Posted on 10/13/2017 6:52:22 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the partial government shutdown grinds on into its twelfth day, Americans remain deeply divided over what kind of wild animal they would most like to see Congress mauled by, according to a new poll released today.
While a majority of Americans say they would enjoy seeing Congress torn limb from limb by a ferocious bear, there is disagreement over which species of bear would be best suited for that assignment.
When asked, “What kind of bear would do the best job of savaging Congress with its fearsome paws?,” Americans gave grizzly bears the highest job-approval rating, followed by polar bears, and by black bears in a distant third.
But the poll showed that there was also strong support for the idea of Congress being set upon by a pack of rapacious animals, with rabid hyenas the first choice of many respondents, followed by feral dogs and cats.
While insatiable, bloodthirsty mammals were most often cited as the animals Americans would like to see eviscerate Congress, there was significant support for another scenario, involving Congress being consumed by a swarm of predatory insects.
Fifteen per cent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” with the statement, “Being torn limb from limb by a grizzly bear or devoured by a pack of rabid hyenas is too good for these people. They should be eaten, very slowly, by a colony of hungry fire ants. Yes, that’s it—fire ants. That would be amazing.”
Thank you for posting the honey badger video, I never get tired of watching it!!!!!
Don’t drain the swamp. Just throw some alligators in.
Wolverine. Not only do they do a vicious mauling, they urinate all over the carcass and stink it up real good.
Nice that he’s not attacking Trump or the Republicans ... today ... for a change ...
Dittos, Liz! Feral Hog Harvey Sweinstein, complete with bristles!
Americans remain deeply divided over what kind of wild animal they would most like to see Congress mauled by,
Rabid Chipmunk.
Yup. Do know what you mean.
I worked once for a county assesor’s office and during a time when I worked on the Board of Equalization, I heard from many middle class property owners who stated they paid their property taxes more out of a sense of fear, than a sense of duty or obligation. They felt like it was money down a rat hole.
Then you have those that expect, demand and receive welfare. Yet they value their CostCo and gym memberships more than their citizenship.
Nobody ever places any value on something given to them, something they did not have to earn.
Post of the day!
T-Rex or a pack of Velociraptors.
I say spare the animals that kind of stomach flu. How about an Iraqi solution: the wood chipper?
Definitely an Alaskan brown bear. You want the job done with one paw swipe - maim them and they’ll still manage to pass Obamacare II before succumbing. :)
An angry pack of angry taxpaying citizens - we are getting more vicious every day
LOL......and he IS wild.
Krackken
If you sicc Weinstein on the Capitol, feed him viagra and remove all the potted plants. They’d all beg for that honey badger...
Harvey’s so slovenly and unkempt.....just the sight of him is enough.
(scoff)....Harvey don’t need Viagra....from all I’ve read the guy is priapic.
PS: Put hummingbird feeders up the morning after the hurricane stopped blowing - saw 3 over the week but I think they are making the trip...despite it still getting into the upper 80s down here.
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