Posted on 09/24/2017 3:31:11 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Spend a little time with single women in their early to mid-30s, and you'll be grateful you're not one of them. The relationship scene is even more dismal today than when I was their age. All the women want serious relationships that lead to marriage, but many of the men they meet do not. All too often a woman moves in with some guy, hoping they're on the road to somewhere. Two years later, he tells her he's not ready for marriage and kids just yet. Splat.
But wait. Hasn't online dating made the mating market easier? Yes – for men. If you really want to hear a woman rant, just utter the word Tinder.
Single women are more equal and empowered than ever before. They have unparalleled sexual, reproductive and economic autonomy. In many ways, they're doing much better than the men. (Just look at the lopsided university graduation rates, which are now around 60-40). And yet, large numbers of young women admit their private lives are a sad mess.
If you're a gender studies major, stop reading here. You're going to hate what I've got to say next. I don't like it much myself.
In a nutshell, over the past few decades, the traditional relationship exchange has broken down. It used to be that men and women each had something the other really needed. Men needed access to sex. Women needed access to resources. Men couldn't get steady access to sex unless they had resources to offer, so they worked hard for them. The partnership between men and women was a grand bargain that (usually) left both sides better off.
For men, sex was traditionally expensive. The price tag was a long-term commitment to provide for a woman (and children). But today, sex is cheap. And that changes everything.
This is the premise of a bracing new book, Cheap Sex, by American sociologist Mark Regnerus. Sex got cheap because of three technological developments: the advent of the Pill, which divorced fertility from sex; the onset of mass-produced, high-quality pornography; and the arrival of online dating sites, which make it easy for men to find willing sex partners.
Sexual liberation is a fabulous thing – in some ways. But it can also turn men into louts, because women don't expect much in return for access. Today, most men can have all the sex they want for very little cost – no fancy dinner required. The irony, as Mr. Regnerus writes, is that today's mating market is probably more dominated by men's interests than ever before.
When women complain that marriageable men (sober, steady good providers) are harder to find than ever, they may well be right. The marriage rate is falling steadily, especially among the lower middle class, while long-term stable marriage is increasingly a privilege reserved for the better off.
A lot of women seem to have their act together these days. But a lot of men don't. "I think the greatest, most astonishing fact that I am aware of in social science right now is that women have been able to hear the labour market screaming out 'You need more education'… and men have not," MIT economics professor Michael Greenstone says in Cheap Sex.
What might explain this puzzling fact? Men don't have to prove themselves as providers any more. They can get all the sex they want anyway – including online porn on demand that can make the real thing feel mildly disappointing. (Ask younger women about men and porn. You'll get an earful.)
Like it or not, women have always been the gatekeepers for sex – not because they don't like sex, too, but because (no matter what you learned in gender studies) men's sex drive is innately higher. This means it's up to us to make the rules. "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" my father used to say. It drove me crazy when he said that. Now, it's dawned on me that he was right.
Since the women's cartel collapsed, women's bargaining power has seriously eroded. That's why so many single women hate Tinder, which has further commodified sex for the benefit of men. Women are just another consumer good in the shop window.
It may take a village to raise a child. But it takes a village to raise a husband, too. And modern society has largely abdicated from the job. "Good husband material doesn't occur naturally, but is instead the product (in part) of socialization, development, and social control," Mr. Regnerus writes. "[I]n the domain of sex and relationships men will act as nobly as women collectively demand."
Time to get our act together, ladies. If we don't, they won't either.
you never heard the old joke?? nearly every married guy I know whine about it...
You seek the Iron Throne?
There is truth in what you say. I’ll pile on some.
I went off the script a couple of times when dating, in that I dated a few non Christian women.
