Big news Belly Button Chick, I got a new job.
"Great, when do we move on up to the east side?"
Ok maybe I exagerrated, but George Soros has put a bounty on the head of this supposed "bomber" and I aim to collect! I have a few supsects in mind. Commisoner Smith, bring in our first interview.
"Yarr, assume the position, Colon."
"What the hell is this Impy, I thought we were friends."
You did? Really?
"Nah, I ain't friends with no honkeys!!!"
What about your parents, the Crapernicks who adopted you?
"Hey shut about that!! I don't want Malcolm X to find out I grew up in a White bread suburb! Now what is the meaning of this? I demand a lawyer!"
Relax, Colon, you're merely a person of interest, you're free to go at any time.
"But you have me chained to this big rock!"
"That's not a rock mon cher, I had a big lunch. And it's yours to keep, a token of my esteem for you."
"Eww!! Lawyer!"
"Writer's block again? What is this garbage? Boycott!!!!!!!!"
"Don't worry Colon, I'm willing to take your case pro bono."
"Johnny Cochran! But you're dead!! Did Mel bring you back?"
"Don't be silly, I'm cartoon Johnny Cochran, from South Park, I was never alive to begin with. Don't worry, I'm a much more skilled attorney that my real life counterpart was. I've already figured out what happened, you've been framed!"
"Oh my God, it was Putin wasn't it? Collusion!!!"
"No, Colon, it was me."
"Former Commisioner Goodell! Now I'll never get the stink of loser out of the carpet!"
Just what the hell is going on? What about my bounty?
"I'm sorry Imp, there is no bounty. It was all an elaborate ruse on my part. You see I knew you would bring in Colon, as someone who constatly expells fertilizer from his mouth, he was the obvious suspect in any bomb plot."
"Why Roger, why would you do this to me?"
"I'm so sorry, Colon. I just thought I could get my life back if I put you out of the way."
"Yarg, you scurvy dog. You know how much trouble you've cause with those bombs?"
"Oh I didn't send the bombs, I just put out the fake bounty."
"OJ just texted me that's he's committed himself to helping Soros find 'the real bombers'."
1 posted on
10/25/2018 3:55:13 PM PDT by
Impy
To: Bender2; big'ol_freeper; Allegra; SevenofNine; Cletus.D.Yokel; Rummyfan; Liberty Valance; ...
NFL LIVE THREAD PINGLet me know if you want on/off the list.
Get your picks in if haven't. Thursday kickoff in an hour and a half.
My Thursday pick, Houston won't have a problem beating the Tuna.
2 posted on
10/25/2018 3:58:01 PM PDT by
Impy
(I have no virtue to signal)
To: Impy
3 posted on
10/25/2018 3:58:53 PM PDT by
Mat_Helm
To: Impy
Fish
Philly
Ravens
Pitt
KC
Duh Bears
Detroit
Bengals
Redskins
Colts and Raiders? Oof. Colts.
Rams
Cards
Saints
Pats
To: Impy
"OJ just texted me that's he's committed himself to helping Soros find 'the real bombers'."
________________
The real Bombers .........
7 posted on
10/25/2018 4:14:48 PM PDT by
a little elbow grease
(duct tape and cable ties hold more worth than pussy hats and resistance)
To: Impy
There’s an invasion force coming through Mexico, but all the Denver news can talk about is some football player who got arrested. And now fired.
8 posted on
10/25/2018 4:35:46 PM PDT by
real saxophonist
(One side has guns and training. Other side's primary concern is 'gender identity'. Who's gonna win?)
To: Impy
Houston over Miami
Philadelphia over Jacksonville
Carolina over Baltimore
Pittsburgh over Cleveland
Kansas City over Denver
Chicago over N.Y. Jets
Detroit over Seattle
Cincinnati over Tampa Bay
Washington over N.Y. Giants
Indianapolis over Oakland
L.A. Rams smash Green Bay
Arizona over San Francisco
New Orleans over Minnesota
New England over Buffalo
And Dallas won’t lose this week so it will help my averages (Snicker, snicker)
11 posted on
10/25/2018 5:03:07 PM PDT by
RedMonqey
("Those who turn their arms in for plowshares will be doing the plowing for those who didn't.")
To: Impy; All
I’m glad to see not many participants on this thread. How can y’all follow a league rife with America hating miscreants? I haven’t watched an NFL game since opening night last year. Your support of the NFL enriches people who hate you(if you’re conservative). Flame away.
To: Impy
The NFL is DEAD!
19 posted on
10/25/2018 7:18:48 PM PDT by
upchuck
(Definition of a Republican registered to vote but doesn't on Nov 6: A DEMOCRAT!)
To: Impy
Missed Thursday
Jags
Steelers
Chiefs !!
Bears
Seahawks
Bengals
Redskins
Colts
Rams
Cards
Saints
Pats
Belly Button Girl FTW
To: Impy
25 posted on
10/26/2018 2:02:11 PM PDT by
big'ol_freeper
(If your opponent is of choleric temper, irritate him. ~ Sun Tzu)
To: Impy; Bender2
Me and my offspring at World Series Game 2...
