Posted on 02/10/2019 6:56:27 PM PST by EdnaMode
“Oh, God, another Asian girl/white boy couple,” I groan, dropping my fiancé’s hand.
He hates it when I do this. So do I, really. I know it’s unkind and self-loathing, but every time I see another couple of our racial makeup, a little part of me sinks. We live in San Francisco, so this dip is as common as the hills. In these moments, I wish we were anything else ― that he were my gay best friend or we were startup co-founders, that he were Asian and I were white, that we were exquisitely ambiguous races, or that I could sink like my feelings into the sidewalk, be a little worm, and date whomever I want without considering social perception.
Shame is neither the wisest nor most mature part of oneself, but it still has a voice. “Stop it you guys!” my shame wants to say to these other couples. “Can’t you see the more of us there are, the worse it looks?”
“It” meaning the prevalent trend of Asian women seeming to end up with white men. “It” meaning the perpetuation of Asian fetish.
The first time I heard the term ”Asian fetish,” I was the only Chinese kid in a tiny school. Other students in my class had been pairing up to date since fifth grade, exchanging love notes and making each other Alanis Morissette mixtapes. I waited for my ”Jagged Little Pill” cassette, but nothing came in fifth grade. Or sixth. Or seventh. Or eighth.
(Excerpt) Read more at huffingtonpost.com ...
“with grandchildren down the road.”
Nine, so far.
(Blessed beyond any deserving.)
Tria Chang | HuffPost | Favorite topics include death, divorce, and diversity.
https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5c547b8a24000007029fa5b5.png
Yeesh! go make me some noodles woman!
American men also have a rep from experiences in the war of being quick to help strangers in distress. The rest of the world limits their offers of aid to relatives.
Right after the war in the later 70s it was different because the government promoted hatred for the half caste children we left behind but that changed as the people began to prosper a bit and stopped listening to the Vi Xi (Vee Cees, their term for government people).
Don’t obsess about what others think.
Words to live by Jackie, we're all gone way to soon.
“The “fetish” was just not strong enough in me.”
Why does it have to be a fetish?
If a man is attracted to blue-eyed blondes, is that a fetish?
If a man is attracted to women who act like reasonable people, is that a fetish?
This “fetish” crapola is just the resentment of American women who hate non-American women for giving American men a refuge from their venomous talons.
Outstanding!!!!
The cat women do us guys a HUGE FAVOR by not allowing themselves to be marriage material.
“I actually read the article. This dude needs to run far, far away.”
Usually I just skim stuff like this, but having read the article I concur. Run. Fast and far.
Dude, a relationship with a silly, immature, shallow person cannot end well.
I think most men have a preferred "look" for being attracted to a woman, but for most it isn't all or nothing. I was very attracted to women who were a bit shorter than me, raven hair, dark eyes and swarthy skin. So of course I married a woman who is taller than me, blonde, blue eyes and very light skin.
Caca de toro
What exactly is wrong with it?
Is it equally wrong when say a black guy and a white girl date or get married? Because guess what...that is far more common than a white guy and a black girl pairing up. Would you be “racist” to object to the first coupling?
OK if you answer that yes it would be racist to object to a black guy dating or marrying a white girl then why is it not equally racist to object to a white guy dating/marrying an asian girl?
I have an idea. How about you just go with the one who makes you happy and not worry about anything else? I know, I know, that’s just crazy talk.
“This “fetish” crapola is just the resentment of American women who hate non-American women for giving American men a refuge from their venomous talons.”
Absolutely - I was also sickened by the word ‘fetish’ in this context, as if being attracted to Asian women is a ‘weird’ characteristic in a guy. One could more strongly argue that a guy being attracted to other guys has a ‘fetish’, but I doubt that person would get published in the Huffington Post.
Yep, and they do ABSOLUTELY HATE the fact that American guys have ‘options’, and, as one case see in just this thread, conservative American men are more than ready to exercise those ‘options’, and it’s hard to see that not increasing, considering the explosion of Asians in the US population, and the ever increasing sickness in American women coming out of college.
Good reason for that being the norm, beyond the OBVIOUS racism......that is. /sarc
It doesn’t have to be a fetish, but she has bought into it as being one. Her words, not mine.
And you are exactly right about where it comes from. Some work I did years ago allowed me to get to know a lot of East Asians. I discovered that one way to get American women riled up is to speak approvingly of Asian women. Just to speak it. One woman told me that I liked Asian women because they are meek and I can walk over them. I go out of way to avoid stepping on ants, so I am not about to walk over a woman. This person knew me well, but that didn’t spare me from her resentment.
Have you ever seen the show 90 Day Fiance? Disgusting, old men with money hungry green card seekers or older, fat women with young Muslim men. After watching a few episodes, my thoughts are Trump should definitely clamp down on K-1 visas, lol.
“I used to have American Femipig types say I wanted to marry an Asian woman because I wanted a demur, controllable and submissive woman.”
Asian woman controllable? Yeah, that is a hoot. I would be the Sunday meal if I tried that.
From what I’ve read on the subject in each case....ie when there is a Black-White couple and an Asian-White couple, its a black guy and white girl about 70% of the time vs only 30% white guy and black girl.
and its the exact same 70% vs 30% for an Asian-White couple to be white guy and asian girl.
Why that is......I don’t know. Nobody will study this because they know they will immediately catch all kinds of crap for it. The explanations the PCers put forth like “colonialism....blah blah blah” don’t work. How then can we explain the fact that black guys and white girls are far more likely to get together than white guys and black girls? Is that “colonialism” too????
It would be interesting to study this. Too bad the tribal politics infecting society has put any study of this off limits.
I hope both parties in that relationship learn a more mature outlook on the world. How is it demeaning to realize that like you, your partner has dated other people in their life? Doesn't Ms. Chang realize that Asian women all look different, just like Caucasian or Black women all look different?
Apparently not. To Ms. Chang the other women her fiance dated "look like her" because they were also Asian. But if she lived in Asia that situation would apply to everyone, and therefore she would find every relationship "demeaning" since every man she met would have dated and been friends with other Asian women.
For that matter, she must find it "demeaning" to have Asian girl friends, since after all they also "look like her".
The whole thought process Ms. Chang discusses is really sad.
Learning to code would take this “journalist’s” mind off things.
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