Posted on 03/12/2015 7:37:26 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
I saw this headline at Newsalert from a CNS News article and went over to read it:
(CNSNews.com) – Seventy percent of American males between the ages of 20 and 34 are not married, and many live in a state of “perpetual adolescence” with ominous consequences for the nation’s future, says Janice Shaw Crouse, author of “Marriage Matters.”
“Far too many young men have failed to make a normal progression into adult roles of responsibility and self-sufficiency, roles generally associated with marriage and fatherhood,” Crouse, the former executive director of the Beverly LaHaye Institute, wrote in a recent Washington Times oped.
The high percentage of bachelors means bleak prospects for millions of young women who dream about a wedding day that may never come. “It’s very, very depressing,” Crouse told CNSNews.com.
It seems that Crouse and her crowd are watching too many Say Yes to the Dress episodes. So what matters is that women’s dreams are shattered? What about the bleak prospects for millions of men across the country who get very little legal or psychological protection from marriage? Now that’s what’s very, very depressing. Change that and maybe more men will be interested.
I don’t even believe that statistic anymore; maybe thirty years ago, but no more. In fact, as women are increasingly divorced or having babies without marriage, the rules of those circumstances skew the stats against them. For example, if you marry a woman that fits either of those categories, you must understand that there is absolutely no problem (in her mind) with continuing to maintain sexual relations with the former spouse/baby daddy.
“Unfaithful” is a term I associate more with marriage than simply dating, and as marriage goes the way of the dodo there is less likelihood that a man could ever be “unfaithful”...
my daughter and sil married at 24, son is dating and I hope marrying soon, at 20. Still looking for a husband for the 22 year old, but it will happen soon.
We encourage early marriage and our children spend time with other early marriage folks.
same here. many married and reproducing couples, many under 30. numerous couples having 3 four or 5 children. some couples adopting an additional one or two.
As I’ve written up-thread this is not a male-female issue. It is a lawyer-government issue. Through the law and the state’s jurisdiction they have turned marriage into an absurd legal contract with the government. I blame them as well as those who condone it under the ridiculous pretense of ‘men-can-be-bad’ -such as yourself. Just because some individuals can be bad does not justify unconscionable statutes and judgments.
The reasoning you have displayed on this thread is repugnant. It’s akin to a FReeper defending widespread presumptive civil asset forfeiture based upon less than 1% of cases showing cause. It’s unreasonable -to put it kindly.
Please keep your issues to yourself.
Here’s what I love: a lot of women moan about men being “reluctant to commit” and yet most divorces are initiated by women.
___________
Most divorces are initiated by women because men usually do not care about being divorced. It just doesn’t matter to them, and they can be in a not married/not divorced phase. women need closure. Also a number of women divorce or legally separate to protect themselves from husband’s financial splurges. that of course, goes both ways.
That is just sad; a female friend in her 30s described how her married friends, at any social gathering, would constantly introduce her to every single guy there...
American women, like blacks, are victims of the de facto amnesty we’ve had for decades; American men can marry any of the millions of more traditional women flocking to our shores (and they do).
I’m a couple of years behind you, also married, and would never consider it today. The problem with the aging feminists is that they spread their misery to everyone around them; they make my workplace intolerable, especially resenting the darker women who have children (married or not). One insisted that pets be included on a proposed company picnic (which then died in the planning stages), and many use aging parents as an excuse for declining additional hours of work.
While the photo at the top is meant to slam young men as irresponsible/immature, note how happy they look. I’m glad they’re happy; why can’t everyone be happy for them?
I see an increase in the number of guys who wait until they’re 50 before marrying; they’ll never have kids, and often the women make as much as they do (so there will be no alimony when she gets bored and leaves). Here in NJ they are trying to change the alimony laws to address the steep drop in marriages/American children; probably too little/too late as many Americans continue to flee NJ anyway.
