USC and Laz's BIG ADVENTURE (Civil War reenactments and FULL AUTO SHOOTING)

7/18/2016 | commentary by usconservative. HTML and hosting by Laz

[Lazamataz]

This narrative details the wonderful events that occurred sometime late June, 2016, when usconservative and Lazamataz finally met.

Many very interesting pictures of Civil War recreations and movies of us firing full-auto and other weapons at the range are at the bottom of this post, after the narrative.

usconservative’s version:
Our story starts all the way back in 1998 when USC joined Free Republic during the Clinton Impeachment hearings and discovered a group of (then) like-minded Constitutional Conservatives who loved life, liberty and the American way.

In 1999, our hero Lazamataz joins Free Republic and, well, things on FR would never be the same again.

It was somewhere in late 1999 or early 2000 when USC and Laz ran across each other on Free Republic and the friendship began. Despite living a mere 9 miles apart in the People's Socialist RepuliK of Illinois for a brief period of time, our two hero's would never meet. Oh they'd converse on Free Republic and act like a couple of clowns on hundreds, nay, thousands of threads over the years -- but grab a burger when they were a mere 9 miles apart? NAH! Too easy!

It wouldn't be until early June of this year that USC and Laz would start planning their epic (and I mean EPIC!) meeting in Atlanta GA!

What prompted this epic (and I really mean E.P.I.C.) meeting of two of Free Republic's most Constitution Loving, Second Amendment Celebrating, First Amendment Warring, "Small-Government-Less-Tax-More-Freedom-God-Bless-America" Loving Patriots? It was USC's youngest son who's love of all things marine life prompted a father-son road trip from the Murder Capital of the United States, Chicago IL to none other than the Georgia Aquarium, the #1 aquarium in the United States located in Atlanta GA.

The planning for the Laz & USC meetup began in earnest in early June when USC let Laz know he was coming to Atlanta.

"So, have you ever fired a weapon on full auto?" Laz asked USC. No, USC hadn't. "Well brother, we're going to have a full throttle celebration of the Second Amendment when you get here!" And so the planning began. Days passed, plans were made and finally the day arrived to hit the road.

Not wanting to trust his 14 year old gas guzzling SUV that gets a whopping 17mpg, USC did the "smart" thing and rented something more fuel efficient, a 2015 Kia Optima Turbo. Armed with a full tank of gas and a range of 630 highway miles, USC and his youngest son hit the road on the morning of Wednesday, June 22nd and headed for Atlanta. As the sun was setting, USC and son drove through the mountains between Nashville and Chattanooga Tennessee and saw some of the most beautiful scenery they'd ever seen. By that evening, they were in Chattanooga Tennessee high atop Lookout Mountain.

Thursday morning USC watched the sun come up over the mountain and pondered the meaning of life watching God's creation wake to a new day. Inspiring beyond belief. That day, USC and his son would explore Lookout Mountain, visit Ruby Falls (a waterfall 1,200 feet underground) and do a ziplining adventure in blistering 97 degree heat. One might think that at 53 years old, USC would be smarter than to go ziplining and do several ziplining obstacle courses but NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO! Goaded on by his 17 year old son (who is in much better physical condition mind you..) USC "stupidly" accepted the challenge from his youngest (and favorite) son to do a several hours long series of not one, but TWO zipline obstacle courses in the blisteringly humid Tennessee heat.

Now, for those of you who actually know USC you know he's had four major lower back surgeries and as a result of them doesn't feel his feet anymore. Now, that alone may cause an ordinary, intelligent human being to stop and think "is this really a smart thing for me to do?" Those same people would answer "HELL NO IT'S NOT!" but not USC. We'll spare you the details of the grueling courses complete with crossing high-wires 30 feet above ground, traversing suspended log obstacles, rope bridges and more. What we will tell you is that somehow by the grace of Almighty God, USC kept up with his son and completed both zipline obstacle courses in just over two hours. Not bad old man! Most rewardingly, USC received a big hug from his son who knowing how challenging an effort it was for him, said he was proud of him.

Following a brief celebration, a sweat drenched USC and son hopped into the Kia Optima Turbo rental and headed for Atlanta. Now, those of you who may have seen USC drive know he likes to go FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST. Fortunately, he was in the South where speed limits aren't really limits, they're just "recommendations" and everyone (and I mean EVERYONE!) drives at least 20mph over the posted speed limit.

Shouts of "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" were heard from that Kia Optima Turbo as traffic moved along at 85-90mph between Chattanooga and Atlanta making the last leg of the "Journey to Laz" as it became known a short one.

