Sincerely,
Men
Posted on 12/06/2016 11:08:19 AM PST by conservative98
DEAR man on the street,
I’m writing to ask for your help.
As a female runner, I am constantly aware of my safety when I’m out on an evening run. What is behind me? Do I hear anything strange? Why is that man running towards me? What is making those bushes rustle?
And I am always home before dark.
Author Margaret Atwood said, “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.”
You may think that’s hyperbole, but I promise you, it’s not. Every woman I know has been in a situation at least once in their life when they thought their life was actually in danger.
Can you imagine that?
When we go out running, we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable situation. We’re out of our comfort zone, and often on our own.
While the stories of rape and murder are the ones that gain the most media attention, we’re aware that it’s unlikely to happen to us. Unlikely, but always possible.
What we’re more like to encounter, though, is sexual harassment: catcalls, leering, suggestive comments and gesticulations … the list goes on.
What that harassment does is remind us that we are forever vulnerable. That we can never feel truly safe.
A recent study conducted by Runner’s World found that a whopping 43 per cent of women sometimes experience harassment on the street when they run. That’s in contrast to the 4 per cent of men who experienced the same.
The problem with harassment is that it isn’t just lighthearted banter — and it’s certainly not a compliment. (Has a call of ‘nice tits’ ever been the start of a great love story?) Harassment is all about power, and letting us know we’re in that man’s space.
Why am I telling you this? Because as a man, you fall into one of two categories:
1. You’re a genuinely nice guy who needs to be more aware of this problem
2. You’re a man who makes women feel unsafe when she’s running in public (shame on you!).
Either way, the fact that women feel unsafe when they’re out running in public is directly attributable to men. Victorian teen Masa Vukotic was murdered while out on a regular evening walk. She was in a park, in daylight, only a 500 metres from her home when she was killed. Source: Facebook
So why are all the articles and safety tips aimed at women? Why are we gathering safety groups to run with, running with personal alarms, and cutting our runs short so we’re not out after dark?
Why aren’t we asking men to fix what they broke?
I know, I know it’s #notallmen, but the thing is, it’s some men. Runner’s World reported that it was men in 94 per cent of cases where women felt threatened. And there are enough men out there contributing to this problem to make most women at least wary when they go running by themselves.
The problem is that women can’t tell the difference between those problem men and the genuinely nice guys.
If you’re one of the good guys, you probably don’t think of yourself as intimidating but your presence in certain circumstances can make a woman feel unnerved. If you don’t believe me, ask the women you know. Like many other women in Australia, Masa Vukotic regularly exercised in a local park But being alone she was vulnerable, and she was killed here at Koonung Creek Linear Park, in Doncaster, Melbourne. Picture: Chad Van Estrop
The good news is you’re in a great position to help us to feel more safe when we’re out running. Here’s what you can do:
• Don’t run directly behind us at the same pace. Either overtake or fall behind.
• When you’re overtaking us, say something like, ‘Passing on your left’. And then pass quickly.
• Don’t hang around running trails or paths wearing a hoodie and doing nothing in particular.
• Smile and/or wave as you run past us — we like feeling like we’re part of a community. But ignoring us works fine too, if that’s your thing.
• Don’t stop and chat. Mid-run is no place to strike up a new friendship.
• Keep eye contact to a minimum. Anything longer than two seconds is creepy.
• If you see a woman who could be being harassed, stop and ask if she needs help. At worst, you’re wrong and you feel a little sheepish. At best, you could stop something terrible from happening.
• Tell us if you’ve seen something threatening ahead. Are the lights under the bridge out? We love to know stuff like that.
• If a woman is wearing headphones, and you absolutely must approach her for some reason, do it from the front.
• Don’t ask us for help if your car or bike has broken down. Find someone else.
• Give us a wide berth when you’re passing and share the footpath. Even better, step off to the side. You already have global domination; you can give us a bit of concrete.
• There is no reason to gesticulate towards your crotch. Don’t even scratch yourself until you’ve passed us.
• Don’t spit anywhere near us please.
• If you have a female partner or friend who runs, ask her if she’d like some company.
As for the smaller set of men, who have contributed to this feeling of being unsafe for women everywhere, I have a special set of requests for you:
• Stop leering.
• Stop commenting on our bodies.
• Stop catcalling.
• Stop propositioning us.