“Most divorces are initiated by women because men usually do not care about being divorced. It just doesn’t matter to them, and they can be in a not married/not divorced phase.”
That is absurd; if men didn’t care about being divorced then more would risk marriage.
My ex owes me child support, hasn’t paid a dime since the divorce in 2009. If I press the issue, the state will garnish her wages, BUT it also gives her visitation rights. I’m not pressing the issue whatsoever. I don’t need the financial support, nor do the kids have any interest in seeing her.
I think that’s part of it, but I also think it’s a result of our societal permissiveness. People are allowed to behave poorly and don’t have the foresight to know their lifestyle choices will have real consequences in the future.
You complain that more women than men "get custody," but in order to evaluate the validity of your claim, it would have to be presented against how many men seek custody and under what circumstances. Divorce settlements remain a case-by-case situation.
Divorce is a bad, bad thing for everyone involved. My conclusion after years of study is that people should seek marriage classes and instruction before getting married, and churches should demand marriage education before agreeing to marry people. Of course, there is always civil marriage for people who want to live like homosexuals and base their marriage on an emotional/financial/sexual footing rather than a deep spiritual covenant between themselves and God.
And there is nothing classroom work can do for a couple who felt entitled to monkey sex without a marriage commitment, got accustomed to a spiritually deficient relationship, made it "permanent" and then had it all blow up when the usual sacrifices parenthood demands started taking all the fun out of it. That's just the hard truth. What "no-fault" has done is take away all moral accountability and an objective standard of morality from marriage. If the law does not demand fidelity, financial responsibility or sobriety, for instance, and does not punish adultery, financial irresponsibility or substance abuse at divorce, then it all boils down to how much money the lawyers can soak a divorcing couple for. At that point, who gets what is only a game to them; whatever brings them the most profit is what gets done—man, woman, and child be damned.
Bringing in the statistics on cohabitation into a discussion of what gets awarded at divorce introduces irrelevancies. See my post just above.
It is hard for me to understand the exact source of your displeasure with what I have written, and why my demand for moral accountability in marriage and divorce is “repugnant” or is merely a personal “issue”. Denouncing my objectivity is not convincing. My views are the result of study and analysis of the statistics and jurisprudence of marriage and divorce over the past 25 years.
Nothing I have written is to favor one sex over the other, but rather to condemn the irresponsible behavior that leads people to make flawed and unstable marriages in the first place, and certainly the bankrupt jurisprudence that has erupted from the birth control and abortion SCOTUS decisions of the 60s that began the long slide into decadence and the destruction of the family.
Shame on you. That was a despicable answer.
Good grief , are you really this dense?
“You complain that more women than men “get custody,” but in order to evaluate the validity of your claim, it would have to be presented against how many men seek custody and under what circumstances. Divorce settlements remain a case-by-case situation.”
The statistics are well known and have been known for a long, long time.
Perhaps you should have bothered to read some of the many infamous studies the women’s groups had done in the early 80’s.
The gender bias against men by the courts must end.
What should end is people relying on birth control and abortion in order to place sexual pleasure at the top of their expectations of the people they date. It has led to a dramatic lowering of standards in all areas concerning children. They are the victims of adult irresponsibility.
Marriage is dead dear. It has nothing to do with ‘sexual pleasure’.
Dear?
I’m starting to see what the problem is.
Really?
Lets help you out a bit then. Where to start.
Your failure to adequately study the issue. “I have studied the statistics and the dynamics behind them objectively”
Your lack of knowledge on the statistics involved. “But individual experiences are not statistics. “
incompetent studies. “did Ivy graduate work in the area of marriage in society and law”
failure to understand and analyze the trends “and have followed the trends in this area since 1991”
Lack of reading comprehension “I get that you are very upset over this issue and may have a personal reason to feel that way.”
Complete ignorance on the bias against men. “While men might receive the short end in one way”
False straw arguments “and trying to continue blaming the basic nature of women or of men just compounds the distortions”
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