Posted on 10/21/2014 10:05:39 AM PDT by Morgana
I live in a quiet subdivision in rural Ontario. I mean very quiet—all summer long, I rarely saw any kids outside biking or playing street hockey or running flimsy lemonade stands or just roughhousing around outside. Then, the day school started, I was shocked when I left my house in the morning and I saw kids everywhere, backpacks in tow, heading to bus stops and walking to the nearby school. This many kids live in my neighborhood? I thought to myself. Where were they all summer?
There are a number of possible answers, of course. Some were probably on vacation. Some were probably shipped off to camp by their parents. But many of them were likely inside the house, glued to screens. One recent Canadian overview found that, “10- to 16-year-olds in Canada get an average of 6 hours and 37 minutes of screen time per day. The largest source of screen time is television (2 hours and 39 min) followed by computers (2 hours and 7 min) and video games (1 hour and 51 min).”
I’ve met more teens than I can count whose first exposure to porn—and not just “normal” porn but dark, violent porn that in 2014 is now mainstream—was at the ages of ten or eleven.
The problems apparent in these numbers go far beyond stunted creativity, childhood obesity, and, I would argue, the fact that these children are being deprived of a childhood by zoning out in front of screens. The problem is that many, many of these children will end up finding and looking at pornography. That pornography will shape the way they view sex as they grow older. Those views will shape how they treat themselves and others. Keep in mind that that the average boy, for example, is first exposed to pornography at the age of eleven.
I speak on sex and pornography in high schools quite often, and every time I do I’m faced with a dilemma: The adults in the room are likely to be shocked, horrified, and even upset when I confront the students with the reality of what online porn is and why it is so dangerous. However, the teenagers for the most part are not even remotely shocked. Most of them have seen the things I’m talking about. Increasingly, and chillingly, they have even been coerced or pressured into trying the dark perversions they see unfolding on their iPad, computer, and smartphone screens. It’s gotten to the point where I’m relieved when teenagers are shocked by one of my presentations—it means that they’ve heard the information in time to avoid the clutching webs of the Internet porn industry.
I’m quite often accused of being an alarmist by adults and church leaders who can’t quite believe just how pervasive porn use and porn exposure is among the very young. I’m often told that this is the reason that having a presentation on pornography would be “too controversial.” Quite frankly, I wish they were right. But consider just a few of these statistics:
35% of teen boys say they have viewed pornographic videos “more times than they can count.”
15% of boys and 9% of girls have seen child pornography.
32% of boys and 18% of girls have seen bestiality online. Advertisement
39% of boys and 23% of girls have seen sexual bondage online.
83% of boys and 57% of girls have seen group sex online.
I’ve met more teens than I can count whose first exposure to porn—and not just “normal” porn but dark, violent porn that in 2014 is now mainstream—was at the ages of ten or eleven. I’ve met parents who tell me how relieved they are that their children never had a porn problem, when I’ve spoken to their children and I know that their children did, in fact, struggle with porn. After one presentation, I even had an anonymous letter sent to me by a wife and mother who revealed that throughout my presentation on pornography, she felt relieved that her husband would never look at such things. She found out a short time later that he had been looking at pornography for a long time.
It is not alarmist to say that this problem is everywhere. It’s a grim fact.
Last week I spoke at a high school conference for Christian schools. One of the things I like to do to show the teachers and other adults just how essential it is to provide teens with the truth about pornography is to hold an open forum—let the students write down any and all questions they have about the topic and submit them to be answered. Every time, teachers are shocked by what the students are asking as they realize just how far this menace has spread and how badly it has infected our schools.
At the last conference, for example, I had a fourteen-year-old girl ask me what girls should do when their boyfriends pressure them into anal sex (hugely popular in mainstream porn right now.) I had teen boys asking me how to deal with their masturbation problems. I was asked why porn sites were so addicting. I was asked by one girl why so many boys were demanding oral sex. And I was even asked questions about bestiality in porn, questions I even had a hard time believing teens of that age could be asking.
With access to the Internet everywhere, it is not simply enough to filter the Internet in our homes and install accountability software on our electronic devices, although all of these steps are absolutely essential. In today’s day and age, where kids and teens are going to find porn if they want to or if they’re curious, they have to be spoken to honestly about what pornography is and why it will destroy their minds, their relationships, and their souls. They need to know why so much of what they see in porn is dark and evil, and why these things have no place in the context of a loving relationship.
