Posted on 04/14/2016 12:27:24 PM PDT by metmom
Parents of grown children, please sit down. I have some harsh news for you. Your kids don't want your stuff. Don't take it personally. It's not that they don't love you. They don't love your furniture.
The china hutch, the collectible figurines, your antique map or thimble collection, the sideboard, all those family treasures may hold many precious moments for you, but for your kids, not so much.
Ouch. Yes, I know you think you're being generous. Yes, I know you paid good money for these things. Yes, I know kids can seem unappreciative. Yes, I know it was part of your family's history. And, yes, I know it still contains some useful life. I also know that deep down, you believe your kids will change their minds.
That is pure fantasy.
(Excerpt) Read more at nola.com ...
You make an excellent point. It’s up to older generations to give those heirlooms meaning, attaching knowledge about their heritage to the artifacts.
Plus all the homes built after the war had a Picture Window to show off all yer Stuff.
Now ya have to hide it or gate it or lock it up cause people like Sanders and Clinton instill the mind set its all of ours
Good points.
Also, this conversation reminds me of watching “Antiques Roadshow.” My wife and I have the “cash or keep?” quiz with the different heirlooms. And since the show has been on for a while, it is interesting to see how things have gained or lost value over time.
Do an auction.
Uh huh. They do want what is in the gun safe and the machine shop in the basement. Parents, accumulate good stuff, not junk.
It’s funny though, when I found a stack of Confederate money, they all wanted that. I gave them each one bill, and the rest to antique friend to sell.
My wife and I are having the same discussion. She squirreled away all kinds of stuff from when the kids were small and after 35 years we are finally realizing they will never want any of this stuff. Of course I had the same experience when my parents died. My brother and I simply tossed almost all of the stuff my Mother had kept. I have a few family heirlooms and am condensing all the old photos and family histories into a single flash drive that I will give each of my kids. Maybe the grandkids might be interested someday, but I doubt they will ever want to see photos of old family vacations etc.
Uh. . son can just list the place with a real estate agency
or else get an auctioneer to auction it off and all the
incidental stuff with it. Turn it into $$$$$ which is more
portable. All in a day that way.
Kids have no concept of priceless. Your mom’s stuff was priceless.
Agreed - priceless - but we couldn’t keep all of it. And it was a real shame as that old stuff is so good quality. It was that shiny black makeup table that I regret. It was about five feet long with big mirrors, higher on both ends with drawers and a flat top in the center to sit at. And matching end tables. All of it had glass over the tops so the wood was all perfect after 70+ years. Gold paint inlaid.
And the matching seat with beautiful arcing legs and scrolled wood at the top on each side. I recall as a boy my mom sitting there to get prettied up and me pestering her about something as she sat there.
We kept a bunch though.
The desk she bought my dad in 1941.
The oak library table that she had growing up and did her homework on in the 20’s. That sits in our living room.
Reel-to-reel home films going back to the 40’s
Tea-cups and saucers that my dad would bring back after going out of town for hunting or fishing. “I think he did it as a sort of peace offering. But he was always so good about buying me little presents. All the dates are written on the bottom. The one’s in the spring are for fishing, fall for hunting”
A nice glass cabinet to store them in along with other plates and mementos - all with a story on a piece of paper. Usually from a vacation or an overseas relative.
And the vase she bought with her first paycheck. “I remember I would see it in the window - oh how I loved it. I got paid $25, but the vase was $50. But upon closer inspection I could see that a tiny piece of a flower petal was chipped. I showed that to the manager and he said I could have it for the $25!”
The vase isn’t the greatest looking - but it is the story that makes it cool. As with all of the stuff. My daughter is amazed that the embroidered chair was made by her great-grandmother. “Well, not the wood honey...”
Sorry for the trip down memory lane!
I won’t leave anything for my kids. They don’t want it. Mine don’t even want to know their ancestry. How ‘bout yours?
We’re leaving a lot to animal rescue, too.
Depends on what stuff you are talking about. Suspect the Mercedes SUV, 40ft Motor Home, 19ft boat, and a few other things will gladly be accepted.
I had to clean out my parents house two years ago 95% went to goodwill and the land fill.
Best thing I ever did .... Took my parents old 8 mm films, edited them, had a company put them to music, and put on a DVD! It turned out beyond my wildest dreams ... Gave a copy to anyone that was in them as a Christmas gift. Mom & Dad are gone now, so how much more precious this keepsake is, you can only imagine!
The Ties That Bind ~
Talk about an irreplaceable Family Heirloom! Money and time well spent!
We drove by a new storage place today. I told my wife “Anyone who needs to pay a monthly fee to store stuff has too much stuff.”
Hey metmom:
My wife and I were just discussing whether or not to rent some storage, so this article comes in handy.
I think you are right. They don’t want it.
I am thinking about hitting up their friends and then maybe their facebook contacts.
HOW TRUE THIS IS.
I feel so guilty turning it all down. My dad just passed last month and I am turning down a lot of stuff as they pare down mom’s stuff. She is so funny. She saved little figurines from Germany that Dad collected for her, and she claimed they were worth a ton of money. I so very much did not want them. I do not like chotchkes. So we looked on EBay to find that even the “rarest” would only fetch a couple hundred $, most were worth $30 or so.
Just because I felt sooooo bad, I took a simple cake or dessert stand. And got home and piled some homemade chocolate chip marshmallow treats on it. Hey, that looks good. Then the kids ate the treats, and I realized the dang huge thing was going to take up huge residence in a cabinet, killing the space. Sigh.
Less is more.
Hear, hear. My parents just put it off, thinking life would last forever, then both got Alzheimers. Definitely everyone should keep their possessions pared, and go through boxes of stuff with your grown kids and purge.
Spending time with your kids looking through the treasures IS the fun part. Thereafter, let them take anything they really want, and save only a small sample to enjoy in your old age, and dump the rest.
For instance, if you have a box of photos, look through and put aside the ones that really make you smile. Have them made into a book on shutterfly, my publisher, etc, online. Then you can just leave that book on your shelf for easy access to your favorite photos for the duration of your life. Make a few books if you want. My dad enjoyed the photo books we made, even when his Alzheimers was growing severe.
Yep. Same here. Gave away some and the rest was just hauled off. I think it’s so sad that someone’s life boils down to that.
I’ve been cleaning out stuff and hauling it to Goodwill. I started giving jewelry to the daughter and granddaughter at birthdays and Christmas. My cousins daughter was here visiting and I gave her a barely used $1000 handbag because she liked it.
I have a lot of nice stuff and don’t go anywhere to wear it anymore. They might as well enjoy it.
I’d get rid of the house and everything in it and move on a boat but hubby won’t so............
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