They were, compared to the other women I dated, well adjusted and had their lives put together. Were it not for the command to not be unequally yoked I’d have jumped ship on dating inside the church right then. That command of God is the only thing that held me there because the Christian women I dated were uniformly borderline personalities or straight out narcissists. They were emotionally stunted, unpleasant harridans, except for the top few women. Being more of an average man, those top women were never available to me. That’s ok, that never bothered me at all. I’m nothing if not a realist. I figured an average guy like me would seek out women in my own league as it were.
That didn’t work so well.
In general, my observation is that of the few women my age that were average desireability, they refused to give average men the time of day. They fought each other through their 20s over the small proportion of top men, because they were princesses who only deserved the very best according to mommy, daddy, and the false feminist Christ the churchians taught. Then when they reached 35 they realized they weren’t going to win that game. So they fell back to Average Joe.
Average Joe was not amused and took a pass on that shit deal. With the good days of his youth cast aside like so much trash, he saw no reason to go there.
If I had a son I would advise him against dating Christian women unless he was unusually attractive to women or scored a high paying secure job right out of school, and even then I’d counsel a lot of caution and advise being extremely picky. We would also be dispensing with the traditional “gentlemanly” behaviors as they are wasted on this generation of emotional illiterates.
If I seem bitter I, I don’t mean to. If people don’t like it...well, I hate it for them. If I had grown up in my parents generation I’d have done well, but I didn’t. Liberal social values took away the best years of my youth, and even if things changed right now, I still can’t get those experiences back.
So yes, I have every reason to be displeased with how things went. I have no moral obligation to further participate in a system designed to destroy and consume me for the convenience of others. I also have a moral obligation to warn young men of what they are about to face whether anybody likes it or not.
Rant over.
Well, there's your problem right there.
hoping
Hope is not a plan.
“Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”
Simple not profound truth: Men can get all the sex they want with no commitment, so why do they need a relationship that is likely to end in their financially losing half or more of what they have and be hated by their kids due to their being brainwashed by the mother?
Godly, single Christian men are out there, but rare. I have 3 sons to prove it: 28, 36, 41. All are “men’s men” in very good shape and very good looking.....and of course I’m totally objective...... ;-)
Thanks for that JamesP81. I always wondered what you average men were all about.
“Narcissistic Personality Disorder is now the norm among young women not the exception.”
That’s what happens when “submission” is no longer allowed in our vocabulary. Satan has truly got a hold on our nation and he did it the same way he did it in the garden.
Not looking, and won’t be.
“Guys do fine on their own. Women do not.”
Good case for polygamy. :)
I’ll smoke fish....If I can get the wife to clean them. ;)
No, never heard it. Must be a guy joke.
no. The FIRST resurrection of Rev 20.
4 Then I saw thrones, and they sat on them, and judgment was given to them. And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony of Jesus and because of the word of God, and those who had not worshiped the beast or his image, and had not received the mark on their forehead and on their hand; and they came to life and reigned with Christ for a thousand years. 5 The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were completed. This is the first resurrection. 6 Blessed and holy is the one who has a part in the first resurrection; over these the second death has no power, but they will be priests of God and of Christ and will reign with Him for a thousand years.
Great tip. Except that I’m not a lesbian. ;)
Stop already. I didn’t say she would listen but I’m still talking.
I love hearing that...Because it’s B.S.
Fact is most of these wimenz whining about men today just after the “milk” in fact raised young men that watched as mommie brought home a different guy every week finding fault in every one of them after she beds them.
Kids learn fast by example.
If it’s okay for mom to bang someone new Every week why would you expect the kid to act differently.
Answer #1: Never say never.
Alternative ending: I need to pay closer attention.
I hear ya sister. I keep telling my son to wash his own dishes. Ain't happening.
But, like Hillary (who I admire greatly and hold up as a role model), I persist.
Go bake some cookies. LOL
“I will tell my daughter to NOT live with any boyfriend. My sons too. It just doesn’t bode well.”
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Good luck with that. :-)
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LOL! I’m saying never to becoming a lesbian! Sorry to disappoint!
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