Posted on 10/13/2017 6:52:22 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the partial government shutdown grinds on into its twelfth day, Americans remain deeply divided over what kind of wild animal they would most like to see Congress mauled by, according to a new poll released today.
While a majority of Americans say they would enjoy seeing Congress torn limb from limb by a ferocious bear, there is disagreement over which species of bear would be best suited for that assignment.
When asked, “What kind of bear would do the best job of savaging Congress with its fearsome paws?,” Americans gave grizzly bears the highest job-approval rating, followed by polar bears, and by black bears in a distant third.
But the poll showed that there was also strong support for the idea of Congress being set upon by a pack of rapacious animals, with rabid hyenas the first choice of many respondents, followed by feral dogs and cats.
While insatiable, bloodthirsty mammals were most often cited as the animals Americans would like to see eviscerate Congress, there was significant support for another scenario, involving Congress being consumed by a swarm of predatory insects.
Fifteen per cent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” with the statement, “Being torn limb from limb by a grizzly bear or devoured by a pack of rabid hyenas is too good for these people. They should be eaten, very slowly, by a colony of hungry fire ants. Yes, that’s it—fire ants. That would be amazing.”
“Honey Badger”
GMTA! I thought the same thing!
500 hungry shrews
Godzilla
What I’d pay to see: The Running of the Pols. Like they do in Spain with bulls. Only we have Critters and Sens chased through the streets by rhinos. Heh heh heh...
The Godzilla/Megaguiros tag team.
Given congress’ work history, they could probably be run down and devoured by a sloth.
What? Dismembered like a pre-born? We are not to think about such things. However, sinking slowly in their own mucky swamp water for as long as each one has been in office seems more just. Other than that, I’ll let God take care of them either now if they ask Him like David, or later when standing before the throne.
Insect larva from the inside out.
re: “Just silliness at the end of a TRYING week! :)” YEP! Sounds like Liberal Provocateurs trying to make CONSERVATIVES look Violent. Like Conservatives would input into a Poll like this.
Good one!
I just love the picture of Bannon saying Honey Badger don’t care and neither do I.
Wallowing Warthogs
Congress, in eternal punishment, is chained to a rock in the Caucasus, where their livers are eaten daily by a flock of crazed birds, only to be regenerated by night.
Yes, it’s an Oldie but Goodie back from the government shutdown in 2013.
Ants would be my choice. Ants, however, aren’t animals.
Graboids!
I’m praying hard for our little friends to make it to Costa Rica for the winter months, then back up here for us to enjoy! :)
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