"Lizzie Warren" - to the tune of "Lizzie Borden" (Twitter War Parody)

Vanity | 5/10/2016 | self

[zencycler]

"Lizzie Warren" To the Tune of Lizzie Borden as performed by The Chad Mitcell Trio here:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-b5HyuDM9c

Yesterday in Massachussets, they took Lizzie aside
Since they needed her on Twitter, defending Clinton's pride
So Lizzen Warren started tweeting like she had an axe to grind
Don't worry, she's not Weiner, so no pics of her behind

‘Cause you can’t tweet your privates up in Massachusetts
Not even if it’s planned as a surprise
No, you can’t tweet your privates up in Massachusetts
You know how neighbors love to criticize

She sat down on her sofa and for some courage poured some booze
Because a twitter war with Donald is not a thing you want to lose
And she knew she'd get hit back about her Fauxcohonotos claim
So she sharpened up her axe and came up with the word "lame"

‘Cause you can’t tweet your privates up in Massachusetts
Not even to help you win a twitter war
No, you can’t tweet your privates up in Massachusetts
You just know you'll wind up being called a whore

Now, it wasn’t done for pleasure and it wasn’t done for spite
And it wasn’t done because Clintons thought that Lizzie was so bright
But seeing voters turning out for Bernie, she wished that she had run as well
So when they offered her the twitter war, she just said "What the hell"

‘Cause you can’t tweet your privates up in Massachusetts
And then get dressed and go out for a walk
No, you can’t tweet your privates up in Massachusetts
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York

‘Cause you can’t tweet your privates up in Massachusetts
Shut you eyes, this is so wrong, here comes Lizzie with a brand new thong
You can’t tweet your privates up in Massachusetts
Those tribal feathers, I hear tell, were to cover up her ne're do well
You can’t tweet your privates up in Massachusetts
Jump like a fish, jump like stag, hurry up 'cause you'll need a vomit bag
You can’t tweet your privates up in Massachusetts
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York

[elcid1970]

“Lizzie Warren took an axe, and....”

Somebody finish...?

[zencycler]

“Lizzie Warren took an axe, and....”
Somebody finish...?

---

Looked for 40 ways to levy a tax
And when the job was nicely done
She proposed tax bill number 41

[elcid1970]

Well...I was thinking like,

“Lizzie Warren took an axe,
“And gave our Hillary forty whacks.
“And when she saw what she had done,
“Gave Joe Biden forty one.”

More along those lines.

;^)

[Luke21]

If they nominate her for veep, we should all do the Tomahawk Chop.

[elcid1970]

Lieawatha’s ancestors were involved with the Cherokees, all right. They were with Andy Jackson’s militias rounding up the Cherokees and sending them into the Trail of Tears.

Obama’s ancestors were slaveowners. How ironic in either case.

[Prov1322]

Lieawatha’s ancestors were involved with the Cherokees, all right. They were with Andy Jackson’s militias rounding up the Cherokees and sending them into the Trail of Tears.

Elizabeth Warren Ancestor Rounded Up Cherokees For Trail of Tears