Remember?

email from a friend | 01/06/2018 | unknown

[sodpoodle]

FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER  These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted!    Q.  Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?   A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!   (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)     Q.   Do female frogs croak?   A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.     Q.   If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be   A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.     Q.   True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...   A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.     Q.   You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?   A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.     Q.   According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you   think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?   A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.     Q.   Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?   A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..     Q.   What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?   A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.     Q.   As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?   A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.     Q.   Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?   A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.     Q.   Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?   A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.     Q.   In bowling, what's a perfect score?   A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.     Q.   During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?   A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.     Q.   Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?   A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.     Q.   When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?   A.  Paul Lynde: Make him bark?     Q.   If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?   A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..     Q.   According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?   A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.     Q.   Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?   A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.     Q.   Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?   A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?     Q.   Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?   A. Charley Weaver: His feet.     Q.   According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?   A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh     WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,   WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING 

[Jane Long]

Great humor. Something not produced, anymore.

[Bringbackthedraft]

I’m perfect! LOL!!!........................ Ah, but can you bake a large cherry pie to go with my early morning breakfast? Hmmmm come to think of it, I’m due for one.

[catnipman]

“I’ve wondered if the panel was given the questions ahead of time so they could write the joke.”

i wondered the same thing. i suspect they saw the questions ahead of time.

[outofsalt]

You don’t drink.
It’s true that alcohol kills people but, think of how many people have been born because of it!

[mabarker1]

Heck, nowadays it would get one a Promotion.

[Robert DeLong]

Yeah that show was very funny. 8>)

[Chode]

George Gobel... damn that was awhile ago

[dangus]

>> Noooooooo..I have an English accent. I also have great legs, no cankles, weigh 125lbs, don’t drink, like men, love my children, divorced a philanderer and have been financially independent and self-supporting my whole life. Law abiding - not even a traffic ticket. <<

You sound like I should try setting some of my single friends up with you. LOL!