I read a column from Anthony Esolen called “What they will never know” a few years back, and he beautifully highlights what the teens of today are being robbed of: “Our teenagers who know so much about the mechanics of copulation miss the sweetness of simple humanity. People used to sing merrily about holding a girl’s hand while walking home from the dance—holding a hand. With that touch, they knew the thrill, perhaps for the first time, of being deemed worthy of love. What is it like, to be a boy or a girl who could be made dizzyingly happy by so simple a touch? We will never know.”
The porn plague has spread far and dizzyingly fast. But if we talk to teens openly, and show them not only why the darkness of pornography is so dangerous but why the alternative of healthy human sexuality is so beautiful, then this generation will still have a chance. It is up to us to provide that chance.
Strawman. He can use our stuff, when we allow it. I suppose you wouldn’t mind your kid roaming all over the city unfettered? It is not about trusting the child.
It has to do with trust of the circumstance. Lots of crud pops up just suddenly whether child intends irpt or not. I made my son stop watching YouTube himself when he ran across homemade videos from kids who use foul language in their story-telling. Allhe was doing was looking for train films, but lots of low-class jerks out there putting their stamp on innocent-looking things. I do not want him turning trash.
The other part is buying expensive things for them with plenty risk. Spoiled. Some things are just for adults and that is what they should expect. Instead of always trying to be as good or better than the other kids based on expensive things.
Kindle and tablets got WiFi, so you can connect to the internet. Tablets are the way to go in terms of learning. You can learn at your own pace with tablets, notebooks or desktops.
Same old.
That is the same as “they’re going to do it anyway”.
We are aware he is going to run across it. We do not have to hasten it.
My wife and I are continually amused wherever we go, it seems like the great majority of teens have their devices out doing whatever...texting, playing games, or just doing something with them. It’s like the movie “Invasion Of The Body Snatchers
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It actually works as a visual drug
“Kindle and tablets”
What are tablets? Yea I’m not up on all that. So please explain for me and all the other FReepers who may not be also. thanks.
Take your pills
I guess you were insulted by my statement?
I was referring to the constant official organized activities that parents ship their kids off to. Again, I will repeat, these kids are every weekend having to go to official activities even during the school year. Never mind if they were doing so all Summer.
That just ain’t right.
A new battle plan like the war against drugs that is a joke?
God has a plan. It’s called telling the truth. I was thinking about hell this morning after remembering my sister joking with my mother about being in hell together. Since there is no love, joy, or peace, they will hate each other. They will probably spend eternity torturing each other. That is hell. And there is no pleasure in the torture, only hatred, disgust and self-abhorrence at what is being done.
In heaven there is healing and singing and oh, the joy is indescribable. Love beyond comprehension. Seeing one another as servants of God and the Temple of the Holy Spirit is something that needs to be expounded upon. The cleansing rites of those serving in the Temple and the fear of the LORD when facing the arc of the covenant by the High Priest is how we should treat each other, and ourselves! Now that might be a battle plan.
You don't think kids know how to surf privately and/or clear their history? My 5-year old knows how to clear his iPad browsing history.
I just don’t think there’s much hope. The dreams of liberals have led to a nightmare world. No responsibility accompanied by immediate gratification, all mental anguish tranquilized, all physical pain anesthetized. The liberal ethos of separating congenital morons from the consequences of their bad choices has finally been realized. We’re a fat, complacent nation, more and more cetaceous in appearance, with flippers rather than limbs, millions of Jabba the Hutts satiating every whim that comes along. Hence, Obama, a man of the times for the times. He’s the one man distillation of the American people. God, help us!
..You don’t think kids know how to surf privately and/or clear their history? My 5-year old knows how to clear his iPad browsing history.<<
Just dang.
I’m always on the internet and I have never seen porn. I guess I don’t look for it?
bump
It takes a "geek" to know what a Kindle is?
As a parent, we (wife and I) know it is tough to raise kids since we (the USA) don’t have a moral compass. Our boys go online to FR, but they know that we let them go to liberal sites, too. We want them to be open minded, too.
Tablets are small computers, that has a screen area between 7to 12 inches. If youhave a smartphone... it is a small tablet. The Samsung Galaxie phone is almost a tablet...a table doesn’t have a phone in them...
Thank you. I don’t have a “tablet”. Stuff is just too complicated for me. Nor a “kindle”, I prefer old fashion books.
“It takes a “geek” to know what a Kindle is? “
I prefer the abacus.
The government demanding gay marriage is wrong, but the government demanding chastity is ok. There are places with governments like that, but they’re not too popular with many of the posters here, they tend to be full of those of the “swarthy” persuasion.
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