The Vikings would launch flaming arrows at their funeral boats as they drifted out with the tide (or you can place it in the earth with a lot less fanfare).
Posted on 03/29/2018 10:43:25 PM PDT by wheresmyusa
I know this might turn into an uncomfortable thread. First off, i'm in my mid-40's. I don't even really know why i'm posting this. However, i have this "pull" to construct my final resting accommodations. OK, let me flash forward a little bit...
I loved my grandfather dearly. He was a man of very few words, and a lot of hard work; he was a sharecropper. I was always in awe of him. When i was a very young man, 7-ish, he started to teach me woodworking. He taught me; he made things with his hands with me. He showed me the beauty of crafting.
Now, i am not old, but i'm halfway there if i'm lucky. I remember how crushed i was that his tools (and they were all hand tools) had just gone and faded away, and became lost somehow. Just one would satisfy me.
And then it hit me.
Why should i buy a box for myself when i can make it myself. I can do this better than anyone else. He taught me.
Flash-forward. (Before my epiphany...)
I had a conversation with my father...who i obviously love dearly. I had a moment where i was absolutely truthful. I told him, if i knew the end was coming, that i would buy a vessel and sail it into the biggest storm i could plan for; Lt. Dan style.
Want to think about me? The ocean is the best gravestone, and one needs to only go there to be with me.
My fathers reaction was excoriating. He blasted me so hard for my selfishness. How dare i, in all of my ego; deprive those who loved me a place to grieve. That was striking.
I began to think on the subject. Who better than i, to have a say in what fashion i'll be laid to rest? Why not take what i've been given, and put it all to good use? I'm not a woodworker or carpenter; but i have the skills.
Is it a morbid concept, in your opinion, to build your own box?
Drill the inside for adjustable shelves and use it for a bookcase until needed.
I’m not saying my sister is cheap, but she bought my Mom’s casket from Costco.
Something to think about: Having a burial site places many people under a guilt trip if they can’t go to your grave from time to time. I live over 500 miles from where my mom and dad are buried and feel guilty (don’t ask me why, I don’t know) whenever it’s time to place flowers on their graves and I can’t go there to do it. My husband and I are in our 80’s; that day is knocking on our door. We are going to be cremated and then placed in his family grave site...but I really like the idea of one poster saying my ashes will be spread over the same place that my husband’s will be spread. I really like that. :)
An actual grave with a head stone is sure helpful for genealogy, though.
One of my dad’s carpenters build a coffin for my old man. Brother and I thought we were going to help build it - but thank goodness he had it done by the time we got there to “help”. It was beautiful white pine. The board at the bottom was a piece of scrap from the last project they worked on before dad retired. Brother and I got to put on a couple of coats of clear finish. Put it in the back of the station wagon dad had used for so many years running around his projects. Sticking out the back end on the tailgate as we brought it to the funeral home.
I thought we should have used it for the hearse - but mom didn’t like that idea!
23 years later mom passed away. She donated her body to the local university medical program and got the free cremation. After they were all done with her (and many others) they had a memorial service for all of them, with various staff and students making nice comments.
I think it’s a beautiful idea to build your own eternal resting bed. It may be a bit of a mordid thought right now, but I could just see people admiring your work... later. Your family will be grateful when the time comes.
I have a friend who bought hers on sale. She keeps it on her front porch as a sitting place and storage. Great fun on Halloween.
You can make yours to stand upright, install slip in shelves and have an unusual book case :) You might as well read while you wait! Don’t forget the handles! Might as well add a bell (ha ha ha) Be creative, have fun. Make it a fun piece of furniture.
If you want you could be buried in a cardboard box. The secret to a good burial is to buy the best vault. People usually skimp on this. We didn’t and I’m glad. When grandma passed away, we moved grandpa from Chicago to NY so they could rest together after being separated for 35 years. When we first approached about having grandpa moved, the cemetery peeps said we would have to buy a new vault because it would be in bad shape. When he was exhumed they said we didn’t need to buy a new one. His was in perfect condition. We did go cheap on the coffin.
If God moves you to build your own, do it. If you have the ability, then do it :)
I just read your post, after posting.
Beer cooler? LOL That’s one way to check if it’s leak proof!
The Vikings would launch flaming arrows at their funeral boats as they drifted out with the tide (or you can place it in the earth with a lot less fanfare).
Every car I’ve ever owned pretty much did the same thing.
What is it about the last payment?
Kidding aside, I know your dad lives in the way you love your daughter.
Now those same remaining plots will not accommodate a modern coffin so the rest of us will have to be cremated to be with the rest of the family. On the bright side, each individual plot can accommodate two cremation urns so my late DH and I will one day share a plot.
The funeral industry is a total rip off. I bought an urn for myself to match my husband's and I paid one third of what the funeral home charged me by buying mine online (and free shipping!). I also found out after the fact that I could have worked directly with the crematorium and saved a lot of money. Funeral homes make their money off of the fact that most people are totally unprepared for death.
I never thought of building my own box for my ashes - wish I had thought of that before I lost my DH...but you don't think about those things when you are young. I think it's a great idea.
It would save about five grand on the funeral cost and add a nice touch tho.
When I go I want my casket filled with ice and beer surrounding me and for everyone paying respects to be able to grab a cold one if they want. Wife says no. Sigh.
I’ve made plans with friend the funeral director to bury me in a simple box I make myself, His only comment was don’t make it too heavy.
if you make plans for everything else in life, why not after? You should build that box if you want to. I do not think that is egotistical.
Nothing uncomfortable about it.
I like the concept of a pine box, rather than these behemoths you see at every funeral.
Well, I won’t have either of those anyway. Ashes. Burial at sea, if I can arrange it.
LOL, Ikea coffin! You know how every product has a strange name applied...I just put in a collapsible table called “Norberg”...maybe they will call the coffin product “Jord”...:)
Then, you could assemble it, and sleep in it like Queequeg!
I actually know a carpenter who DID build his own box and uses it as his coffee table. He’s also built some small coffins for people’s pets.
We buried my dad in August on a rise on the ranch that overlooks our office and shop, where he spent his life working. His is the first in what is now our family cemetery. I will be interred there after cremation. It’s far cheaper and I can’t stomach the idea of being a rotting corpse for centuries. The Bible says “Ashes to ashes” so I figure let’s get it on.
You could use it as a coffee table or as a bookshelf while you wait. There was a company that sold coffin furniture that did just that. I think they had a matching casket headboard for a bed.
If it gives you comfort now and if you think it will give your surviving family members comfort later, go for it....heck, if the act of making it gives you pleasure, go for it....enjoyment of life is for the living...
My wife periodically asks me what I would like my final arrangements to be. I tell her I wont care because I will be dead. Funerals are for benefit on the living.
You should read the poem “Reincarnation” by Wallace McRae. Easy to find online.
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