New mind-reading machine can translate your thoughts and display them as text INSTANTLY

Daily Mail ^ | 31 March 2018 | Danyal Hussain

[blueunicorn6]

Great.

“No dear, I was only thinking about Marie Osmond because I just saw that commercial.”

[Scrambler Bob]

Finally!

We will learn what “Covfefe” means.

[Trillian]

I'll have what the dog's eating.

[dfwgator]

We men are such simple creatures, aren’t we?

[faithhopecharity]

It’s their April fools day edition at the daily mail

[BenLurkin]

So you could run faster?

[Bulwyf]

I just say what I’m thinking. A lot of folks may get offended but at least there’s no surprises heh.

[IronJack]

Hogwash. If the machine is listening, that's

H
O
G
...

[generally]

They KNEW you were going to say that!

[Tucker39]

Pure snake oil. The perfect ruse with which to finally take down our Nation. Summon a political target to appear. Subject him or her to an “examination” by the Amazing Atomic Whimmydiddle Machine, and then have the machine print out a pre-programmed screed that incriminates the target. Makes what the Soviets did to dissidents look like tiddlywinks.

[Fhios]

It’s true and it’s done automatically in an Operational loop. Operational loops differ somewhat depending upon what you’re doing. If you’re driving you’re operating in a different loop than say grocery shopping or golfing.

Don’t think about it. A healthy brain will automatically adjust your operational loops as your activity changes.

[Fresh Wind]

We men are such simple creatures, aren’t we?

Yes, and God created women to be so much smarter to keep us men in line!

[Ambrosia]

True! Have blessed Easter!

[Davy Crocket]

Me neither! They would probably lock me up!!!

[BipolarBob]

What shoe department would be able to size you? You probably wouldn’t be needing any Dr. Scholls inserts.

[Yaelle]

You need a good woman to get the taste out of your soul.

[redfreedom]

Just think of the amount of trouble the average guy to get into over that? It would be a scenario where actual thought crimes could be legislated and a person could be criminalized when in fact they actually said or did nothing.

One of my perpetual thoughts I process, say at the shopping mall, when passing by a woman is “Would I or would I not I”? I woman actually being able to figure out that nonsensical question could file sexual harassment charges.

[mairdie]

Only if your answer to your question is not flattering, I should think.

[fatima]

:)Will see lots of Hail Mary’s.

[wally_bert]

My headaches would make for interesting reading.

I can’t half think straight when one hits.