They are gathering for the GOP debate, but I don't see the Doc or Carly...Trump changed his hat...It's gray.
Posted on 09/14/2015 12:51:15 PM PDT by conservativejoy
Dear CNN,
First, I want to let you know I am one of your biggest fans. You produce quality programming, which explains why you are #1 in viewership not just in airports, but also dentist offices, county jails, and mental hospitals across Amercia. I think the concept of having Anderson Cooper for three hours (one of them a repeat) from 8 pm to midnight every weekday night is brilliant, he's like a human Yule Log that you can keep watching and watching and watching. Anderson is like human Ambien, he helps millions of people fall asleep every night. Compared to him, even Jeb Bush is an amphetamine.
But down to business. There are too many candidates for Wednesday night's debate. Each one will only get a few minutes of questioning. That's why I think you need to thin the herd. Rand, Chris, Mike, and Marco have to go. They have no chance any way. You should seat them at the kindergarden table where you will serve the McDonald's Happy Meals and little juice cups to Rick, Jim, George, Bobby and the rest.
And Carly has to go too. I know she's a woman, and that's why you made 11 out of 10, but she has no chance either. If you feel the need for a womanly presence, thinking about getting one of the many Fox morning show super-blonde ladies with the long legs as a co-moderator. And then have her ask all the Donald Trump questions. You'll get sky high ratings.
If Rand, Chris, Mike, Marco or Carly object, you can try to pull a fast one on them. Tell them the stage is too small for all the candidates and they will be simulcast jointly from a second stage. Then get some stooges from #Blacklivesmatters, CAIR, and Planned Parenthood to pretend to be moderators and ask them questions. They'll never know the difference.
But please be sure to keep Scott in the real debate. He has no chance of winning, but with Rick Perry gone, we need some comic relief. When Scott rides into the auditorium on his motorcycle and announces, in his deep voice, "I'm here to terminate Wisconsin public sector unions", it's ratings gold. And then even more so, when he's asked a simple question, like about birthright citizenship, and he turns into Elmer Fudd and says, "Which way should I go, which way should I go?"
I'd love to write more, but my dentist is ready for me now.
Sincerely,
Your loyal waiting room viewer,
Ed
PS And please don't be discouraged by low ratings. I know you could probably get higher ratings than Anderson by broadcasting the Bulgarian language version of the Poseidon Adventure in reverse order, from ending to beginning, but CNN is about quality, not viewership. Always remember that.
Glad to see someone has step up to exclaim the facist view.
Pretty sure this was written by Ed Shultz following his departure....
We could lose them easy.
Get rid of Juan Ellis Bush while you’re at it.
Excellent....
Walker refuses to answer “hypothetical” questions lately, like what to do about the “refugees”.
Scott, your presidency is “hypothetical.” Answer the dang questions.
We could lose the debates - I don’t think they serve a real purpose other than try to get the candidates snipping at each other and fighting with the moderators. Plus, it’s all about ratings and getting sound bites for them.
This writer has a terrific sense of humor, but a flawed sense of what personal qualities are worth holding onto.
Keep Carly and Marco, both excellent V.P. choices. Christie is still ‘on punishment’ for election campaign sabotage, and always will be. Who is ‘Mike’?
“..Get rid of Juan Ellis Bush while you’re at it...”
Yeah, I saw that “typo” too. Just an oversight, I am sure.
CNN hasn’t been #1 since the Clinton administration. Someone is on crack.
I had to get an x-ray this AM and the waiting room TV was on the Food Network. It was a nice surprise.
It seems to make sense to cut the field of 16 in half for the two debates: the JV undercard and the Trump varsity match.
I think the author was being sarcastic. :)
Marco is still on the cheap labor express with amnesty. Carly won’t make it on the ticket if the nominee is Trump.
Ditto. Id not be surprised to see Rubio as VP to Trump.
1st paragraph is pretty funny because it’s true.
Absolutely correct. It makes no sense to have the top tier candidates deprived of time while the second team gets the air time. Split it right down the middle to eight on each stage.
The Huckster.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.