Man Gets Selected To Be A Judge At A Chili Cook-Off. This Is Hilarious.

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[Fai Mao]

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico.

"Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in... I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."

[Trot]

I did read it out loud to my wife and we both were in tears.

Speaking of old funnies such as this, does anyone have a copy of the “Martini letter”?

I’m not sure that’s the name of it, but it’s a letter one friend’s writing to another while pausing every other paragraph to mix a fresh martini.

Shortly after the letter starts, typos appear, and increase and increase and increase until you can hardly tell what the words are.

[TXnMA]

"But I guess it is a good thing he was New Mexico and not Texas" Correct. In Texas, we really have zero expectation that any non-Texan judge will survive.

[TXnMA]

Looks tasty. Where can it be obtained?

[norton]

Sauces, whether hot, curried or whatever, were invented to mask OLD food, rotten food or just plain BAD food.

For about a year while in the service I roomed with a jerk from back east who insisted on reminding us westerners that katsup was just as you describe, then he'd expound on the cultivated person's very appropriate wholesale use of mustard.

[OldMissileer]

Speaking of old funnies such as this, does anyone have a copy of the “Martini letter”?...
Shortly after the letter starts, typos appear, and increase and increase and increase until you can hardly tell what the words are.

Another old one I remember. I looked in my folder of old jokes and cartoons that I have kept for well over 30 years (pre-Internet stuff) but that one is not in there. Writing that, there is one on Facebook that is going around.It is a rehash of the one about cooking with wine where the cook/writer drinks wine after every step in the recipe. It is old but cute.

[cloudmountain]

They use spices to kill off stuff that is worse, in the food itself.

Spices don't kill unless you consider fire-hot chile peppers as "spice." Then they kill everything, even stomach lining.

[cloudmountain]

For about a year while in the service I roomed with a jerk from back east who insisted on reminding us westerners that katsup was just as you describe, then he'd expound on the cultivated person's very appropriate wholesale use of mustard.

He sounds like a prig who needed a life.

[Oatka]

Looks tasty. Where can it be obtained?

Some local big box groceries carry it at around $3.50 per bottle. Wal-Mart has an 8-jar max order at $2.65 ea. with their on line shopping (not in any stores I've seen). $5 shipping and they pack well.