.
.
.
.
I think the U.S. Olympic skaters feel like this.
And maybe men's hockey team.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad ‘ s farm , and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating”. The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word “fascinate, not fascinating”. Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated”. The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate”. Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate” so she called on him. Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!” The teacher sat down and cried.
.
.
.
.
I think the U.S. Olympic skaters feel like this.
And maybe men's hockey team.
“... he got out 3 times to pee”
Three little ducks go into a bar......
<
“Say, what’s your name?” the bartender asked the first duck.
“Huey,” was the reply.
“How’s your day been, Huey?”
“Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?” said Huey
“Oh. That’s nice,” said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, “Hi, and what’s your name?”
“Dewey,” came the answer from duck number two.
“So how’s your day been, Dewey! ?” he asked.
“Great. Lovely day. I’ve had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?”
The bartender turned to the third duck and said,
“So, you must be Louie?”
“No,” she said batting her eyelashes,
“My name is Puddles.”
The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Honey,” she said as she pointed the guy out, “that guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago.”
Her husband says, “That’s silly, no one celebrates that much!”
Little Guido was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you? It will give you acne, rot your teeth and make you fat.”
Little Guido replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”
The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat six candy bars at a time?”
Little Guido answered, “No, he minded his own f’ng business.”
A government worker dies and goes to he::
The inducting devil directs him down a hallway along which are rooms full of raw sewage in which the damned are standing on their toes trying to keep out of their mouths.
“Oh no,” he says. “Is this how I will spend eternity?”
The inducting devil checked his clipboard. “No, it says here you worked for government. Come this way.”
He is taken to a room where the damned are only waist deep is sewage. And were holding cups of coffee.
“This might not be too bad,” he thought.
But then the supervising devil came in and ordered, “Coffee break is over. Back to standing on your heads!”
Why did the pretty girl ask the mushroom to dance? He was a fun-gi.
Colonoscopy
After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a colonoscopy in Green Bay,
I decided to have my next one carried out while visiting friends in San Francisco,
where the beautiful nurses are allegedly much more gentle and accommodating.
As I lay naked on my side on the table, the gorgeous nurse began my procedure.
“Don’t worry, at this stage of the procedure it’s quite normal to get an erection,” the nurse told me.
“I haven’t got an erection,” I replied.
“No, but I have,” replied the nurse.
Lesson: Don’t get a colonoscopy in San Francisco.
Not really in a mood for silliness.
The Left is using a mob of snotty teenagers to try and grab our guns. A bunch of major corporations and Rick Scott are caving to the gun-grabbers. Mueller keeps on indicting people and marching towards impeachment as if the Nunes FISA memo had never happened. Twitter and Facebook are making great strides in silencing Conservative speech on the web. The Catholic Church is urging the flock to call Congress and lobby on behalf of illegals.
Not much to be jovial about at present.
