Posted on 09/19/2015 7:32:43 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
It’s a complaint at least as old as “Sex and the City”: Where are all the good, dateable men? Why are there so many amazing women and so few acceptable mates for them? For a long time, the conclusions drawn were that women were doing something wrong. Too aggressive, not aggressive enough, not putting themselves out there, putting themselves out there a little too often.
A new book “Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game” by Jon Birger sets out to show that women aren’t doing anything wrong: There just aren’t enough Mr. Rights to go around.
Birger explains that this is the experience nationally, not just in oft-mentioned dating wastelands like New York City. With more women going to college than ever before, there are only so many baccalaureate bachelors for them to meet and marry.
That seems reasonable at first glance. Hey, if a woman is looking for someone with her level of education, and this is a deal-breaker for her, then sure, there’s a serious shortage of suitable men.
Birger points out that a woman who was 34 in 2007 began college in 1991 when women outnumbered men on college campuses by 10 percent. He notes that “in 2012, 34 percent more women than men graduated 4-year colleges.”
The numbers are indeed daunting. But they obscure a question all of these unmarried college-graduate women should be asking themselves: Why does a degree matter so much, anyway?
In his book “The Higher Education Bubble,” Glenn Reynolds quotes statistics showing that the cost of college has increased 439 percent since 1982. Reynolds’ book discusses the crippling debt many college graduates carry and how many of their degrees make the debt nearly impossible to ever erase.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
I tried the online dating thing for a few years.
In the part of the profile where you say what you are looking for I always stated I ‘wanted a giver’, because that is what I was offering.
I was amazed at the number of negative responses I received for those simple words.
Bizarre.
Sure, men would love to have a Victoria's Secret model who cooks well, and has a supercharged libido. But men necessarily develop more realistic views of their prospects.
It's the men who are expected to initiate asking women out, and bear the emotional risk of rejection. They thus develop an idea as to what kind of women are receptive to their approach. Women don't, and can more easily delude themselves that Prince Charming will eventually show up and marry them.
Women are further disadvantaged by the fact that Prince Charming occasionally DOES ask them out. But only when he doesn't have better prospects lined up. Just because Prince Charming will occasionally sleep with them, they delude themselves that he will marry them. Nope.
Lastly, men would rather date a woman they are only marginally interested in, than stay home alone. Women are more likely to stay home than date a guy who doesn't excite them.
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the product increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. “Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."
Worth the repost...:-)
Where’s the “Like” button... oh, you mean this isnt’ Facebook?!
You’d think that this “crisis” were real — like the Spinster Generation that followed the huge casualties of WW1. This is totally avoidable. A mismatch in expectations.
Maybe I am unacceptable, but all these women in yoga pants, Vinyasa scarves, riding boots, and Clark Kent glasses are by no means "amazing".
If “suitable” = college grad as the first criterion and the women are waiting until well after college to go in search of this desirable attribute, I think I see the problem. They are chasing after an ever-decreasing population that is making other choices about the biological imperative while the women are still getting their crap together.
I’m a college grad from the 70s when women still understood it was to their advantage to complete two degrees, the one they enrolled for plus the Mrs. degree. They had a captive audience and the selection was the best it would be. I know for a fact that this was a point of emphasis by my wife’s mother and it’s worked out well for 38 years now.
Amen. I know exactly what you're talking about. I once dated a man in his 50's who went on and on about how he didn't want to spend the rest of his life alone. I wonder whether he ever found someone willing to be his companion just because he didn't want to be alone.
/Call it a hunch, but I kind of doubt women in that program are that interested in guys with degrees in liberal arts.
Lol! These hateful modern women have no clue. May each of them be a dead end and have no offspring.
New York has LIFETIME alimony, any guy would be insane to be married in New York with their courts designed to punish men.
Like I said, you better look more like Candice Swanepoel if you have a liberal arts degree and tons of student loan debt like the writer and expect someone to marry you.
Generally until retirement, a man's earnings and his potential increase with time; (e.g. until he hits retirement age, he is increasing his ability to be a caregiver and provider).
I don't really care about a woman's earning potential.
I want someone kind, loving, caring, and family oriented. If you wasted the best years of your life being a "career woman" and being "independent," it should come as no surprise that you are still "independent" (read "alone") later in life.
Conversely, as a woman gets older, her attractiveness, child bearing, and desirability decreases.
Women in there upper to mid-30s are the worst. They've finally paid down their college debt and suddenly want a family to fill the big hole in their life.....only problem is the biological clock is ticking and so it has to be "now, now, now." Oh, and this is after they're done checking into FaceBook, texting 300 people, and this whole relationship/family thing can't interfere with her career.....just so long as it's "right now!"
It's like buying a car. Do I want to buy an American one that's finicky with multiple owners, high mileage, and that someone else horsed on, or can I be happier with a newer import one that's more reliable model with less mileage and fewer owners?
I'm happy with my current girl [American]. Awhile back, I had started dating again and was close to focusing solely on foreign girls. I was fortunate enough to find an American chick with the same values as me......took me long enough.
Your hunch is pretty good.
+1.
and they certainly aren't going to make these women be like the gals in sex and the shi|ty.
So, so true.
Later
I re-entered the dating world post 40. I work a solitary self employed job. I thought online dating would be a great way to meet women. I did some research after being disappointed and here is what I learned.
1) Middle aged women haven’t come to terms that they have fading looks and are not as desirable as they used to be.
2) These women have very high standards. Usually they want a man to be similarly or higher educated and ditto with income. He must be taller. Most put on their profile they want a man who is very close to her age and hence excluding older men of more than 5 years.
3) They are confused what men want. They talk a ton about their dogs/cats. They go on and on about their jobs. They basically seem to write a profile that another woman would enjoy. Rarely do these women talk about things that a man like me cares about. Like are they kind, nurturing and do they know how to cook and generally make a man happy?
This is so absolutely spot on. There are things you avoid like the plague. It amazes me that women fail to see it. Never date a woman with the following images in her profile; solo pictures of their dog or cat(s), group or individual photos with her drinking, her in some exotic/iconic foreign location.
You may be surprised by the last one. I've found that women over 40 take pictures of that once in a lifetime trip and think they're going to be doing it every year for the foreseeable future and they're globetrotters making $60k. They are likely very financially irresponsible.
Men and these ‘women’ are definitely of two minds regarding what makes an “acceptable” man. In fact, these ‘women’ seem to be shallow and narcissistic.
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