Replies

Here’s a little story of a man named John,
A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone.
It seems one night after gettin’ with the wife,
She loped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife.
(penis, that is)

Well the next thing you know there a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena’s in the car takin Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And tossed him out the car as she headed round the bend.
(picker shrubs, wheel hubs)

She sent to the cops and confessed to the attack.
And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.
They sniffied and they barked, then they pointed over there,
Too John Wayne’s Henry that was wavin’ in the air.
(By a fence, evidence)

Now Peter and John couldn’t stay apart too long,
So a dic-doc said, Hey I can fix your dong.
A needle and some thread’s just the thing you’re gonna need.
And the world held its breath ‘til they heard that Johnny peed.
(Stitched seam, straight stream)

Well, he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a cock-eyed lawyer since his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only thing they didn’t have on tape.
(Video, that is. unexposed, case closed)

9 posted on 01/31/2019 1:08:47 PM PST by tuffydoodle (God's character and moral nature are absolute, eternal, and unchanging.)

That is hysterical....
Did you write that? Just now?

13 posted on 01/31/2019 1:15:58 PM PST by NEMDF

18 posted on 01/31/2019 1:22:20 PM PST by Carriage Hill (A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)

Way funny limerick!!!

19 posted on 01/31/2019 1:23:57 PM PST by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)

“...Well the next thing you know there a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena’s in the car takin Willie for a ride....”

Okay... you owe me a keyboard and a bottle of Cocacola now...
LOL!!

29 posted on 01/31/2019 1:32:02 PM PST by NFHale (The Second Amendment - By Any Means Necessary.)

55 posted on 01/31/2019 2:21:16 PM PST by Wildbill22 ( They have us surrounded again, the poor bastards- Gen Creighton William Abrams)

That's awesome! Got the BevHill meter right and everything.

Laughing so hard tears were coming. Well done!

58 posted on 01/31/2019 2:29:03 PM PST by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."`)

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