Posted on 09/24/2014 9:48:08 AM PDT by Kartographer
Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback wants his state to be ready when zombies arrive.
And to make sure Kansas takes the zombie apocalypse seriously, Brownback plans to officially declare October "Zombie Preparedness Month" during a ceremonial event Friday at the Kansas Statehouse.
Zombie Preparedness Month, however, is not actually about planning a defense for viral reincarnate flesh eaters. Instead, Brownback's administration wants to capitalize on pop culture's zombie obsession to raise awareness about disaster planning and response.
(Excerpt) Read more at nationaljournal.com ...
Hey, the “zombies” are here. They are called islamoids. Best be prepared.
Zombieland Rules....
1.Cardio
2.The Double Tap
3.Beware of Bathrooms
4.Wear Seat Belts
5.No Attachments
6.The “Skillet”
7.Travel Light
8.Get a Kick Ass Partner
9.With your Bare Hands
10.Don’t Swing Low
11.Use Your Foot
12.Bounty Paper Towels
13.Shake it Off
14.Always carry a change of underwear
15.Bowling Ball
16.Opportunity Knocks
17.Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
18.Limber Up
19.Break it Up
20.It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
21.Avoid Strip Clubs
22.When in doubt Know your way out
23.Zipplock
24.Use your thumbs
25.Shoot First
26.A little sun screen never hurt anybody
27.Incoming!
28.Double-Knot your Shoes
29.The Buddy System
30.Pack your stain stick
31.Check the back seat
32.Enjoy the little things
I wanna know why the government is prepping us for disasters of late.
What do they know?
They really should come out with it and inform us about the possibilities on the horizon, so we actually understand what the threat is.
33. Don’t shoot Bil Murray even if he does look like a zombie.
34. Always remember zombies are Democrats.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fv5I2rmtuU
Thanks!
Maybe it’s just my imagination, but I swear I saw a bunch of zombies in Ferguson, MO a couple of weeks ago(?)
They’re still there ...
Totally worthless article only written for the headline and to make Brownback look silly with mid terms approaching.
The Zombie preparedness is actually run by the feds.
But Nat Journal is dishonest.
Why Is Kansas Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse?
Because you’d be called a racist if you say what you’re actually preparing for.
We are on a well too, in an area that has lots of electrical outages. Some are short, but some are of longer duration, so we learned that lesson about 50 years ago. Now it’s not a big deal usually.
While I keep at least 25 gallons of bottled water on hand for drinking and cooking, the first thing we do is to drain the pipes of water into several large containers before someone forgets and flushes the toilet.
That is sufficient for the shorter term outages of around 36 hours or less without having to use the bottled stuff.
If you have a water heater, you should also have about 50 gallons of water to use in an emergency. Heat it on a gas stove or camping stove or even a wood fire. When it’s the temp you want, put it into a watering can with a sprinkler head (I use mine to water the garden normally) and use that for a nice warm shower.
We have 4 toilets. Each one will flush only once with the water in the tank already. So we are judicious about when a particular toilet gets flushed.
we have water in rain barrels, or the swimming pool that we bought on sale at the end of last summer to use to water the garden. A five gallon bucket can be used to haul that in and used to flush the toilet.
It’s a good thing to be able to adjust to lack of modern conveniences when you need to.
What do they know????? Doubt if they are sure.
People on Kart’s ping list, when you put them all together, probably know more than the G-Men about risks and how to prep for them.
Because you’d be called a racist if you say what you’re actually preparing for.
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LOL. That’s my pick for the best answer so far.
35. Only thing worse than Zombie Democrats are Zombie Democrat In-Laws who live nearby.
Great tips, thanks.
You are welcome. Always glad to help a fellow FReeper.
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