Posted on 12/27/2015 2:27:50 PM PST by huckfillary
Juniata College, a small liberal arts college nestled in the hills of south-central Pennsylvania, has become the first college in the United States to order the removal of every urinal from campus. The vote by the college Board of Trustees was unanimous. The change was in response to an intense years-long campaign by a little-known, militant feminist group called Chicks Against Dicks (CAD). The group employed numerous tactics including petitions, lawsuits, and the occasional smashing of functioning campus urinals. Juniata President James A. Troha, androgynous but not transgender, was giddy over the vote. In remarks delivered breathelessly, Troha said, “Urinals are an insult to women everywhere. We will not rest until every urinal on the planet is destroyed or removed. I would especially like to thank CAD President Soren Cavendish whose ceaseless efforts carried the day. Because of her efforts, urinals will soon be relegated to museums and socially backward institutions.†Aside from the obvious political infractions associated with urinals and standing to pee, Roy Nagle, Juniata Director of Environmental Hygiene, cited numerous threats to public health by standing to pee. “When men stand to pee,†Nagle said, “they are oblivious to the fact that they are depositing drops of urine, biological microagressions, which may infect anyone within a determined range. Not all, but many women also find the smell of male urine offensive. Urinal cakes, evenm jasmine, are only so effective.†Signicantly, the vote requires, after the removal of the urinals, another vote which would require all males on campus to sit down to urinate. CAD President Cavendish reserved her harshest remarks for the centuries-old practice of men standing to pee. According to Cavendish, “There is nothing more painful to a woman, even more than sexual assault, than the thought of a man standing to pee. It is repulsive and repugnant. No one should be allowed to stand to pee. It is an anatomically-endowed privilege. We will not stop until this odious practice is relegated to the trash cans of history.†To enforce the new restroom codes, men’s room volunteers would issue citations to men caught in the act of standing to pee. First offenders would be required to attend urination reform classes, in which men would taught how to sit to pee. Secondly offenders would suffer the loss of meal swipes.
Was it James Carvile who once described Pennsylvania as two metropolises with Alabama in between? - and Juniata is deep inside what used to be the Alabama part of the state - religious, hunting, conservative - this cultural rot has infested far......
Piss on the seat.
Don’t forget to Manspread and growl while you do it!
These folks are really nuts and deserve ridicule.
As suggested this is satire. The school is very green though, with
“Composting toilets and waterless urinals.” I think with their new upgrades they would be wasting money just spent.
http://www.juniata.edu/offices/sustainability/our-green-buildings.php
Everything in the liberals’ universe revolves around their genitals.
So they actually are stupid enough to think that the guys are going to sit instead of stand just because its a toilet?
Silly children.......
Fine! We’ll just pi$$ in the sink!
If true, these crazy feminist moonbat lesbo bitches should be burned at the stake.
Simple solution: Piss on the toilet seats as an act of political rebellion.
>> A urinal uses what, a cup of water to flush? A toilet uses a gallon or two <<
Yep, maybe we should expect a big pushback from the environmental wackos about wasting water!
Guys need to demand a clean toilet seat and go over to the women’s side.
Stupid lesbians don’t know how a penis works.
Note to self: Add her name below Jane Fonda’s as a good grave to visit. If I don’t make it, leave name in will for male offspring to visit each grave. Just walk up and stand there...you know how it goes.
Me too. But there is still DNA to find us
It in just not right to try to turn pointers into setters.
These people misunderstand the use of urinals... They only keep men from p****** in the sink (sometimes).
Please tell me this is satire...
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