abrams, who lost the election for Georgia governor and has since disputed the result. “We need Moloch for a strong and prosperous Georgia, and all he asks in return is that we sacrifice children to him -- children we mainly don’t even want.”
The Georgia bill is expected to be challenged in court, and Moloch will join in the brief against it along with the child-eating monster Lamia and Planned Parenthood.
Babylon Bee has been spot on recently!
Amen to this article.
I wonder if Snopes will rate this false.
I read a book about witchcraft back when I was a teenager. In order to cast spells and create potions, witches used the rendered fat of children, babies actually.
Now the daughters of Old Scratch need not go looking for foundlings, just make a nice donation to Planned Parenthood and the freshest of “baby oil” will be at your doorstep.
I understand Hillary highly recommends it.
“Moloch Says He May Rethink Presence In Georgia If Anti-Abortion Bill Goes Into Effect”
Passing these kind of laws may be a sophisticated well thought out strategy to dissuade filthy liberals from moving to red states.
bttt
Now that you mention it, I have never seen the two of them in the same room at the same time.
Things that make you go: Hmmmmmm....
i love the Bee!
HEY - I like that. Good idea.
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