Posted on 11/20/2015 3:13:54 PM PST by Domandred
My little brother’s baby was taken away from him last night, 11-18-2015, here in Cache County Utah. I’m writing this for all of my friends, family and community, in hopes that this issue gets out to the public and into the open. It is heart breaking and has apparently already affected a number of families here in Utah, because of a more recently passed Utah law.
A brief summary of the law is that a biological father, even listed as the father on the child’s birth certificate, does not have to sign and consent for his child to be adopted out. The mother can sign the child over, completely against the fathers will.
My brother Colby had his little girl taken away because of this law. Colby had been together with his girlfriend for over two years. He was with her all through the pregnancy. She was being pushed very strongly to adopt the baby out because the two were not yet married. Marriage was being discussed but would be further down the road. Colby was in the hospital when she had the baby, he never left her side or the baby’s side the entire time. He was a proud new Daddy, showing his new little girl off to all of us (Grandma, Grandpa, Brothers and Sisters.)
His girlfriend’s parents (I’m attempting to be respectful of privacy by leaving names out) were still pushing her to adopt the baby out, even threatening her. Her parents had a couple in their hometown (here in the valley) picked out for the baby to go to. They did not plan this to go through a typical adoption agency.
Colby and his girlfriend were being pressured to sign the baby over before leaving the hospital. Colby was completely against the adoption. His girlfriend was back and forth on her thoughts and unsure of the decision. The two talked and agreed to take the baby home. When it was time to leave the hospital, the two took their new little girl, who they named Kaylee Mae, to our parents’ home in Lewiston. There was a room already setup for little Kaylee Mae. Everything that was needed for the little one was all there and ready. Colby and his girlfriend had already done a lot of shopping for the baby, as did grandma and grandpa.
After a couple of days, the two decided together, to keep their little girl. The very next day, his girlfriend’s parents were upset and demanded that she go to their home and talk with them. Little Kaylee was left at home with Colby. Colby hadn’t left Kaylee’s side since she was born. He had already spent more time caring for her than her mother had. His girlfriend came back that evening, very upset and emotional, stating that she was going to sign the adoption papers that night.
Colby refused to sign, he was against the adoption. She left and signed the papers, leaving the baby with Colby. Since that night, Colby has had total care of his baby, his girlfriend not coming around at all. Colby planned on keeping custody of his Kaylee and started getting all the legal actions into place.
Colby has total support of his family: mom, dad, all four brothers and me, his only sister. His big brother Tyson and sister in law Kelsie, who have a new little one of their own, were proud to help Colby with some of the first baths, diaper changes and feedings, with me, our brothers and sister in laws, grandma and grandpa there willing to do whatever we could to help.
Grandma and Grandpa were 100% supportive, doing everything they could to help Colby with his new little girl. After the night his girlfriend left, she had never been back and took no more part in caring for the baby. Grandma was there every minute of every day and night to help. Even when it came time for Colby to fight to keep his baby, Grandma and Grandpa were there 100%.
Colby loves his little girl with all his heart. He has gone through absolute hell fighting to keep her and then losing her. He has pleaded with the couple to quit fighting him and just let him keep his baby. My whole family has been so involved and we are heart-broken. It is so hard for me to see my little brother so tore up and devastated.
My mom and dad are heart-broken and struggling to understand how this could’ve happened. They have invested in attorneys’ and spent numerous hours day and night along with Colby, trying to keep Colby’s baby, our Little Kaylee.
The final word came in last night, through law enforcement, that Colby had to turn his baby over to the couple that had been fighting to take her away from him. (As a side note: the adoptive couple hired a very expensive attorney- this same attorney has strong ties to this Utah law that was written and passed) According to Colby’s attorneys’- this adoption was ran through very secretively and quickly through the system- it was very shady.
Colby is an exceptional young man and an amazing father. He has never drank, smoked, used drugs, he has no criminal history, I don’t think he has even had so much as a speeding ticket. Our family is very close and would do anything for one another.
We feel that it is very important for Colby’s and Kaylee’s story to get out. Hopefully shedding some light on this law will help keep other families from going through this same tragedy that ours has. Maybe getting it out there will help to get it changed.
Thanks to all who have offered love and support. Our family asks for your thoughts and prayers for Colby, our family and the other families going through similar situations.
Sincere thanks for taking the time to read this
Jamie Nielsen and Family
*update: My family is extremely grateful for all the love and support we have already received these last few hours. We are overwhelmed with gratitude, we didn't expect this type of response. This world truly is full of love and kindness. Thank you all.
