It is called breakfast. Burrrppppp!!! I put salt and pepper in my
and then it becomes one of the four basic food groups, {NO LIGHT BEER}.
Posted on 07/30/2017 5:39:15 AM PDT by sodpoodle
WARNING! - Do not shampoo in the shower!
Don't wash your hair in the shower !
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!It pertains to the shampoo that runs down your body when you shampoo in the shower.
WARNING TO US ALL!!!
Shampoo Warning!
I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,
"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME." No wonder I have been gaining weight all these years!
Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead. Its label reads,
"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved!
Always here to help;)
A guy has been very busy over the past 2 years putting his thoughts and ideas together in a book about Golf. He is very proud of the results and in order to market the publication, he is asking friends and family to be the first to own a copy. Here's the Table of Contents from the new book, "Winning Golf Strategies," which I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I've gained through my own years of experience in the game and observations of my golfing partners.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - How to properly line up your Fourth putt.
Chapter 2 - How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee.
Chapter 3 - How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in a bunker.
Chapter 4 - How to get more distance off the Shank.
Chapter 5 - When to give the Ranger the finger.
Chapter 6 - Using your shadow on the Greens to confuse your opponent.
Chapter 7 - When to implement Handicap Management.
Chapter 8 - Proper excuses for drinking beer before 9 a.m.
Chapter 9 - How to urinate behind a 4" x 4" post .. Undetected.
Chapter 10 - How to rationalize a 6 hour round.
Chapter 11 - How to find that ball that everyone else saw go in the water.
Chapter 12 - Why your spouse doesn't care that you birdied the 5th.
Chapter 13 - How to let a Foursome play through your Twosome.
Chapter 14 - How to relax when you are hitting three off the Tee.
Chapter 15 - When to suggest major swing corrections to your opponent.
Chapter 16 - God and the meaning of The Birdie-To- Bogey Putt.
Chapter 17 - When to regrip your Ball Retriever.
Chapter 18 - Use a strong grip on the Hand Wedge and Weak Slip on the Foot Wedge.
Chapter 19 - Why male golfers will pay $5.00 a beer from the Cart Girl and give her a $3 tip, but will balk at a $3.50 Beer at the 19th Hole and stiff the Bartender.
How about: Other uses for sand traps.
Boycott shampoo! Demand real poo!
It is called breakfast. Burrrppppp!!! I put salt and pepper in my
and then it becomes one of the four basic food groups, {NO LIGHT BEER}.
Liquid bread.
A man calls 911 and says, “Help me! My wife is pregnant and having contractions two minutes apart!”
911: “Is this her first child?”
Man: “No! It’s her husband!”
Ugh! This feels a Mormon commune talent contest.
Very funny;)
Yes, and I’m not even a golfer...:-)
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees the man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of her car and asks the man what’s wrong.
“I feel terrible,” he explains,”I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it.”
The blonde says, “Don’t worry.”
She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, “What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit!?”
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says...
Hair Spray — Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave.
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