Finally arriving in Atlanta around 7pm the evening of June 23rd, USC called Laz to let him know he'd arrived. Looking out the window of his suite in the Atlanta Hilton, USC noticed a "gentleman's club" and mentioned that to Laz to which he replied "that's my Atlanta!" After making plans to connect the following day (Friday) USC and son sought out food in downtown Atlanta and were very impressed with the cleanliness of the city and the number of food choices available.

The morning of Friday, June 24th brought much anticipation. The combination of visiting the Georgia Aquarium and seeing Laz made for an action packed day. USC and son visited the Georgia Aquarium in the morning. Having visited other aquariums across the country including the famed John G. Shedd Aquarium in Chicago, USC and his son agreed that the Georgia Aquarium is in fact the #1 aquarium in the country! While it's only ten years old, the educational programs, dolphin program, array of marine life and the largest aquarium in the WORLD housing four full-sized adult Whale Sharks and thousands of other species, the Georgia Aquarium is the gold standard by which all other aquariums across the country should be judged. All of you Georgia Freepers who said this was a "must see" were absolutely right. USC and his soon took over 600 digital photo's of their visit including the Whale Sharks, Saw Nose Sharks, Leopard Sharks, Nurse Sharks, and more marine life than USC's son (a budding Jacques Cousteau) could name.

After having some lunch, USC and his son finally (FINALLY!!!!!) met up with Laz at his palatial estate just outside of Atlanta GA. Ever the gracious host, Laz gave them a tour of his estate and introduced him to his two feline companions. Then the fun began! "Are you ready to celebrate the Second Amendment?" he asked and was met with an enthusiastic "YES!" from USC's son. Now, we cannot give you the details however suffice it to say that one specific weapon caught USC's son's eye and he couldn't wait to fire it. He knew all about the weapon including its name and the fact that it was the "Zombie Apocalypse" version.

Folks, again I cannot provide you the details of what the weapons were from Laz's cache, but the smell of testosterone was in the air as our hero's packed their weapons and headed to Quickshot Shooting Range in Buckhead, GA.

Upon arrival at Quickshot, their new friend Al hooked them up with range time, an MP5 and G36 with plenty of ammo to celebrate the Second Amendment in a way that would make our Founding Fathers proud!

Now, most people don't know this but Laz is quite the experienced weapons expert. The first weapon all three men would fire was the Saiga 12 Gauge Zombie Apocalypse shotgun. Laz provided instruction to USC and his son and the firing commenced! What a fun weapon to fire! Of all the weapons fired that evening (and there were more than we can name here....) this happened to be USC's son's favorite. Maybe it was because it's just a really fun weapon to fire, or maybe because it was SO LOUD that the two people on both sides of the lane they were firing in both stopped and said "what the f**k is that?!" which brought out roars of laughter from USC and Laz.

Other notable weapons fired that evening were a Ruger 44 magnum, S&W 626 .38spl revolver and what appeared to be the worlds smallest .22LR pistol that could only be held between two fingers.

After a few hours and thousands of rounds of ammunition, it was time for the full throttle celebration: bring on the MP5! Our new friend Al from Quickshot gave us all some quick instruction and then it was time to fire. "Just tap the trigger a few times" to get the feel of the weapon was all it took. First up was USC's son who has plenty of experience firing his dad's weapons and he took to the MP5 like a fish does to water. After a few quick taps it was time to switch to full auto. With a firm grip and a solid hold into his shoulder he let loose! BBBBRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP!!! Magazine empty and a target with the bullseye shredded completely out, USC, his son and Laz all let loose with uproarious laughter!

USC went next and did the same: target acquired and destroyed! Once again the three laughed from their bellies and loved it. Finally our gracious host Laz took his first turn with the MP5 and expertly took the bullseye out of the target at approximately 75 feet. Again, the three laughed with joy and were loving the entire experience.

A few more rounds with the MP5 and it was time to move up to the G36. Folks, if you think an MP5 going BBBBBBRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPP!!!! is loud, it's a firecracker compared to the G36's thunder!

Our friend Al at Quickshot broke out the Heckler and Koch G36 and again, some quick instruction. USC's son (ok, you want to know his name already so it's Kevin) went first. Again Kevin expertly took out the bullseye at 75 feet with the G36. When he fired that G36 everyone on the range STOPPED!! Folks, when I tell you that G36 is one HELL of a weapon I'm serious. When the magazine was empty, Kevin turned around and looked at USC and Laz with a HUGE grin on his face. The biggest grin USC had ever seen. Belly laughter ensued for several minutes as Al checked the weapon and set it up for Laz to fire. Once again, Laz the expert marksman took out the bullseye at 75 feet with the tightest pattern of the evening.

