"...my brain so valuable we have to leave it in the trunk"
Posted on 02/05/2019 2:59:32 AM PST by sodpoodle
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news, he said as he surveyed the worried faces. The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, 'How much will a brain cost?'
The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a Democrat's brain; $200 for a Republican's brain."
The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to 'try' to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans. A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the Democrats brain so much more than a Republicans brain?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans brains a lot lower because they've been used."
SEND THIS TO A SMART Republican WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO ANY Democrat WHOM YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!
I’d flip it: “Typical. So why are Republican brains sooo expensive, Doctor?” a grieving family member bitterly wondered aloud.
“Ah. Well, it’s really a question of scarcity. Nearly all Republicans are still using theirs.”
"His brain is dead, but his heart is still beating."
Aunt Mary almost fainted upon hearing the news, "Dear Lord, I had no idea Uncle John was a Democrat."
"...my brain so valuable we have to leave it in the trunk"
“...AND TO ANY Democrat WHOM YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!”
No such animal.
- - - -
(Good morning laugh, as usual.)
Alternate ending:
The doctor’s words were greeted by quizzical looks which turned into expressions of deep sorrow.
“Doctor, we appreciate everything you’ve done. We’d like to say our last goodbyes before we leave,” the dying man’s son finally said.
“But I can save him!” exclaimed the doctor.
“We understand, sir. You see, we can only afford the Republican brain but would hate to have it in the family.” A chorus of hear hears affirmed his statement.
The doctor sighed as he handed the man a final waiver to fill out. “A post-adulthood abortion it is then.”
I like the thought of flipping it, but supply and demand would entail the price would go up due to scarcity.
I thought the punch line would be that such an item was extremely rare and therefore more expensive.
It’s also apparent that the democrat brain is defective.
No such animal.
That's because democrats were given limited brains,
but an OVER abundance of feelings.
If it hadn't been meant as a joke; this would be the correct answer. :-)
Finding a moderate liberal rather than a radicalized commie in the dem party is like trying to find hen's teeth.
Dr. Franensteen: Whose brain did you give me?
Eyegor : Abby somebody.
Dr. Frankenstein: Abby somebody?
Eyegor: Abby Normal. Yes, I’m sure that’s it.
The lecture enthralled the doctor and he eagerly awaited the opportunity to question the lecturer after he finished his presentation. At the end of the lecture, the speaker agreed to field a few questions from the audience.
The doctor was able to ask him if the science behind organ transplants had advanced to the point they could consider brain transplants.
The lecturer answered quite positively that brain transplants were already possible but very very expensive.
He estimated the cost to transplant the brain of a surgeon into the average human would cost about $100,000 a pound.
The doctor asked the cost for a less lofty profession such as a lawyer. The speaker said that would still be quite costly at between $50,000 and $75,000 a pound.
The doctor lowered his sights further and asked the estimate for a corporate CEO brain. The speaker said this might be more practical at about $25,000 to $30,000 a pound.
The doctor said that was still high; what if the person seeking the transplant just wanted to become a Democrat politician.
The speaker’s face grimaced as he reveled that could easily cost over a million dollars.
The doctor asked why when all these other professions cost less. The speaker asked; do you know how many Democrats it takes to get a pound of brains?
Classic.
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