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Why My Wife And I Decided To Abort Our Unborn Gay Son [SATIRE]
The Federalist ^ | February 28, 2019 | Stephen Lavedas

Posted on 03/01/2019 4:54:20 PM PST by RoosterRedux

My girlfriend and I recently found out she is pregnant. I told her I’d support her and the baby, and secretly started saving for an engagement ring. She said she thought I would have wanted her to get an abortion. I didn’t—at least at first.

She was excited and started planning the nursery. It took me two months to save up, but I finally got on one knee and popped the question. She cried and said yes. I’m still scared about being a dad, but I’ve got a good job and so does she. We’ll make a great family, just the three of us.

Last week, though, she went in for a checkup. We decided to get full fetal blood work done. Everyone’s doing it; the doctor said there is little risk to the fetus, and better safe than sorry, right? I’m sure everything will be fine, and we’ll learn the sex. I really hope it’s a boy.

Oh, and we decided to make everything official with a trip to the courthouse. We are married now!

Well, got the blood work results, and there’s good news and bad news. Good news: It’s a boy and he’s healthy. Bad news: He’s gay. I didn’t even know there was a blood test for that now, but I guess it’s new? They found the genes that cause homosexuality and they test for them now.

I’m a really tolerant person, but this has made me think hard. I don’t know how I feel about trying to raise a gay son. Will I be able to relate to him? Won’t his life be super hard? I know things are getting better for gay people, but it seems to me that being gay is really hard in the South, where we live.

(Excerpt) Read more at thefederalist.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: abortion; belongsinchat; bloggers; clickbait; garbage; homosexualagenda; irony; justkidding; lgbtforfetus; not4real; notnews; notreally; opistrolling; parody; poeticjustice; recoveringexhippie; rlly; roosterredux; sarcasm; satire; sendup; thisissogay; trolls; whatsgoingonhere
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To: RoosterRedux

Rush has been making this point about the pro-abortionists for a long time.


21 posted on 03/01/2019 5:08:50 PM PST by gloryblaze
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To: Veto!

As viewed here and now on F/R, I do not see any note about this being Satire. I figured it had to be, but it’s not labeled as such right now. Maybe you have to go all the way to the website to see that note.


22 posted on 03/01/2019 5:10:18 PM PST by lee martell
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To: lodi90

I was hearing it, too.


23 posted on 03/01/2019 5:10:23 PM PST by Lurkinanloomin (Natural Born Citizen Means Born Here of Citizen Parents_Know Islam, No Peace-No Islam, Know Peace)
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To: RoosterRedux

...thought I had heard the story before?...


24 posted on 03/01/2019 5:10:24 PM PST by Doogle (( USAF.68-73....8th TFW Ubon Thailand....never store a threat you should have eliminated)))
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To: Veto!

Article is clearly labeled Satire/


But not the excerpt


25 posted on 03/01/2019 5:10:37 PM PST by conservative98
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To: RoosterRedux

Sorry, I’m throwing the big brown BS flag on this one.

1) Read his bio at the site. He lives in Virginia with his wife and three kids. Either this is an old story, or he’s messin’ with the facts. And Virginia, while it isn’t California or Massachusetts, is a lot more “tolerant” than Mississippi or Alabama.

2) A “gay” gene that they can test for? If this was so, the Left would be all over this discovery, since it would prove (to their pinheaded minds) that homosexuality is nature, not nurture, as those Wascally Wepublicans keep saying.

Nice try, troll. Next time, make it a little more believable or peddle your articles to the National Enquirer, whose readership is more likely to fall for this.


26 posted on 03/01/2019 5:10:40 PM PST by ssaftler (Beam me up, Scotty! There's no intelligent life left in this country!)
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To: RoosterRedux
Best line last: I guess some fetuses are more equal than others, but I can’t understand it. I just followed all the arguments I’ve heard from our society to their logical conclusions.
27 posted on 03/01/2019 5:10:43 PM PST by kabar
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To: sam_whiskey
>Satire?

Currently. No pre-natal gay blood test yet exists. For that matter, no post-natal one either. But if the gay claim that their condition was indeed a genetic or other medically caused condition, beyond their conscious control, was ever proven and a reliable blood test thus became available it wouldn't stay satire long. If it were a genetic cause, then in a not so distant future in which many genetic diseases will be correctible, then the hand wringing may not be over aborting little Barry, but instead over whether to convert him into a viable grandkid producer and whether to ever tell him his switch was flipped. And since most gay destined babies will be originating with straight parents the remaining gays will be lobbying to outlaw flipping that switch.

28 posted on 03/01/2019 5:12:57 PM PST by JohnBovenmyer
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To: RoosterRedux

There’s nothing in the posted excerpt to indicate that the piece is satire, but the Lawyer Party does have a liberaltarian contingent and even an anti-Trump contingent.


29 posted on 03/01/2019 5:13:16 PM PST by familyop ("Welcome to Costco. I love you." - -Costco greeter in the movie, "Idiocracy")
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To: RoosterRedux

This article is a classic example of a well-crafted shitpost, many will be dropping their tendies just into the first few paragraphs.


30 posted on 03/01/2019 5:13:49 PM PST by northside
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To: RoosterRedux

Brilliant!


31 posted on 03/01/2019 5:13:52 PM PST by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Support Israel.)
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To: conservative98
We will send you a bona-fide test for the "gay gene" (it really works) for a $100 contribution to Free Republic.

Really.;-)

32 posted on 03/01/2019 5:14:27 PM PST by RoosterRedux
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To: RoosterRedux

Or kicking in the womb to the beat of Barry Manilow songs


33 posted on 03/01/2019 5:14:36 PM PST by bigbob (Trust Trump. Trust the Plan.)
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To: gloryblaze

Rush has been making this point about the pro-abortionists for a long time.

Yes. I’ve heard him wonder out loud a few times what would happen if they found a “gay gene” and people started murdering their babies because of it.


34 posted on 03/01/2019 5:14:36 PM PST by Pravious
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To: bigbob

*belly laugh*


35 posted on 03/01/2019 5:16:12 PM PST by RoosterRedux
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To: RoosterRedux

Calm down


36 posted on 03/01/2019 5:16:28 PM PST by conservative98
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To: RoosterRedux

Pure genius

This is the impending take down of the left


37 posted on 03/01/2019 5:16:50 PM PST by lonestar67 (America is exceptional)
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To: ssaftler

Don’t beam yourself to Scotty it seems intelligence may not extend to detecting satire or parody. Maybe farce would be detectable.


38 posted on 03/01/2019 5:17:07 PM PST by FreedomNotSafety
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Why My Wife And I Decided To Abort Our Unborn Gay Son

Even Richard Dawkins tweeted it would be immoral to have a child who would suffer because of his genetics. I’m sure we’re on solid ground here.
By

39 posted on 03/01/2019 5:17:15 PM PST by deport
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To: conservative98
Heheh.

"Calm down"?

Does that mean you don't want the "gay gene' test?

40 posted on 03/01/2019 5:18:41 PM PST by RoosterRedux
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