Posted on 03/17/2017 12:30:57 AM PDT by American72
Our older son is finally moving out next week. He is 23 and has worked for our small business throughout his young adult life, but hadn't been able to find full time work that would pay enough to live on his own. He did pay rent while living here after college.
The problem is that he has completely rejected our family values. I guess he was indoctrinated in college unfortunately. This was a kid that went with us to the original Bush rallies during the recount and was proud to be American, and even wrote a paper on my great great grandfather who was a Civil War veteran (Confederate).
He and I got into it last year after I caught him trying to indoctrinate my 13 year old about Bernie Sanders. I told him he could believe whatever he wanted but he would not push his views on his sister.
Later on he became a Hillary supporter and wrote blogs about how "horrified" he was about Trump. He wrote a blog recently called "Why Liberals Lose" and it basically said that liberals know they are smarter than conservatives, and they just have to learn how to convey their message better so that conservatives will understand it. WTH.
We rarely talk anymore outside of general pleasantries. It is upsetting to know he finds his Dad and I stupid and "intolerant." He said we haven't had anything good to say about Democrats in his lifetime. It's hard to have good things to say about them when their values and behaviors are completely 180 form what we believe.
The sad thing is, he is a big Christian. He was raised Lutheran, but has decided to convert to Eastern Orthodoxy. I honestly don't understand any of that, but I am staying out of it.
He rejects anything we say to him anymore. He is moving 800 miles away, and I'm sad to think this is it, and this is how this phase of our parenting is ending. I can pray he sees the light as he gets out in the real world.
Have any of you dealt with this? And if so, any advice or words of wisdom?
I feel like a failure here, and I'm sure I'll hear from some how I royally screwed up. I'm just praying there is hope for the future.
Reality of work, taxes and PC bull crap are about to hit him in the face. Don’t worry by the time he is thirty he will be to the right of Attila the Hun.
Now that he’s moved out and has to pay taxes and other bills, I think he will slowly learn. At home, its just not the same, you have a 100% guarantee on the roof staying over your head.
Living at home with parents after college is like an extension of college in a way... no big responsibility, a little work to help pay some bills, but otherwise its very easy and comfortable because you have two great people taking care of lots of things... cleaning, keeping the fridge stocked etc. If he was sick for a week, no big deal, no danger of eviction or losing his job.
Anyway, now that he has a job working for strangers, he has his feet to the fire every day. He has rent and bills to pay. He may start noticing taxes! Maybe the tax conversation is a good conversation topic that isn’t too political once in a while.
Over the next few months, I think people will realize Trump isn’t a bad guy. If you do have any political conversation opportunities, focus on Trump’s anti war stance and compare that to the last administration. Talk about how the DNC literally fixed the primaries for Bernie to lose. Point out some fake news stories where the media actually manipulated audio, video to alter a story. People hat being lied to no matter who they voted for.. hope that helps!
He sounds like is well behind the curve age wise with respect to thinking y’all are idiots. Keep it pleasant and get some distance between yourselves, he may grow up yet.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Wait until he starts paying taxes and his tune may change.
he’ll be fine. He’s got a job to go to, he not drinking/drugging himself into a coma. Sometimes we have to let them figure it out on their own.
Just “keep the door open” for a relationship. If he does screw up, he may need you to talk to. and if he moves that far away, he’ll miss you. Maybe not right away (sweet freedom!!!) but he will miss you.
I was very different than my older siblings and I am sure my mom was worried about the road I would take.
Good Luck!
Bingo.
Prayers for you from Arkansas!
If he apologized about the political comments he made to you and your friend, that is a really good sign.
I understand how you feel. I have a nephew who is in college now for political science, and he has turned into a extreme liberal. But when he was 14 or so, at Thanksgiving dinner, the subject came up about the American flag, when to fly it, etc, and he said “The American flag is a symbol of oppression, there is no reason to celebrate it” or something along those lines, and I remember just staring at him in disbelief, then said “How can you say that? How? Your grandfather served his whole life under that flag, and was buried under it. How can you say that?”