Then it was USC's first turn with the G36. Still laughing from Kevin and Laz's turns (and feeling a particular sense of pride in his youngest son) USC finally steeled himself and tapped a few rounds with the G36 to get a sense of the recoil. Switching to full auto he let it rip: BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! Magazine empty, he put the weapon down facing downrange before doubling over with laughter. "This is the most fun I think I've ever had!" he was heard saying as he struggled for air and tears rolled down his cheeks as he laughed so hard.

Each of our hero's spent more time firing the G36 with similar results: bullseye's blown out at 75 feet and belly laughs so hard they doubled over!

Our time at Quickshot came to an end after several hours and thousands of rounds of ammunition spent. By God my friends, when Laz said they'd all have a full throttle celebration of the Second Amendment he meant it!

Hungry, our three amigo's headed out for some food. Laz knew just the place and off they went for a feast of Korean/Thai food. During dinner the discourse covered everything from this year’s election, the repeated Constitutional crises that the Republican GOP-E have left unanswered these last seven and a half years and when (not if) the second American Revolution might actually start and what each other's role in it would be. It was a serious and deep discussion (especially for these two!) During the discussion, USC's son (again, his name is Kevin and he's a really great young man!) remained quiet and attentive as his old man and newest friend Laz prattled on about getting too old to be useful in the revolution. It should be noted that Laz's recommendation for dining this fine evening was a most excellent one! The man knows where to find really great food at a really reasonable price. Makes one wonder: why isn't this guy making a living writing restaurant recommendations? Laz knows good food!

The evening came to a close with plans to get together on Saturday morning, before USC and Kevin would begin their journey back home to the socialist hell-hole called Illinois.

Saturday morning came too quickly as USC and Kevin packed up and left their Presidential Suite at the Downtown Atlanta Hilton and made their way back to Laz's palatial estate. Saying hello to the kitties, the three were off to a quick breakfast at one of Atlanta's fine dining establishments (only the best for our three amigo's!) and then it was off to Kennesaw Mountain National Battlefield Park to see one of the Civil War's greatest battlegrounds. Now if you know our friend Laz's luck, that Saturday would just so happen to be the very day that a re-enactment would take place! USC, Kevin and Laz would arrive just in time to see the firing of each of the Civil War's different battle cannon's on the battlefield at Kennesaw!

This was re-enactment in full civil war era garb which meant heavy wool uniforms, caps and footwear on a 90 plus degree day with 90 plus percent humidity. Still, those performing the re-enactment were flawless! As the firing of the battle cannons concluded we were able to take pictures of them and the volunteers who did the re-enactment. Our kind and gracious host Laz spoke with several of the volunteer coordinators and made arrangements to learn how to volunteer himself for next years re-enactment. That Laz is really a volunteering-caring-giving kinda guy!

The day was capped off by visiting some Kennesaw "Local Color", namely, a fellow by the name of "Wildman". His shop specializes in Civil War memoriabilia, and even more impressively, genuine Civil War arms, uniforms, and sabers. He's an unrepentant Confederate Army supporter, and... uncomfortably... quite a bit of an old school racist. Still, he's local color, and it was fun to see all the real Civil War arms and militaria!

With the re-enactment concluded and the afternoon approaching, USC, Kevin and Laz would make their way back to Laz's palatial estate and prepare to say their good-bye's. Upon arriving at Laz's estate the three spent some time recalling their time together and the great fun they had. For USC, going full-auto was the highlight of the trip. Kevin was torn between his visit to the Atlanta Aquarium (which he still talks about) and firing Laz's Saiga 12 gauge Zombie Apocalypse shotgun. We still don't know what Laz's favorite moment was, perhaps he'll elaborate on that himself. Perhaps he enjoyed being one of the most kind and gracious hosts that USC and Kevin had the pleasure of being with. Maybe, just maybe it was watching USC double-over in laughter after firing the G36. Or maybe it was the sheer joy of sharing time together celebrating the Second Amendment with two fellow Constitution loving patriots such as USC and his son Kevin.

In any case, their time together came to an end. USC and Kevin vowed to return to Atlanta to "do it again" as they began their journey back home to Illinois in their rented Kia Optima Turbo. A vehicle that USC reports is a "fine vehicle" capable of sustaining 85+ mph speeds the entire way home.

Yeah, he's a leadfoot and once a leadfoot, always a leadfoot!

(Personal note from USC to Laz: Yes, you are my brother from another mother and I love you like family bro!)

Peace to all who read this, we hope you enjoyed our recounting our time together as much as we had spending it.

Lazamataz’s version:
huuhuhuhuhhhuhuhuhuhhh that was cool.

