A Modest Proposal: The Thread Hijack Drinking Game [vanity]

Still me. | Today | Me

[Slings and Arrows]

The time has come to take action against thread hijackers.

Let me begin with an example of thread hijacking:

Like most Freepers, I am pro-life. Abortion and and euthanasia appall me, and marketing the results even more so. I support candidates who oppose the culture of death, and cheer when it is thwarted.

I also do not find it necessary to mention these facts on EVERY. FREAKING. THREAD.

There is a certain type of Freeper, though, who has no such restraint. For these zealots, any thread that deviates from the pro-life cause, no matter how trivially, is a heresy that must be immediately suppressed.

You are shocked by cruelty to animals? I guess that means you couldn't care less about the cruelty of THE MILLIONS OF CHILDREN ABORTED EVERY YEAR!!!!!

You lost a beloved pet? Why can't you mourn THE THOUSANDS OF ABORTED BABIES WHO DIED THE SAME DAY?!!!!

Your car shredded its transmission and you're looking at thousands of dollars in repairs? Why aren't you thinking about THE BABIES WHO WILL NEVER GROW UP TO BE AUTO MECHANICS BECAUSE THEY WERE ABORTED?!!!!

(OK, maybe I made that last one up.)

Arguing with these people is pointless. It's the same principle as wrestling with a pig - you just get muddy and the pig enjoys it. Similarly, trying to convince them that they are being rude is a waste of time - THE CAUSE is far more important little things like courtesy and respect.

So, what can we do about it?

We can get drunk.

I hereby propose The Thread Hijack Drinking Game. The rules are simple: When a poster tries to hijack an unrelated thread to his or her pet cause, you 1) reply to the hijack attempt by quoting the text in question, followed by the word "DRINK!", and 2) Take a drink (or any volume) of your favorite beverage (alcoholic or non-alcoholic). Moderation is suggested on animal cruelty threads to avoid alcohol poisoning.

This game will not, I admit, solve the thread hijacking problem. But after a certain number of attempts we will no longer care.

And if anyone is offended by my little proposal, I can only say...

DRINK!

[WVKayaker]

The rules don’t apply to kittens.

Dogs rule! Cats have hairballs (or is that hairy balls?)!

But...

Look! Squirrel! (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain TRUTH!)

DRINK!

[West Texas Chuck]

You must be new.

[humblegunner]

Damn, man.. what about the LION?! Who can drink while he's still dead?

REVIVIFY CECIL!

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

That’s not thread, it’s twine! </pedant>

[CyberAnt]

On one condition .. you have to get back all the murdered children first.

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

“Thread Hijacking For Great Justice!”

All your thread are belong to us!

[Salamander]

Epic.

[Slings and Arrows]

> Are you saying people are making a choice about one issue to the exclusion of the other?

Yes, and they are demanding that we make the same choice. The polite word for this is “fanaticism.” I can think of several less polite words.

[Slings and Arrows]

If there is a Zombie Lion Ping List, please add me to it.

[Slings and Arrows]

Thank you.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

DANG!

[Bobalu]

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

What this thread has become:

[Slings and Arrows]

“We can haz drinks?”

[Slings and Arrows]

But an entertaining train wreck!

[Bobalu]

That is such a cute image!.

I wish I had both of those little guys here to entertain and delight me :-)

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

You betcha!

DRINK!

[Pelham]

Drink!

[Daffynition]

[Slings and Arrows]

They’d be great company, you betcha.