If any would like to help further, a GoFundMe account has been set up to help with attorney costs to try and get little Kaylee Mae home. Once again, thank you.
https://www.gofundme.com/g8b7btmk
WOW! You are messed up there! Did you actually use a brain cell before posting that!?
Stuff like that is why movements like MGTOW and the Mens Rights Movement exist.
Because these screwed-up laws that take away the father’s rights while making him legally liable for 18 years of child support or face jail if SHE says so, and the white knight simps that constantly side with the female out of some misguided pity.
The west wants to reverse declining birth rates had better reform these laws or men will simply drop out of this scam.
(My opinion is that they SHOULD have both - rights and responsibilities)
My opinion is that it should be required by law. If you make a child, and you cannot support it, "snip" goes your baby making powers.
And you are still on the hook for paying for the ones you made.
People, it is not only morally wrong to make an unwanted child, it is financially insane. No nation can continue to support the bastard children of ne're do wells.
No, I don’t think unmarried men should have rights nor should they have to pay child support.
Better now?
I absolutely agree, no rights and no child support.
uh no rights just obligations, is that ok with you? what about mama, should she have kept her dress on, zipped or otherwise.
++++++++++++++=
No obligations for the man, and no rights.
She should have kept the dress zipped. She now has to determine what happens to the baby.
Until it comes to child support, then they have “responsibilities.â€
Bullfeathers.
Rights and responsibility go hand in hand. No rights - no responsibility.
(My opinion is that they SHOULD have both - rights and responsibilities)
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We disagree, IMHO no rights and no responsibilities.
I’m with chicken soup, actually. If the dad won’t marry the mom, she does truly have the responsibility alone, for all practical purposes. Marriage is legal security for both parties. ‘Planning to stay together’ is not. imho. My son is in the same situation, so I have also seen this close-up and personal. If his ‘wife’ left him bc he would not commit, some of the blame would be squarely on his shoulders.
No rights means no child support...and you can damned well bet if he signed first and she changed her mind he’d be paying support till the child was 18.
Maybe you should just say unmarried parents automatically lose their rights and the children go to the State. That way both genders are treated equally.
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No, no rights and no responsibilities to the sperm donor, and decision and responsibility to the woman.
Because of that religious sect, I would never live anywhere in Utah.
Of course not! That would be silly.
Indeed, there are cases where a paternity test proved the sap paying child support was NOT the biological father, he still had to pay, though...
Have the "snip" apply to the mom TOO, and I'm on board with you. But only if it applies to the mom too.
WOW! You are messed up there! Did you actually use a brain cell before posting that!?
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Not sure what your problem is. No rights to unmarried fathers, also no responsibly either. Stop expecting sperm donors to act like committed parents.
It’s all mixed up. It begins with birth control
Men live lives of seventeen year old boys’ dreams. Women enable it
Abortions moves in.
Who should have rights giving a child up for adoption? At some point the child is some entity that is given nothing he has the right to. He wants two parents who are married and who love each other
That everything doesn’t revolve around that is what makes this a pottersville v Bedford falls
Just get married and then have sex.
It’s so uncomplicated
Stupid americans
There you go again, confusing laws with justice.
In point of fact, there are no parental rights, only maternal rights.
Otherwise the law would be sexist, wouldn't it???
Not true. Here is summary of the Utah adoption laws regarding when consent of the biological father is not required. Otherwise consent is required.
The consent of an unmarried biological father is not required if:
The court determines that the unmarried biological father’s rights should be terminated, based on the petition of any interested party.
A declaration of paternity declaring the unmarried biological father to be the father of the child is rescinded.
The unmarried biological father fails to comply to requirements to initiate proceedings to establish his paternity of the child.
A biological father is not entitled to notice of an adoption proceeding, nor is the consent of a biological father required in connection with an adoption proceeding, in cases where it is shown that the child who is the subject of the proceeding was conceived as a result of conduct which would constitute any sexual offense, regardless of whether the biological father is formally charged with or convicted of a criminal offense.
From http://laws.adoption.com/statutes/utah-laws,3.html
Because if it negated the mother's rights it would be sexist, DUH!!!
The hidden assumption here is that he has the right to force her to marry him.
Suppose she doesn't want to get married?
The only rational response to that, and the one one hundred percent of ethical people share as a corollary - is that mothers should have no right to economic support from the father unless married.
Ever.
The only rational response to that, and the one one hundred percent of ethical people share as a corollary - is that mothers should have no right to economic support from the father unless married.
Ever.
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Yep
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