• Stop groping us.
• Stop flashing us.
• Stop raping us.
• Stop murdering us.
So please, share the responsibility for making women feel safe, and make the streets a fun place to run again.
Her rules for running are absurd - don’t hold the same speed, either pass or fall behind. When I was a runner, my pace on training runs was calculated. I didn’t really take notice of whomever I was ahead of or behind. If I was going to run at a 9:30 pace, then that is what I would run.
If that were to make her uncomfortable because I was behind her, she would have plenty of opportunity to speed up and pull away from me or slow down and let me pass. It wasn’t my fault that she felt uncomfortable.
Fortunately, I did most of my running on a very quiet road, away from most everybody. There were seldom other people around me so I didn’t worry about striking fear into an insecure snowflake.
Ladies, the key is to: Jog With A Dog
Preferably a large beast. You’ll be fine. You can thank me later, and you don’t need a man for that...
This is stupid. Good men don’t need these recommendations, and bad men... well, they won’t listen because they WANT to be hanging out on a trail wearing a dark hoodie. They WANT to scare you, rape you, whatever. So a polite essay in the media will not reach the creepy homeless guy who thinks he is allowed to touch you.
Yeah, I’d love to open or concealed carry legally. That would really help.
I used to run with a male Rhodesian Ridgeback and often also with a female Greyhound. I was very careful and aware of my surroundings. Now I use a treadmill. It’s not as much fun, but it is much safer.
More than once I had men in cars ask me for directions. I never stopped. As soon as I could I would take a few turns and head back home as fast as I could run. Yes, I was afraid, even with my RR male.
The truth is most men who are out for a run don’t want to rape her. They don’t want to grope her. They don’t want to interrupt her and strike up a conversation. They really aren’t paying much attention to her at all.
They just want to finish their workout and get on with their day.
Good point - I think every man I know has actually been in at least one situation where their life was actually in real danger. Forget the just "thinking" part. I don't need to "imagine" the experience, I can remember all of them quite vividly.
Sincerely,
Men
I hate to be catty-but could she have found a more garish shade of lipstick for that photo-it is a terrible color-meow!
Unless a bullet from a repeat proven stalker has already left his gun headed in your direction, you can’t get a CC in California. :(
I try to avoid situations where I am uncomfortable. Based on her article, dealing with her would make me uncomfortable. A ski machine works for me.
Well, I wasn’t precise.
What I really meant was that if in a situation, I would attempt to provide physical assistance if needed...not make her feel safe.
As you rightly stated, we generally CAN’T do that, it is personal responsibility.
For me, the biggest concern was usually if I'd survive the next 3 miles or not. :)
The world is a much more dangerous for all of us, thanks to the lack of regard for others prevalent in recent years-I’m a woman-I’m fortunate enough to live where good ol’ boys still respect women-like I said, I carry when I hike-mostly because of animal predators in the woods-but even with my gun I would not hike in even a ladeda neighborhood in the city...
I would NEVER go running at night. She’s kind of an idiot.
Sadly, I know a young woman who was raped, beaten, and kidnapped while running this time last year. She survived. The creep was caught and is now spending the remainder of his sorry life behind bars due to a record.
I might have been skeptical of this article in the past. I’m not now. This lady is trying for good advice, but here’s the best advice. Don’t run without a partner and pledge to remain within feet of each other while running. Next, butt pack and concealed carry license for each runner. That is a tough security ring that is hard to beat.
I agree, she starts out giving reasonable advice, and then takes a sudden left turn into Feminist whackoland.
Not denying for one second that brutal rapes and crimes
have actually occurred.
I walk on a fairly secluded path in Fairmount Park in Philadelphia. I'm armed to the teeth, even in daylight. I am passed multiple times daily by women in clothes that wouldn't hide a bobby pin, let alone a weapon. I don't get it.
Our first family dog was a Ridgeback. We were in love with him but he was too territorial. Had to be quarantined twice and finally we had to get rid of him. Remodeling workers could bring ANY materials into the yard but if they took one brick or board AWAY from our house he flipped out. Bit one worker, then bit a friend visiting who spanked his daughter when she got too close to the barbecue. Dog let that man have it, bit him on his back. We returned him to the breeder. But he was our first dog and we loved him.
I’d love to carry but I don’t want to get arrested. Bravo for you!
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