Posted on 06/18/2015 5:46:44 PM PDT by Altariel
Well, at least you had the ballzoneze to commit your whole life in the first place. I’m 5’6. You can’t likely be shorter than that. Yet, it doesn’t matter; you’re a bigger man than I will ever be. I have the guts and will but you actually GAVE it and lived it.
Ocean Grove is a part of Neptune and is thriving. Unfortunately, that dumb town decided to raise taxes wildly driving middle class people out and bringing in the wealthy who are busily tearing down the old Victorians and replacing them with hideous “modern” Victorians. I suppose their increased tax dollars pay for more people on the dole.
“Well if someone close to you does something unthinkable and you want to treat them with utter disdain,”
Killing your wife in front of your child deserves the ultimate in disdain.
There is no excuse.
None.
And going “poor him” is misplaced sympathy.
The only person present (and living) who should have received a hug would be the seven year old child who was forced to witness her father murder her mother.
If your best friend murdered his wife in front of your best friend’s daughter, and you hugged him, what kind of message would you send to a child?
I think they were shocked and acting in the moment, not analyzing the situation to think about what “message” it would send.
In your case it would be too late, the assault would have happened. What you have done is extralegally appointed yourself as punisher.
People who are shocked at witnessing a murderer don’t naturally decide to hug the murderer and not the child witnessing the murder.
You seem incredibly invested in defending their actions.
Of course, if one views it as a kind of gang initiation, a “Welcome to the club” hug might make sense.
You keep replying to me. I keep answering your questions, what the hell do you want from me? To get the last word? Go ahead and take it.
Nope, merely noting that you appear to continue to justify why the murderer—and not the child-—should have been hugged.
Have a good day.
And no.
Sorry for the delayed response, been working out of town.
As someone who fought the system (rigged against fathers), I know well the deep, deep anger one feels. Dark, dark thoughts do go through a father’s mind that is fighting to be relevant in his children’s lives.
I was fortunate both times. I had a stellar fathering record and though I was not an attorney I was able to act as my own attorney many times. So, both times I came out on top with Joint Custody very much weighted in my favor and almost equal amounts of time with both kids (two different mothers).
So, my comment is that ALL fathers going through this are a walking time bomb, this father just exploded. With 9 kids now not having a mother or a father, this incident makes me ill and very ANGRY at THE SYSTEM. Fathers and mothers should be treated EQUALLY in the eyes of the law and they are not. This FACT contributes to incidents like this though NOTHING can excuse shooting a child’s mother right in front of her, or anywhere else.
Not condoning what this guy did, but the anger generated by these situations should never be underestimated. My brother’s marriage of 17 years was destroyed by his wife cheating on him a few years ago. They have 3 sons. While he was/is still furious with his ex, he realizes that she is still the mother of his children and the children need/love her.
But when my brother talks about the guy that slept with his wife a dark cloud goes comes over his expression. I know he thinks about killing that guy. He still talks about it. As time goes by I grow less worried about it, but I still would not be shocked to get a phone call from the police...I tell him to think about his boys that need him.
I’d be lying if I said I didnt wish horrible things on his *unt ex-wife though.
Sorry, I know this thread is a month old. But I was just reading this story somewhere else.
And I wanted to point out to both of you that this particular crime was not at all about a father being denied custody rights.
In this divorce, this guy was accused not only of being violent (which I’d guess you wouldn’t believe, anyway), but he cheated on his wife while she was fighting cancer, and then he left to move in with his mistress.
So, he’s the bad guy. He always was the bad guy. She complained to the court that he was a bad guy. And he proved her right.
Here’s more info:
I watched the video tonight (Aug 2). Clearly a man shooting his wife in front of his daughter is insane.
I wonder if he made bail?
My only point is that based on having gone through this twice I KNOW that women in a divorce will say ANYTHING and too often clueless judges buy into it to the detriment of all concerned and particularly the kids.
Also, if it were proven in open court that the sob ever hit the woman even once, I would automatically start leaning away from his version of events.
I never laid a finger on either one of my wives though they richly deserved it!
I will Google this up and see if the guy made bail.
He didn’t.
There are many men who lie to judges in divorce court, too.
This woman must’ve been telling the truth. By all accounts, she was a nice lady, and, by shooting her dead, her ex proved she was telling the truth.
Sorry, I was in Alaska on August 3.
I get your point and for sure men lie too. My complaint is, and it is based on painful experience, that “the system”, meaning judges, lawyers, guardian ad litems and so on have a built in from the jump bias in favor of the woman every time.
Surprisingly, California may have moved toward redressing this issue. I know this based upon my son’s ongoing grief with his X. It seems California has a statute barring any prsumption of who’s the better parent based on gender.
As for her telling the truth, you know more about that than I do.
Sorry, I was in Alaska on August 3.
I get your point and for sure men lie too. My complaint is, and it is based on painful experience, that “the system”, meaning judges, lawyers, guardian ad litems, pshchologists and so on have a built in from the jump bias in favor of the woman every time.
Surprisingly, California may have moved toward redressing this issue. I know this based upon my son’s ongoing grief with his X. It seems California has a statute barring any presumption of who’s the better parent based on gender.
As for her telling the truth, you know more about that than I do.
Sorry about your son’s experience with the court system.
I don’t know about the law in CA, but, in my state, there’s no bias in favor of one gender over another, even though many men say there is.
However, unfortunately, the law does not penalize the spouse who committed a wrong (cheated, lied, etc.). So, there are men ordered to make support payments to exes who cheated on them during the marriage. It’s not right.
OTOH, I’ve been coming across many women ordered to make support payments to their abusive and/or cheating ex-husbands. IMHO, the whole system needs to be reformed.
In this murder case, though, this police officer proved to be dangerous. His ex-wife was right. He proved her right when he killed her.
We could not agree more that the whole system needs to be reformed.
It should start with “domicilliary address”. The court should set that day one. In my cases, 9 years apart, I fought for the domicilliary address to be the county we had raised our child in for many years OR any contiguous county. That worked. Both kids had both parents throughout childhood!
Either parent could move to Borneo if they wanted, they just would not get to see their child.
In our case, we both stayed here and raised the kids together, well, LOL, so to speak. But, we were both at all their events and the proof is in the pudding. One is a CPA and one is building houses. Both have college degrees.
I don’t know whether I’d agree with the domiciliary address reform you’d like to see. It would depend on the case.
I’d like to see changes made to the way the courts handle spousal debt. If one spouse has driven up debt without the consent and/or knowledge of the other, then the other spouse shouldn’t be responsible for that debt at all.
Another reform needed is for cases where one spouse broke up the marriage by committing adultery: In those cases, the faithful spouse shouldn’t be required to pay the cheating spouse alimony.
Yet another needed reform - and this is one that fathers should support - is that, if genetic testing shows that a husband is not the biological father of a child, then he alone should decide whether or not to pay child support. (Right now, there are men paying child support for children conceived through their wives’ adultery.)
Congratulations on the success of your children, by the way. It’s good that everything worked out in the long run.
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