Posted on 04/14/2016 12:27:24 PM PDT by metmom
Parents of grown children, please sit down. I have some harsh news for you. Your kids don't want your stuff. Don't take it personally. It's not that they don't love you. They don't love your furniture.
The china hutch, the collectible figurines, your antique map or thimble collection, the sideboard, all those family treasures may hold many precious moments for you, but for your kids, not so much.
Ouch. Yes, I know you think you're being generous. Yes, I know you paid good money for these things. Yes, I know kids can seem unappreciative. Yes, I know it was part of your family's history. And, yes, I know it still contains some useful life. I also know that deep down, you believe your kids will change their minds.
That is pure fantasy.
(Excerpt) Read more at nola.com ...
That’s good because I sold it all twice and haven’t replaced the last sell off yet. :) long story. Kid has his own house and stuff anyway. I do still have his elementary school artwork though. Dear to my heart but believe me, it’ll be trashed when I’m gone. LOL
Nonsense. My kids wish they had half the stuff I have. ;-)
My mom left a huge box full of pictures. She had received all my grandmothers pics when she passed. I had 2 aunts still alive so when they came out for her funeral they stayed with me. I had them go through and take all they wanted. When I die they’ll probably all go in the trash. My daughter or nephew isn’t the least bit interested.
I knew there was a reason I took my guns on that Boat trip
Begs the question, maybe worth it’s own thread ... what IS a Good Asset to have that can be passed down?
**** “When I die they’ll probably all go in the trash. My daughter or nephew isn’t the least bit interested”****
I had some of the same concerns over a similar situation ... then my Middle Daughter became an Anthropologist ... she is getting all the Good Stuff!
(Prized Possession is the Pantry Door ... with all the lines and dates over 15 years of kid’s heights and the Graffiti involved when they got to be taller than their Mom)
Sorry, but going through my mom's stuff after she passed I found a box of my kindergarten scribbles. I'm 47 years old. They meant absolutely nothing to me. I threw them in the trash.
Well I don’t feel bad about my daughter. I’m not very sentimental either. It’s all just stuff. I could probably carry everything I really really wanted to keep out of our house in my car.
Yes. As I said we had boxes of photos and old albums. The old stuff we went through with her and she remembered almost everything in her last week.
Other boxes and boxes of photos from trips and family stuff. Saved a few of the good ones just as a memory of their travels, saved decent ones of aunts and uncles and cousins to mail off, but pitched most of them that were newer than the 70’s.
I was volunteering at a yard sale last year, organizing, sorting, pricing, etc. when another volunteer said her daughter didn’t want any of her stuff, not her good china, nothing... all I could say was “I wouldn’t let her have it!” I’d sooner give it to Goodwill.
I am happy to report that my 30-somethings treasure family heirlooms. Even my sons are thankful for and appreciate granny’s or great-granny’s china and silver.
Scan the photos...get rid of the frames, and if you want box all pictures up and store....just make sure you ID who people in pics are!!!
No apologies necessary! I’m into art and always thought his was wonderful. He is more of an architect but it’s there! :)
When my mom died we all met at her home and each simply took whatever met something to them. Amazingly it really was all small stuff for the most part..... I was surprised about that.
Then we had a cleaning crew come in to spruce things up and sold the property ‘furnished’ and all. It worked well for us.
I myself downsized years ago and could not be happier I did so. Moved many times in my life so got use to starting over again . Learned to “hold on things lightly” for that. I will be at my current address almost ten years now...the longest ever I’ve been in one place! But I think there’s one more move coming down the road a bit....before the ultimate move to glory!
I went to Poplar Forest a couple of years ago. Wonderful place, but the restoration is far from finished. If you don’t want what I presume may be a fireback, maybe they would want to acquire it.
I was given quite a bit when I was in my early twenties, and life pared it down a bit. Not til I was settled in my home in my early thirties did I begin to cherish and collect my family heirlooms.
To be fair, I did feel bad about throwing them away. They were my drawings!
Then my brother said something that made sense. "Don't worry about it. Those were her memories, not yours."
The hardest are the photographs, particularly framed family photos. We don’t really want to take them but we don’t feel right throwing them out either. My brother put his foot down about it though. Either take it or he’s tossing it. We all grew up in clutter in a home packed floor to ceiling with stuff and none of us want to relive this.
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I took the framed photos out of their frames, and put them n a photo album with name of each and date approx.
I think sometimes you have to tell relatives that it’s OK to sell or throw away your stuff. I have 1 child. I’ve told him that, other than a few things that I’d like him to keep, he shouldn’t feel guilty about getting rid of the rest.
Meanwhile, I am also throwing or giving things away so that if I downsize, there won’t be a lot of crap for me to go through.
My own elderly mother is hundreds of miles away. I don’t want her big, heavy, outdated furniture. A few pieces of silverware or pottery, yes, but most of the stuff can go.
I figured that played into it as well.
I’ve been giving away a lot of stuff to the daughter, granddaughter and my cousins daughters. Jewelry, quilts my grandmother and mother made, etc. I’ve found no one wants furniture and other stuff. Too much of a burden to deal with. I hope it’s all gone by the time I am. Of course I’ve told daughter I’m spending every dime. If it’s still here all she gets is the house. Lol
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