I was dumbstruck. I know he was just a kid then, and now an adult, but that is how he has gone. I can’t even go over to my brother’s house now, it brings me that much pain.
Granted, his whole family are full in liberals, but I never thought they were the anti-American variety. But at least one is,and he wants to go into politics.
Bears repeating.
It is well to keep in mind "they" think "we" are the evil ones.
My parents are huge liberals, and now they’re dealing with my having voted for Trump. But I am always respectful of their views, and we are very close, with our relationship being far more focused on the well-being of my son than politics.
My advice would be to do everything you can to separate your political differences from your relationship. He’s young still, and it’s quite likely that he’ll eventually come back to what he was taught in his youth. At that point, any distance that came between you as a result of politics will seem silly and unnecessary.
Where is he moving? Does he have a full-time job? My brother-in-law was a raving Marxist until he got a good job, took a gander at what was taken out of his paycheck by the government, and is now a raving Conservative. It does happen! And it happens more than you know. Former liberals are often embarrassed by their past.
YOU paid to have him indoctrinated against YOUR values. People should be choosing a college that will teach their children what THEY believe. Look at Hillsdale College as an example...and there are many others. “School Choice”? For the paying parent this should be key to THEIR selection for the college education THEY pay for for THEIR children.
Sometimes, you need to boil things to their essence to see the essence, and his video's do that. Great, just great stuff, to use as primers on a wide variety of important subjects.
(The link below is to the video section, because I think that is the best part of the website!)
Granted, his whole family are full in liberals, but I never thought they were the anti-American variety. But at least one is,and he wants to go into politics.
____________________
Someday the teachers and college teachers of this country are going to have to answer for what they have done to the children.
You are walking my journey....somewhat.
My two oldest daughters are unapologetic liberals (the younger has always followed the lead of the older) who were Hillary supporters, subscribe to the NYT, listen to NPR, did the women’s walk etc... It is the realm they live in and I just have to love them despite it. I finally had to have a frank discussion with one of them about how the love of family vastly outweighs our political views. Once those words were spoken, our relationship improved immensely. Any discussion we have about politics (which are few) are cordial and respectful. We all became better about focusing on what we had in common and I just have to pray that they break loose from the hold that has gripped them.
What is even more heartbreaking for me is that they also walked away from the faith that is so central to my being. That is much more personal — I feel that the core of my existence is rejected and disregarded. I’m tearing up just writing that sentence — definitely hits a tender spot!
But I’ve turned them over to the Lord and I’m beginning to see glimmers of hope around the edges with them. Not about politics, but about Jesus. And I’m so, so grateful to Him for not giving up. And neither will I.
Agreed. I can’t express how much pain this causes me.
The steady leftward progression of the teaching profession since the early 1960’s is and underappreciated aspect of the deterioration of values in our country, IMO.
“Our older son is finally moving out next week. “
Here’s the problem. It’s easy to be a hard-core liberal when someone else is supporting you.
This happens all the time. Unfortunately, someone has to take the high ground in these situations, and it’s usually the conservative of the two. My brother and I have been best friends for life. He’s 2 years older and I always looked up to him.
We were raised in the same loving traditional household. Played the same sports, had the same friends, etc. We both earned 4-year ROTC scholarships and went to conservative-type colleges (him Holy Cross, me Norwich). He was an officer in the USMC for 5 years. I was an Army officer for 23 years. We’re both married with 3 boys each.
He is as a screaming Bernie Sanders leftist. Full-on Trump is Hitler etc. I just don’t get it. He is an engineer project manager for a big defense contractor. We just can’t talk politics. Have to avoid it during all family meetings. We agree on only 2 topics - guns and Abortion. We’re both pro-life and pro gun. I know that causes him problems in his crew of leftists, so at least there’s that.
Bottom line, I will always love him and want to hang out with him, but we have both quietly agreed to not try and convert one another. Just wash your hands of it and take the high ground.
My heart goes out to you.
There are so many challenges in our increasingly coarse and divided culture.
Time and patience, trust in God.
I once enjoyed spending time with my niece, and now she is so anti-Trump pro Bernie; at can’t enjoy her company just a Christmas!
Much is cleaving around us....
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.