PICTURES

Kevin with the Saiga	Kevin shooting the Saiga	Laz drooling and getting ready to fire the H&K G36 Full Auto	At Kennesaw National Battle Park. YANKEE SCUM!!!	At Kennesaw National Battle Park. YANKEES!!!!
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Poor Yankee Soldier got his legs clean blown off.	More Yankees! DAMN THEM	Ah! Finally! Johnny Reb at his base camp!	Rebel Artilley Demonstration	Look at those smartly equipped, at attention Rebels!
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Preparing to fire!	Sighting the 12 pounders!	About to fire!	Close up of a 12-lb artillery piece. This is the cast iron version.	When we tried to take one of the artillery pieces home, Johnny Reb showed up.
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Here's a Danger-Angle version of one of the brass pieces.	This is a limber, which carries ammunition and makes an artillery piece easier to move	Side view of one of the brass pieces.	Laz lookin cool.	usconservative and his son Kevin lookin cool.
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Where we were.	Kevin outside of Wildman's Shop	Wildman has some genuine Civil war arms for sale.	Wildman has certain .....viewpoints..... he expresses in his decor. This is a geniune KKK hood from the post-civil-war era.	Here's Wildman. He's a wild man.
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Some more of Wildman's authentic Civil War arms for sale.	Wildman again	We had to wait for a while for Wildman to open up his shop. He's in his 80's, you have to be patient.
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MOVIES

Kennesaw Battle Park Artillery Demonstration 1

Kennesaw Battle Park Artillery Demonstration 2

That Ruger .44 is accurate as heck. Laz is on it.

Kevin on the Ruger .44 mag

Kevin on the Ruger .44 mag again

Its an EETSY BEETSY little .22 short NAA microrevolver.

Kevin masters the Saiga 12 shotgun

Laz BLAZES THIS BAD PUPPY, the Saiga 12.

FULL AUTO! usconservative on the MP5 in SLOW MOTION

FULL AUTO! usconservative on the HK G36!

FULL AUTO! Kevin on the MP5!

FULL AUTO! Kevin on the G36!

FULL AUTO! Laz on the MP5 slow motion.

FULL AUTO! Laz on the MP5 again, slow motion

SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST

Our new best friend, Al, who helped us with the full auto

[Lazamataz]

:)

[Lazamataz]

Ya’ll oughta come to Atlanta. I can squeeze alla y’all on my couch for sleeping, then in the daytime, we can have this sort of fun. :)

[Navy Patriot]

WOW! Great fun!

[Lazamataz]

Check out the movies and photos. They really capture the fun!

[Lazamataz]

The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing Ping List
344 Satisfied Customers!™

Check out the movies and photos, they totally capture the awesome time we had.

Original graphic by TheOatmeal

[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

Laz, you rock. ROFL.

[Lazamataz]

Come to Atlanta and I will show YOU this kind of good time. :)

[ClearCase_guy]

Full auto would have made a big difference at Antietam. And maybe one or two other battles in the ACW. ;)

[Lazamataz]

Full auto would have made a big difference at Antietam

I wish I could have made that sort of difference. :)

[Navy Patriot]

Yes, I’m already fighting an unbearable urge to pick up all the brass ....arrrrgh!

[jsanders2001]

Man I didn’t know you had the good toys, Laz. The Saiga 12 is one of my favorite shotguns. And you had a G36 and MP5? Those are handy little tools used by counter-terrorism units. Not shabby...lol. Sounds like you are ready for the zombie apocalypse...lol. Seems like there’s a lot of people arming up getting ready for ISIS and their supporters right now.

[Lazamataz]

the SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST video is hilarious. At the end I do a Groucho Marx eyebrow thing, and cackle uproarously.

[Viking2002]

Nice shot of you leaning on the cannon. That's some big.....cannonballs you got. I also live down here in the West Point area and recognize you. Ya cut me off on the Connector once, ya bastich.

[ConservativeMind]

It looks like you hit it, then hit it again and again!

[Lazamataz]

Oh I do not own a G36 or an MP5, those are rentals at the machine gun range (which is less than 2 miles from where I live and hit the women).

No comment on whether or not I own a Saiga 12 in Zombie Apocalypse Green Kushnapup Bullpup, nossir, no comment at all.

[Calvinist_Dark_Lord]

i hope you do realise that Guns of the South was Alternate History, LOL.

[AFreeBird]

Um, just how big is your couch, Laz?

[KC Burke]

Great post guys.

[Lazamataz]

Nice shot of you leaning on the cannon. That's some big.....cannonballs you got.

No one can deny, I am a handsome cuss.

I also live down here in the West Point area and recognize you. Ya cut me off on the Connector once, ya bastich.

Yeah, I remember, but luckily that day I had a brass 12 pounder lashed to my hood, loaded with cannister shot. I saw you wisely put away your SIG. LOL