Posted on 01/23/2019 4:21:37 AM PST by sodpoodle
Fighting for peace is an oxymoron.
The Bayou Baton Rouge , LA
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
Men' s Room Linda's Bar and Grill Chapel Hill, NC
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus Wickenburg , AZ
Make love, not war.
Hell, do both... GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom The Filling Station, Bozeman , MT
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
Revolution Books New York , New York
If pro is opposite of con, Then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom House of Representatives, Washington , DC
Express Lane:
Five beers or less.
Sign over one of the urinals Ed Debevic's, Phoenix , AZ
You're too good for him..
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA
~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom Dick's Last Resort, Dallas , TX
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
________________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die...
_____________________________
...AND MY FAVORITE
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
_____________________________
SEND THIS TO A SMART SOMEONE WHO LIKES A GOOD LAUGH
L8r
Thanks...
I think my favorite oxymoron, beyond the cliched obvious ones, is “only choice.” Followed by advertising favorite where you can save “up to and more.”
If it has t*ts, tires, or thinks like a liberal, it is going to give you trouble.
They stole my TAGLINE...
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