Brief Video: 5 things you should never put on your résumé

Business Insider ^ | 04/13/2015 | Justin Gmoser

[SeekAndFind]

Applying for a job is all about making good impressions, and making them fast. Before you worry about nailing that interview, you need to focus on what kind of impression your résumé is giving. Your résumé should be clear and concise – be sure to leave off these five items.

CLICK ABOVE LINK FOR THE VIDEO ( TAKES JUST A LITTLE OVER 1 MINUTE TO VIEW )

[Yo-Yo]

Number 3: Beer Pong champion of my Dorm, Junior year.

[blueunicorn6]

“I am the CEO’s illegitimate child.”

[clamper1797]

I need to work from home so I can be close to my drug and alcohol suppy

[DungeonMaster]

Community organizer.

[Zathras]

...worked for Jimmy Carter and Barack Obama....

[Ted Grant]

Trustee, Model Prisoner, Ossining Correctional Facility, 2004-2009.

[TexasCajun]

And the #1 worst thing to put on a resume?

[Buckeye McFrog]

Jan. 2010 - Feb. 2015 - License Plate Manufacturing Technician, Stony Ridge State Prison

[Tenacious 1]

Independent Agricultural Canibus Engineer and Distributor.

[NorthMountain]

Previous Work Experience:

“Production Chemist, Walter White Industries”

“Hortculturalist, Nancy Botwin Enterprises”

“Special Assistant to Saul Goodman, Esq.”

[Jonty30]

A man can be President with that qualification.

[CrazyIvan]

I used to make custom motorcycle frames for several large distributers. On one batch we had been assigned the wrong serial numbers to stamp on the steering heads. The retailer realized their mistake after we had delivered them so I had to go to their warehouse, buff the numbers out and re stamp. The owner complimented me on doing a great job of this. I told him it was a skill that should probably not appear on a resume.

[Leaning Right]

I request that you do not fingerprint me. And if you must, I request that you do not send the prints to Interpol.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Book binding at Iowa State Pen, Fort Madison, IA.

[circlecity]

Member of [fill in the blank] Christian Church.

[KarlInOhio]

Harry Reid's personal trainer.

Some things are improved by video. Then there was this. It would have taken about ten seconds to get that same information in text. I don't need to see a pizza van drive up to get "don't include irrelevant work experience".

[SeekAndFind]

RE: Member of [fill in the blank] Christian Church.

That’s one of the no-no’s in the video...

[Albion Wilde]

And the #1 worst thing to put on a resume?

I'm no fan of the Botox look. But in her case I'll make an exception.

[Steve_Seattle]

"Member of [fill in the blank] Christian Church."

That probably WOULD disqualify you in a lot of real-world situations - academia, journalism, corporate CEOs. People in those fields are spooked by the notion of morality coming from a higher power. They want morality to come from themselves, and to be unchecked.