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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 07/25/2014 5:52:33 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Culinarians Day

When : July 25th

Culinarians Day is a special day for anyone who cooks. That means just about everyone of us get to celebrate this day. You don't have to be a chef, or a graduate of a culinary institute to celebrate this delicious day. You simply have to cook, and to enjoy the results.

There's national concern over growing obesity in America. Recognizing this fact, one would think that this is a huge holiday. However, we found this to be one of the least known holidays in the country..... up to now. Not anymore! We have documented it so all can enjoy Culinarians Day this year, and in future years.

Now get into your kitchen and celebrate Culinarians Day. Cook up a storm. BTW: What time should I arrive to eat!?


Top Ten Rejected Cookbook Titles:

10. Newman's Stone: Cooking for Older Gall Bladders
  9. Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches for Dummies
  8. Bob Vila's Sawdust Cuisine
  7. Granny Clampett's "Yer Throwin' Away the Best Parts!" Entrees
  6. Mud, Sticks, and Leaves: Cooking with a Four Year Old
  5. Cooking with Condiments - An Apartment Dweller's Guide to Making
      Something Out of Nothing
  4. 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog
  3. Everything's Yogurt...Eventually!
  2. Lions and Tigers and Beets, Oh My!
...and the Number 1 Rejected Cookbook Title:
  1. Getting Even: Hillary's High-Fat Cookbook


Two bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. .

'I got a cook book once', said the first, 'but I could never do anything with it.'

'Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?' asked the second.

'You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and...'



The Top 10 Pickup Lines Used By Chefs:

10. "Your eyes are like limpid pools of chicken stock."
  9. "I know we've just met, but will you marinade me?"
  8. "Cumin here often?"
  7. "How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled, or fertilized?"
  6. "Care to come back to my place and kick it up a notch?"
  5. "Hey, weren't you in my 'Introduction to Melons' class?"
  4. "We've now simmered for the recommended 25 minutes - time to come to a full boil!"
  3. "You're twice as sweet as a creme brulee - and less drippy."
  2. "Get the buttah."
...and the Number 1 Pickup Line used by Chefs:
  1. "Uh, yeah ... I invented Spaghetti-O's





SIGNS FOUND IN KITCHENS

Kitchen closed - - this chick has had it!

I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat too!

So this isn't Home Sweet Home...Adjust!

Ring Bell for Maid Service...If no answer do it yourself!

I clean house every other day...Today is the other day!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

COOK CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking...lower your standards.

Apology...
Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this...Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

 Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.

Dull women have immaculate houses.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

Housework done properly can kill you.

If you can't have your cake, AND eat it... Then next time make more cakes


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: cooking; culinary; ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen

41 posted on 07/25/2014 8:08:20 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Liberty Valance

42 posted on 07/25/2014 8:10:05 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: ErnBatavia

43 posted on 07/25/2014 8:11:06 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: martin_fierro
"Patriotic" Burqa

44 posted on 07/25/2014 8:14:04 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Baynative

45 posted on 07/25/2014 8:17:11 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen
You Are an Innovative Cook

For you, cooking is rarely about doing things from the book. You like to put your own twist on every recipe. You know a lot about cooking techniques and flavors. You have a good instinct for what will work... and how to rescue a failure.

Of all the types, you are the most likely to write your own recipes, cooking blog, or even cookbook one day. You're the type least likely to follow any recipe or cooking instruction exactly. Your intuition usually knows better.

46 posted on 07/25/2014 8:17:31 AM PDT by verga (Conservative, leaning libertarian)
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To: Lucky9teen
The chef is here. Good eats for everyone.

'La bonne cuisine est la base du véritable bonheur.' - Auguste Escoffier
(Good food is the foundation of genuine happiness.)

LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

47 posted on 07/25/2014 8:26:35 AM PDT by LonePalm (Commander and Chef)
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To: Lucky9teen; All
 photo RedNeckLovePoem.jpg

48 posted on 07/25/2014 8:43:20 AM PDT by musicman (Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
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To: Lucky9teen
You Are a Competitive Cook
You are fiercely proud of your cooking skills, and you love to show off your creations to everyone you know.
You are constantly working hard at being a better cook. When it comes to the kitchen, there's very little you can't do.

Of all the types, you are the most likely to feel like you can cook a restaurant meal better at home. And you usually can.
You're also the type least likely to rely on much prepackaged food. You make it better yourself, from scratch.
What's Your Cooking Personality?
Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes!

49 posted on 07/25/2014 8:55:03 AM PDT by mylife
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To: Lucky9teen
 photo 10511080_732113783501530_1961304195023869067_n_zpsdfa4be95.jpg

 photo 10556529_680968351977926_2284750637575148528_n_zps91165432.jpg

 photo 10380895_680017812072980_5991595866973126847_n_zps6fb7ba08.jpg

50 posted on 07/25/2014 9:20:35 AM PDT by dragonblustar ( Psalm 103, Psalm 37:7, Ephesians 6:12)
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To: BenLurkin

51 posted on 07/25/2014 9:26:59 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Liberty Valance

That’s too funny.


52 posted on 07/25/2014 10:03:56 AM PDT by TADSLOS (The Event Horizon has come and gone. Buckle up and hang on.)
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To: Tax-chick; libertarian27

PING TO A FUN FRIDAY THREAD - Today’s topic is about “cooking”, if you want to hit your ping lists for some fun.


53 posted on 07/25/2014 10:05:45 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: TADSLOS

54 posted on 07/25/2014 10:25:21 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: dragonblustar

55 posted on 07/25/2014 10:27:32 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

Sigh...lol, I guess. Wow.


56 posted on 07/25/2014 10:29:42 AM PDT by TADSLOS (The Event Horizon has come and gone. Buckle up and hang on.)
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To: BenLurkin
Would you tell him, or just watch what happens?


57 posted on 07/25/2014 10:32:21 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

lol


58 posted on 07/25/2014 10:33:40 AM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: republicanbred

ROFL! :)


59 posted on 07/25/2014 10:39:49 AM PDT by MarineBrat (Better dead than red!)
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To: MarineBrat

I was just asked by the, obviously English is not his first language, rep on the phone if I minded waiting for two or three minutes while he called his supervisor.


60 posted on 07/25/2014 10:47:05 AM PDT by Ingtar (The NSA - "We're the only part of government who actually listens to the people.")
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