Posted on 11/26/2015 9:18:28 AM PST by usconservative
Chicagoans have one more reason to be thankful tonight, as the Bears take on the Packers in Lambeau Field for a primetime Thanksgiving matchup. Even though the Bears have been playing a little better as of late, the Packers are a superior team and will almost certainly destroy them like they did in September. So to cap off your Thanksgiving night right, here's a fun drinking game to play while you watch the game to make the viewing experience a little more enjoyable.
(Optional) Pre-game warm-up: Try to name all 27 quarterbacks the Bears have started since 1992 when Brett Favre was first named starter for the Packers. Have one drink for each quarterback you omit or guess incorrectly.
Before kickoff: If Alshon Jeffery is not in the starting lineup, have one drink. If Matt Forte is not in the starting lineup, grab a bottle of the strongest stuff in your liquor cabinet and brace yourself for a long night.
When the Bears have the ball:
- Every time Jay Cutler throws an incomplete pass, have one drink. Every time Cutler throws an interception, have two drinks. Every time the cameras show Cutler giving off that mopey "I don't care" look on his face, keep chugging your drink until you reach the same level of emotional detachment.
- If Jeremy Langford breaks off a long run or scores a touchdown, have one drink. If you have Langford on your fantasy team but benched him again this week, throw your drink at the wall.
- If Robbie Gould makes a field goal or PAT, have one drink. If the announcers say he's "good as gold" afterward, groan and have two drinks.
- If you disagree with a play called by John Fox, have one drink. If everyone watching with you agrees that Ditka is a better coach and would have this team ready to beat the Packers and communism, have a cheers and finish your drinks.
When the Packers have the ball:
- Every time Rodgers throws a touchdown pass, have two drinks. Every time the cameras show him smiling and joyously running around the field, think about how you want the Bears to wipe that stupid smirk off his face even though they can't, and put your drink down in resignation.
- Have one drink for every Bears missed tackle or failed coverage assignment.
- Have one drink for every no-name Packers player that roasts the Bears' secondary throughout the night like they always seem to do. Finish the rest of your drink as you cuss out the Bears for not being able to find the same kind of players.
Throughout the broadcast:
- Have one drink every time the announcers refer to Green Bay as the "frozen tundra" and mutter to yourself how stupid and redundant that phrase is.
- When the cameras show the town of Green Bay, have one drink for each building they show that's taller than Lambeau Field. Just kidding! Those don't exist in that godforsaken town. This is a good way to stay sober.
- If the announcers show the graphic of each starting QB the Bears have had since Brett Favre took over for the Packers in 1992, chug your drink until the segment is finished. This may require multiple drinks.
If the Bears win: (NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!
Break out the champagne!
If the Packers win: (GUARANDAMNTEE IT!)
Break out the Malort.
Enjoy the game, and try not to die of liver cirrhosis as you play along.
There were 22 teams under .500 pretty deep into the season, primarily because so many teams were undefeated or had only one loss. The picture seems to be shaking out, but I’d thought so before. Very uneven play in much of the NFL, which is exactly how it should be.
Amazing what a housecleaning can do for a team, as we’ve seen with the Lions. I’m starting to like Martha Ford, the Lions may have a chance with her at the helm, finally.
My head hurts too.
No, it most certainly did not!
I dunno. It was a pretty ugly game overall. (No, I'm not going to whine about the Ref's whistling a play dead that should've been a free play after the Bears neutral zone infraction. Packers should've never been in the position of needing that call to win in the first place.)
I'll give the Bears this: They're playing with an awful lot of heart the last seven games. John Fox is really turning that team around quick. NO ONE expected the Bears to beat the Packers this year. The Bears have won games they were major underdogs in, and lost some games in the last two minutes they should've won, but didn't because the Defense collapsed.
It sounds cliche, but they actually play better than their record indicates. They're still a few key players away from having a solid and consistent Defense, but they're certainly better than they were last year and at the beginning of this year.
God help me for saying this, but Cutler actually looks like he wants to win, and actually looks like he gives a sh*t sometimes.
I'm sure Virginia McCaskey was smiling last night. She's all about beating the Packers.
Thanks n/t
Tracy Porter had already backed off due to the play already being whistled dead when the receiver caught the ball.
Had not the play been whistled dead and Porter had not backed off, could Porter have been able to break up the play? We'll never know. But the Bears did stop them on four plays from the 8, so it was a deserved win.
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