Posted on 10/10/2014 6:01:33 PM PDT by NKP_Vet
You might be an EXTREME redneck if...
1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2 The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3 You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4 You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5 You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6 Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8 Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9 Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work.
After a while the 1st good ol' boy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd good ol' boy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"
NOW Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY YA HEAH!
You might be a redneck if you know what a plott hound is
Darn it, had ta look dat one up.
I thought eastern tn was loaded with them
I don’t get it. Is this some sort of documentary?
May be, but I don't know Jack about Coon Dawgs
No, that's if their brother in law is also a goat.
(You can figure out the rest..)
Save
Djeet?
Djoo?
Yaontu?
Aaaaaaiiit.
Translation:
Did you eat?
Did you?
Do you want to?
Alright.
LOL, Yep, I should have been able to figure that one out on my own.
You mean the North Carolina state dog?
http://visitncsmokies.com/2014/06/history-plott-hound-official-nc-state-dog/
Yup, it’s all fun and games-’til the banjo music starts...
Na-aah. A real redneck wouldn't bother to fill the holes.
***17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.***
My sweet husband laughed a big hardy laugh when I read that one to him.
Got lots here in Northern Wisconsin. I myself prefer the Walker.
That’s only necessary if you want to keep the cesspool clear of large debris.
...and I don drunk it obsama self.
...and have to cut notches in the handle for gophers killed with it.
Spouse came into the kitchen....
..."look what I caught"
....holds up 2 wild turkeys by their feet.
If your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
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