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Monday Mirth
Jokes Warehouse ^ | 3/31/2004 | unknown

Posted on 04/30/2018 7:07:03 AM PDT by sodpoodle

Scenario: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 45 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: shoot
When you have had enough of politics, bad news and work - go here for a break:

http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/category1.cgi?id=20

1 posted on 04/30/2018 7:07:04 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

“...with your wife and two small children...”

Texas answer: The kids flank him and everybody shoots him.


2 posted on 04/30/2018 7:18:06 AM PDT by budj (combat vet, 2nd of 3 generations)
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To: sodpoodle; All

You are carrying a Glock 45 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Conservative [my] Answer: two rounds center mass, single tap to the brain housing group...film at eleven. God Bless America!!!!


3 posted on 04/30/2018 7:54:23 AM PDT by areukiddingme1 (areukiddingme1 is a synonym for a Retired U.S. Navy Chief Petty Officer and tired of liberal BS.))
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To: sodpoodle

Well, I’m a right-thinking liberal kind of guy, and if I see that I’ve got more bullets than the poor feller I figure I ought to give him some of mine. From each according to his ability to each according to his need, know what I mean?


4 posted on 04/30/2018 8:01:38 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Billthedrill

Very good, Comrade and I recommend distributing those bullets to the proletariat at the highest possible speed!


5 posted on 04/30/2018 8:26:06 AM PDT by \/\/ayne (I regret that I have but one subscription cancellation notice to give to my local newspaper.)
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To: budj

*** “Texas answer: The kids flank him and everybody shoots him” ***

While he is bleeding out remind him that he will be missed at Midnight Basketball


6 posted on 04/30/2018 9:27:20 AM PDT by TexasTransplant (Damn the Torpedoes! Full Speed Ahead!)
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To: TexasTransplant

Brooklyn answer. One to the chest, one to the head. “Leave the gun, take the cannoli.


7 posted on 04/30/2018 3:49:19 PM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (What is a Blue City? First world cities run by third world politicians.)
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