Posted on 06/06/2016 7:29:13 PM PDT by usconservative
For those of you who read This Post on the original thread with the same title I wanted you all to know that I received a number of emails asking how I was.
Well, I left. I felt like I had no choice. Nothing was going to change no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to salvage my marriage -- it was over. Repentance and humbling myself before the Lord didn't matter. The marriage was over long ago, I'd just refused to accept it or I was blind to that fact.
Lol. That's a GOOD one, disgusting, but GOOD.
Grief! I am so sorry for your loss. For what it is worth, take some time to breathe. If you need companionship, get a dog. They are a helluva lot more loyal than your ex would seem to be. Yes, I am a woman and I say this with all seriousness: some women today are just down-right money-grubbing, greedy b*tches. Best of luck. I will keep you in my prayers.
Life is too short. You did the right thing. She got half but did she ever work? Or were you the sole bread winner?
Back when polio a was problem people could be mostly cured. Only to have it come back in their later years. This reminds me of your ex-wife.
A humorous(maybe)statement I heard a long time ago: “If you think you have to marry a woman, then find one you really hate AND then buy her a house.”
Its the wife who files for divorce in about two-thirds of divorce cases, at least among couples who have children. The most remarked reason for doing so was “there was no longer any love in the marriage”.
I remember a song by Tina Turner. What’s love got to do with it?
Love is in the eye of the beholder. Some people can’t stay in “horny teenage passionate love” forever. What about respectful love, or growing old together love? We in America have a TV and movie warped idea about love anyway, that just isn’t real—or healthy.
My divorce has made me a cynic. I don’t hate women, but I can’t see I’d ever want to chance marriage again.
“And I’ve been with her for 30 years. 36 if you count the time we were dating. That’s 36 years of my life that I spent 100% dedicated to this woman, willing to DIE for her, that I won’t get back.”
Warning signs:
Six years of dating - dating someone who could not develop any close relationships you say - and you married her anyway?
You say she is 52. You’ve been with her for 36 years. That means you started dating when she was 16. Most teenage romance don’t blossom into good marriages these days.
I feel sorry for you, your wife, and you kids. I DO NOT MEAN THAT IS SOME SORT OF PATRONIZING WAY. I genuinely hate to see marriages fail.
I am fortunate to have a very decent marriage to a good woman that is approaching 30 years. But I don't take it for granted. As a man, I realize that at any time, I could return from work to find myself locked out of my house with a restraining order served on me. Not that I would ever harm my wife but I understand that under our legal system, she has the power to lodge an unsubstantiated charge against me for no reason whatsoever and the courts will take her side. She can call a lawyer tomorrow and have a court order against me in hours - no questions asked. And my MIL, who never liked me, would encourage her and give her advice (she was divorced and knows all the ropes). I know men who had this very thing happen to them with no warning whatsoever. The woman decided she "wasn't happy" or she "needed a change" or she needed to "think things through." The woman has all the power and the man must abide by the courts who will invariably rule in her favor.
The upside for men is that we tend to bounce back quickly from these setbacks and start life anew. My observation is that ex-husbands are almost always happier then ex-wives over the long run.
Good luck and keep us posted. I never saw the original thread but I bookmarked it to read later.
“Seems they have a playbook they all use.”
They start teaching it in Home Ec. Didn’t you know that?
What a shallow loser perspective is reflected in that post.
I wish you all the best. I will pray for you.
Happy wife is not happy life. Man is head of the house. He’s to love his wife as Christ himself loves the church. However, most women think it’s great to wear the pants or try to rule the roost. That’s not the way God intended.
I did not even have to get married. The wicked witch I was dating found on an internet search engine a name similar to mine who was a member of Aryan Nation, Christian Identity, and a big time child molester. She was convinced that I was him, or that was her act. Complete berserko.
I refused to even date after that.
I was betrayed by an unfaithful woman my first marriage that ended 26 years ago July. It has taken me this long to financially recover wholly from that debacle. I was lucky and found a loving patient woman five years later but that marriage ended in tragedy in 2001. Since then from age 47 to 63 I haven’t found another woman that is honest and not a gold digger. I am looking forward to retiring and selling out and moving to an area to a log cabin home of around 1000 square feet on a mountain near a trout bearing river. I don’t hate women, I just cannot trust them. Unfortunately the few women I have chosen to date since her loss possess pure evil and I have quit dating altogether. My last date was three years ago. My dog gives me comfort.
I’d been wondering how you’d been getting on of late, mate. Sorry to hear that things have not improved.
Just remember that there are many of us out here who understand completely what you are going through and wish you all the best. Wish it could have turned out better, of course, but take heart that those of us who have gone through what you are now experiencing will be the first to tell you that there are much better days to come.
Remember some of what I related to you about what My ex- had done in regards to she and I, and know that you are doing the right thing in not attempting to make things worse by making it a war, but better because you are attempting to find a way to simply walk away.
My last one ripped what I used to believe in to shreds, but I am doing much better now and quite content with things as they now come to pass.
If I were there with you, rest assured we would be spending many days drinking beer, barbequeing, watching action flicks and introducing each other to many new friends and acquaintances. S’truth!
Give it some time. You will be amazed at how much acceptance of your new freedom will come to mean to you. :)]]
Cheers!
Over 25 years I handled about 15 +- agreed divorces a year, where both parties sign a settlement agreement at the get-go.
I followed up with quite a few of the guys, and they were, for the most part, much happier. Life’s too short to be miserable.
On this subject, I know Stephen King can be an incredibly annoying PITA, but you might check out his short story, ‘Lunch At The Gotham Cafe’ from his collection of short stories ‘Everything’s Eventual’.
Why are divorces so expensive? (Mine weren’t.)
Because they’re worth it. Good luck.
Last words for young bucks with assets: premarital agreement. And a post-marital agreement is better than nothing.
“it takes two to tangle and it takes two to detangle....”
Do you mean ‘it takes two to TANGO’?
At any rate, numerous conversations in bars over the years has satisfied me that many times it takes only one partner to mess up the marriage and/or allow it to die.
You and I have had similar experiences then, mate. Mine told Me that if he did not have such a strong belief in God, I had a very good chance of having My head taken off with a shotgun.
I took the hint and never went near him or spoke to him again.
No great loss.
Family court in the us is set up to maximize animosity between spouses. They make 50 billion a year off divorces.
Ifyou have some time wstch the documentary “Divorce Corp” and see just what a sham family court is and the tremendous conflixt ofinterest s that exist unchecked between judges and attorneys and law firms and court appointed “experts”.
You will be utterly sick.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.