26 posted on
10/26/2018 3:39:58 PM PDT by
big'ol_freeper
(If your opponent is of choleric temper, irritate him. ~ Sun Tzu)
To: Impy
Well, getting out the old crystal ball here. Week 8 and the contenders are separating from the pretenders. Without further ado....
SUNDAY, OCT 28, 2018
Philadelphia "at" Jacksonville 9:30 am NFLN Wembley Stadium (London, UK) What has happened to Jacksonville?? It seems obvious Blake Bortles is not the answer at QB. But who else is there? Whereas the Eagles, despite last week's collapse, still have Carson Wentz and are still the defending champs. That will be enough Sunday, whether in Philly, Jacksonville, or London. Eagles.
Baltimore at Carolina 1:00 pm CBS Bank of America Stadium Ravens lost a heartbreaker last week. Never mind Justin Tucker missing his first PAT ever; where the hell was the defense in the fourth quarter? Now the Panthers and Cam Newton. You contain him for three quarters and then he breaks out in the fourth. Can the Ravens do better? I think so. Ravens.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh 1:00 pm CBS Heinz Field The heart break Browns lost another in OT... on a fifty-nine yard FG. I don't think the Steelers will have another day like they did when these two met in the season opener. Yes the Browns are better but.... Steelers.
Denver at Kansas City 1:00 pm CBS Arrowhead Stadium Denver broke their losing streak last week, but the Chiefs and Mahomes are not the Cardinals and Josh Rosen. KC goes to 7 - 1. Chiefs.
N.Y. Jets at Chicago 1:00 pm CBS Soldier Field Chicago outplayed the Pats last week. But they gave up two special teams TDs. And whereas the Jets are in that improving category along with the Browns, Chicago is... pretty good. Bears.
Seattle at Detroit 1:00 pm FOX Ford Field The Lions... maybe they are not the old sad sacks who usually found ways to lose. And the Seahawks are not the Super Bowl teams of just four years ago. Sooo.... Lions.
Tampa Bay at Cincinnati 1:00 pm FOX Paul Brown Stadium The Bengals have to rebound from the spanking the Chiefs gave them, right? Right?! Bengals.
Washington at N.Y. Giants 1:00 pm FOX MetLife Stadium The Redskins... beat the Cowboys. Beat the Panthers. Lost to Indianapolis? But this week they get the G-Men. And the G-Men are a team in total disarray, and having a fire-sale of current talent indicating they've already given up on the season. Other than Saquon Barkley and Odell Beckham, everyone is available! So the 'Skins cant possibly blow this. Redskins.
Indianapolis at Oakland 4:05 pm CBS Oakland Coliseum The only other team in as big a mess as the Giants are the Raiders. Jon Gruden is rapidly building a new team. There may have been another trade in the time I'm writing this! So yes, Indy. Colts.
Green Bay at L.A. Rams 4:25 pm FOX Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum As much as I love Aaron Rodgers and the Packers, they will just not be able to keep up with the Rams on offense. And LA has a pretty good D too! They stay undefeated. Rams.
San Francisco at Arizona 4:25 pm FOX State Farm Stadium Would it not be just like Arizona to steal a game? Will this be their second win? Nah. Even with CJ Beathard San Fran has enough. Niners.
New Orleans at Minnesota 8:20 pm NBC U.S. Bank Stadium I just cannot believe in the Vikings because of that Buffalo game back last month. How could they lose at home? To the Bills?! And now the red-hot Saints come to to town. Sorry, but I'll take Drew Brees over Kirk Cousins. Saints.
MONDAY, OCT 29, 2018
New England at Buffalo 8:15 pm ESPN New Era Field As mentioned above, the Bills did manage to beat Minnesota (and the Titans too!). But Josh Allen is hurt and neither Nathan Peterman nor Derek Anderson is capable of mounting a game to beat the Patriots. Patriots.
As for college ball, I'll take the Gators over Georgia tomorrow. And Texas over Oklahoma State.
Good luck everyone!
27 posted on
10/26/2018 4:24:33 PM PDT by
Rummyfan
(In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Support Israel.)
To: Impy
Philadelphia “at” Jacksonville: The “away” team takes it. Eagles win!
Baltimore at Carolina: Panthers win
Cleveland at Pittsburgh: Steelers win
Denver at Kansas City: Chefs win
N.Y. Jets at Chicago: Bears Win
Seattle at Detroit: Lions win
Tampa Bay at Cincinnati: Bengals win
Washington at N.Y. Giants: Redskins win
Indianapolis at Oakland: Colts win
Green Bay at L.A. Rams: Packers win
San Francisco at Arizona: 49ers win
New Orleans at Minnesota: Saints Win
New England at Buffalo: Hmmm. Lemme think. I’ll say Patriots win.
33 posted on
10/28/2018 5:34:43 AM PDT by
pepsi_junkie
(Often wrong, but never in doubt!)
To: Cletus.D.Yokel; L,TOWM; campaignPete R-CT; Blue Highway; detective
Picks Reminder, London game kicking off soon, picks for all games accepted until first score in that game, unless you take the trailing team. Missed picks do not effect your percentage. My London pick, Eagles
37 posted on
10/28/2018 6:28:53 AM PDT by
Impy
(I have no virtue to signal)
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