You disagree about raising your kids to be respectful?
How can you douche on this guy trying to be a good dad in spite of the situation?
My ex is a great Mother and I never bad mouth her to our son, but Birthday presents?...This guy isn’t over it. I know...been there done that!
I think he is absolutely correct. On the downside the ex probably tells the kids what a scumbag this good man is.
quote “and a gift over for the kids to give her and helped them make her breakfast”
that is the key part.
He brought gifts over for his “kids” to give their mom. The fact that he isn’t married to the woman anymore is irrelevant. I buy my kids presents to give to other people all the time, nearly none of which I am married too. This is just part of parenting.
why do we know or care about this?
I think you’re supposed to raise your kids properly, and really that starts with staying married.
"Raise good men. Raise strong women. Please. The world needs them.
What part don't you get?
I think he’s being a great example for his sons. It would be better if they could work out their differences and fix what was wrong with their marriage, but if that’s not possible, at least act like adults.
I think that treating his former spouse respectfully and even in a friendly manner is probably a good thing.
But I think he’s going overboard. His behavior isn’t just a baseline respectfulness or a “respectfulness plus.” It’s elevating his ex-wife to a status she doesn’t deserve.
He can treat her respectfully and be a good role model for his sons and not provide this level of respect and attention.
I think this kind of level of care should be reserved for the special woman in his life: either another wife or a long-term, committed girlfriend.
He actually isn’t setting a strong example for his sons, but rather a weak example. A new woman in his life will see this behavior and likely become alienated, figuring he isn’t over his ex-wife and is trying to win her back. No woman wants to be involved in that situation (and rightfully so).
His sons won’t learn distinguishing roles and standards of care can be justifiably different for different people in life.
This kind of behavior is weak. Even if he isn’t honest about it with himself, he comes across as weak, supplicating, and trying to impress his ex-wife and show her that he, not the new guy she’s with, is the better man.
He’s not the better man. Behavior like this makes it very clear to the average woman, even if some men try to convince themselves otherwise.
Colloquially, he’s a complete cuck.
bkmk
I agree with the man in the article. No one here can judge his relationship with his "ex" but overall, maintaining respect and decency is extremely important in front of children. Even if one party is extreme or unreasonable - even the smallest children will respect calmness and rationality over anger and recrimination. Children crave discipline, and they crave stability. Divorce is a big hit to that. Nothing screws up kids more is seeing anger, pettiness and everything that comes from, coming from the two most important adults in their life.
My wife and I have a good marriage. We may disagree, but we both promote self-discipline and peace. My kids' friends (and I know their families) are drawn to our house and we hear a lot of comments they make: "I wish my parents got along like yours." or my favorite: "your parents work as a team - you can't get away with anything!"
I see nothing wrong with this. I would typically have my daughter over the Christmas holidays and we would take nice vacations. I always made sure she “bought” special gifts of those locations for her mother and her step father.
For instance when we were in Palm Springs I would pick out a golf trinket from one of the fancy country clubs for her step dad.
I also made sure she called her mother and her grand parents.
I think he’s totally right. Too many people try to win divorces, you can’t, the best you can do is survive them. I know a couple that have been split longer than they were married and are still constantly at each other’s throats, not good for the kid or them. Much better to understand that since they had kids they’ll never be truly quit of each other, keep it civil, keep it supportive, and enjoy watching their kids grow up. He’s in a position where they’ll both be able to enjoy their kids’ graduations and weddings and children, much better than having their kids dread their parents turning their big events into war zones.
“I could not more strongly disagree with this guy. But what say you? “
Maybe just to have a good reason for his fingerprints to still be all over the house...
...or not.
Guys, every “news” article is really propaganda. We need to consider the source: a fake news organization and a woman author that published this drivel. Their message with this article is telling men it is ok to be d-bags and go make breakfast for the woman that divorced them.
Been there, done that.
I agree with him. My boys, now men, benefitted tremendously.
I think it’s strange that the guy is welcome to show up at the ex’s house and help cook breakfast, but they couldn’t work out their differences and stay married. Also, he got up early and brought flowers as a gift “from the kids”?
I might take the kids shopping and help them pick out cards and gifts for them to give (probably not flowers), but I definitely wouldn’t be at the house cooking breakfast.
It would be interesting to know what the divorce about. If it was all on her (either she just wanted out or she didn’t behave in a manner compatible with marriage), then he needs to model not being a doormat. If it was all on him, he should have thought about modeling good behavior for the kids a bit earlier.
It’s called emotional maturity.
But showing up and making breakfast and buying gifts for your ex-wife is a little over the top.