Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Truth or Fiction Tuesday
various and unknown | 6/17/2017 | self

Posted on 06/13/2017 7:42:17 AM PDT by sodpoodle

The ninety three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the Doctor said, "You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs. Grier, but tell me: Do you still have intercourse?"

"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband", she said.

She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud:

"Bob, do we still have intercourse?"

There was a complete hush - you could have heard a pin drop.

Bob answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Irma, I've told you a hundred Times. What we have is...

"Blue Cross!"


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: geezers; goons
more on the way - and add your own;)
1 posted on 06/13/2017 7:42:17 AM PDT by sodpoodle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: V K Lee

From June 16, 2010
Words of wisdom from Larry the Cable Guy...
“Even after the recent Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying with bad jokes that Cajuns aren’t smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats is a genius”.


2 posted on 06/13/2017 7:44:18 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: V K Lee

Puns for Educated Minds

1.
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired
his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan
island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a
whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber-band pistol was
confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math
disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be
stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited
for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result
in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a
tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are
looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
banana.


3 posted on 06/13/2017 7:46:49 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats
were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay
here; I’ll go on a head.’

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting
bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center
said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped
from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived
mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward
poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In
feudalism it’s your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a
missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the
bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

21. A vulture carrying two dead
raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry,
sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

22. Two fish swim into a
concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, ‘Dam!’

23. Two Eskimos
sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly
it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it
too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The
other says, ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

25.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His
goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten
puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in ten did.
****


4 posted on 06/13/2017 7:48:14 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

“I see” said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.


5 posted on 06/13/2017 7:50:52 AM PDT by doug from upland (Hey, traitor Democrats. I have a tree. I'm sure another FReeper has a rope.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

I see this as going from bad to verse!


6 posted on 06/13/2017 8:45:14 AM PDT by SES1066 (Happiness is a depressed Washington, DC housing market!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Thanx for the laugh.


7 posted on 06/13/2017 11:00:07 AM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah so shall it be again,")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson