Posted on 03/31/2017 2:29:49 PM PDT by nickcarraway
With thousands of American military members and personnel in the Wiesbaden community, there is certainly a market for foreign singles looking to settle in. And that's where matchmaker Jessica Dreyer steps in. When Wiesbaden native Jessica Dreyer started working at the US Army Europe headquarters in her hometown, she noticed an interesting phenomenon. At work, her American male colleagues were eager to find out if she had any single, German friends that they could meet. And in her personal life, her female German friends inquired about the potential availability of any of her US army co-workers.
“I thought, ‘I could make a business out of this’,” Dreyer tells The Local.
And so she did last summer, launching her matchmaking service under the name “US Love Wiesbaden”.
Business started to really boom after a few months when local media noticed the novel dating firm, and now she receives on average 60 to 80 new inquiries from Germans and Americans combined each week.
While she gets calls and emails from all kinds of people, including men seeking men and women seeking women, Dreyer says her biggest client base is German women seeking US military men and vice versa.
This, she says, is simply because of the numbers: The US Army counts 3,100 soldiers, 3,900 American civilian workers, and 1,100 retirees as part of its Wiesbaden Garrison. And around 85 percent of military personnel are male.
For a city that has a long history with the American military, such pairings between American soldiers and German women are also perhaps not so uncommon. Wiesbaden was captured by US forces in March of 1945 during the Second World War, and remained under American occupation after the war’s end. Troops have been present in the Wiesbaden area ever since.
Even beloved American superstar Elvis Presley spent some time stationed near Wiesbaden - a fact which the city proudly boasts about online - and made sure to carve his and wife Priscilla's initials into a Wiesbaden tree.
Plus, Dreyer also works with clients in nearby Kaiserslautern, where tens of thousands more American armed forces and government affiliates live in the largest US military community abroad.
But even though Germans and Americans have long lived with one another in the area, stereotypes on both sides persist, which perhaps drives some of the mutual interest.
“A lot of German women want to meet an American because they say they like the culture, the way of life, the music, being in the USA and the way they think American men are… They find a man in the US armed forces very attractive,” Dreyer explains.
“The way American men look and act, they seem very friendly and like they will be good partners because they are easy going. They think German men are not so easy going in life, and are too picky with things.”
And Dreyer’s American male clients sometimes have just as many preconceived notions of German women - including quite romantic ones.
“American men say they like the women here, they’re taller on average and seem a little more natural. A lot of American men say they love the idea of an international romance. They might like the accent, or the different heritage.”
Dreyer also makes it clear that she’s not doing this to help arrange marriages for legal purposes, like gaining citizenship. And for the most part, neither are her clients.
“To the people who say they just want to meet and marry [for citizenship], I say I’m not a marriage agency. This is about dating and relationships, not about getting a green card or something.”
To set up the matches, Dreyer meets with prospective clients in person to get a sense of who they are, as well as to ask them what they’re looking for in a mate. Her customers tend to be aged 35 and up, which she attributes to the fact that older singles are looking for more discreet and direct ways of meeting someone than dating apps with online profiles.
Dreyer charges men €189 for their first match - €50 more than she charges women, who she says she charges less because they generally earn less than the men. Fees for subsequent matches are then the same: €95.
An important factor in the matchmaking though, is that the German will almost always have to speak English: her American clients rarely speak German well enough to have a conversation, if they speak it at all.
“Most Americans don’t speak German well, but most Germans speak solid English… but if they say they don’t speak English, I have to tell them to consider how they think they can have a relationship with an American this way.”
But when it comes to dating norms, Dreyer says there aren’t the same barriers. Germans and Americans tend to have similar views on courtship, such as questioning who should pay on the first date. Just as in the US, in Germany the answer to this depends on the individuals, Dreyer says.
One thing that is a bit different is the question of marriage. Still, given that her business kicked off less than a year ago, Dreyer hasn’t had any couples get to this point yet.
“Americans expect marriage to come sooner. In Germany we tend to wait years before getting married. We want to make sure we have the right person on hand.”
I’m OK. You’re OK. - I’ve simply had a fairly rough
relationship with the German sister-in-law for over forty
years. She started in on me from the get-go to establish
with ALL involved that I was NOT OK (in spades). It didn’t
help that my father had fought the Nazis in WWII. - Her
dad was also a soldier forced to fight by Hitler & he was
also taken prisoner by the Russians & came out of it
scarred by the experience. - There was no way the ordinary
German soldier could know what Hitler was up to about many
things, including exterminating the Jews. - Daddy’s outfit
went into one of the camps in Germany. He said they had
mostly abandoned the camps before they had managed to
burn a line of dead “undesirables” that was an eighth of
a mile long and ten feet high solid. A sight like that
will mess with the mind of any normal person for a long
time. When the Americans hit the shores of Italy, they
began getting bits of information about Hitler’s
“extermination” activities. They began fighting as hard as
they could to get to them. So, he was a little bit
prepared for what he found when he got there; but who can
ever fathom such inhumanity?
I often go to a website that was done by a man from
Cornuda, Italy. There is a picture of my dad on that site
escorting German prisoners. They are relaxed and relieved.
The Russians hadn’t captured them, & for them, the war
was over! - I get mad all over again at Hitler every time
I see that film & those photos. All the German soldiers in
that area were wearing CLOTH hats instead of the steel
helmets that Daddy & the Americans were given for
protection for their heads. - In one photo, a dead German
soldier lies on the sidewalk, his boots removed and placed
beside his body. (Someone had enough care for the dead that
they did not steal his boots, rather they left him with
his boots removed because Americans do not believe it is
right for anyone to have to die with their boots on.)
No. I don’t know of ANY German who is a “piece of
worthless trash”. Nor did I say that. It’s just that I
do not intend to spend what bit of time I have left
living next door to my SIL (regardless of my husband’s
hero worship of his younger brother). An hour away is
close enough & convenient when or if help is needed. I’m
sure also that SHE could tell you what a bitch I am.
Nothing wrong with kraut. I keep jars of kraut all the time
and we eat it. It has beneficial probiotics IF it is the
real fermented kind. My grandmother used to can it for her
family to have with various meats - pork roasts, etc.
The Japanese were ruthless. Truman knew that IF their
homeland were invaded, even the women, children & elderly
would attack with any weapon they had at hand and that it
was going to take a huge WOLLOP upside the head to get their
attention. - So, Truman had the guts to use what he had only
just learned about us having - in order to SAVE ALLIED LIVES
in the absolute SLAUGHTER that an invasion of Japan would
visit upon them. Our cousin was on a ship headed for an
invasion of Japan when the bomb was dropped. His
commander had lined them up and told them to look to their
right and to their left; that every TWO out of THREE of
them would be killed by ordinary Japanese in that
invasion. - They were well on their way when the bomb was
dropped. They reversed course and breathed a sigh of
relief for the reprieve. - My father would have, as a
hardened combat veteran, had to go to Japan eventually.
That was well before I was born. Truman may well have also
taken the responsibility of saving my life as well.
That was a hard time. :o(
Du hast gluck bei den frauen!
You sister-in-law should wonder why it is Germany was beaten in two world wars.
After my sister died my BIL was in the diplomatic service in Germany for a few years. He couldn’t stand German women. He said they were cold and haughty. He finally met my SIL who is Irish like us.
Yeah. I imagine that rankles her. She did finally become a
citizen; but I don’t know whether she has dual
citizenship or not. Wouldn’t be surprised. My dad met her
father once; and he was very cordial to him. He didn’t
resent the regular soldiers; just the Nazi officers. -
What he suffered in that war & what he witnessed has made
me real skeptical about “leaders”. I like Trump. Voted for
him against Hitler-y Clinton & Burnbutt Slanders both.
I used to not “like” Trump, but he grows on me over time.
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