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Why should we accept the hell of other people’s kids?
Daily Telegraph (UK) ^ | 08 May 2014 | Amanda Craig

Posted on 05/08/2014 5:48:49 AM PDT by relictele

Is there anyone on the planet who wouldn’t pay to avoid travelling with other people’s children? A survey has found that almost 70 per cent of travellers think planes should have child-free zones. Half of those would pay up to £63 extra to fly without children, especially on long-haul flights. I can see what they mean. Flying back from Italy recently, I had my back so thoroughly bruised by a small, restless boy that if King Herod were standing in the European elections, I’d almost be tempted. Under normal circumstances, I like children – an eccentricity which has led to my work as a children’s book reviewer. And naturally, I am devoted to my own. But other people’s children are, by and large, hell. The noise, tedium and energy of a child is something we accept only when in the grip of parental passion, professional vocation or martyrdom. Yet such is the modern mania for tolerating kids that we are afraid to utter a word of complaint, even when they come up and kick you in the shins for their own entertainment. Why do we accept it?

(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: behavior; children; manners; society
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Like most British op-eds, this one has tongue-in-cheek aspect. The author has a daughter and freely admits that the child put others through hell at times.

It's obviously a polarizing issue; those who are parents themselves usually offer a tepid, vague defense of other parents, suggesting that kids will be kids. But most would also admit that there are extremes.

A permissive culture is a permissive culture; parents who describe themselves as their children's 'best friend' (even if their children do not reciprocate) are obviously pursuing a dubious, even improper, goal, since child-rearing can and must require discipline and the inevitable clashes and resentments, however temporary, resulting from same.

The reality is that any child-friendly establishment or conveyance - or even one that accommodates children however grudgingly - is assumed by too many parents to be a bouncy castle, a playground, a Disney-themed birthday party. We can have a separate debate about smoking bans in bars and restaurants but The Law of Unintended Consequences has won out again: adults continue to patronize their now-smoke-free neighborhood tavern (read: licensed drinking establishment) after they have kids. A lazy daytime pint on a weekend now features a chorus of high-pitched voices as the Chuck E. Cheese brigade claim a previously adult-themed business as their own.

There is an especially troublesome subspecies of the Permissive Parent i.e. the Instigator. This is the oblivious parent who, often out of boredom, will stir his/her own children up via conversation, activities, etc. In the case of babies and toddlers the parent will even carry on a 'two-way' conversation with the child - by voicing the infant/toddler's lines: 'I got my doll and my book, Mommy!' And, as usual, the parent believes that the mere presence of their child is sufficient reason to share such a conversation with the passengers or diners around them.

I suppose it's just another branch of the Tree of Narcissism. Still, there is nothing quite as depressing as settling into an airline seat, especially for a long-haul flight, and hearing those first fitful cries, knowing that the parents will fail utterly to cope with the inevitable.

1 posted on 05/08/2014 5:48:49 AM PDT by relictele
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To: relictele

we endure other people’s kids because other people endured us when we were kids.


2 posted on 05/08/2014 5:51:40 AM PDT by camle (keep an open mind and someone will fill it full of something for you)
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To: relictele

Because someone once accepted the hell we generated when we were kids?


3 posted on 05/08/2014 5:52:27 AM PDT by Steely Tom (How do you feel about robbing Peter's robot?)
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To: relictele

Yeah, and make sure you stay off my lawn!


4 posted on 05/08/2014 5:57:06 AM PDT by glorgau
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To: relictele
Is there anyone on the planet who wouldn’t pay to avoid travelling with other people’s children? A survey has found that almost 70 per cent of travellers think planes should have child-free zones.

a few years back I took a 15 hour,overnight,flight (in coach) on which half the passengers in coach were between the ages of 6 days and 6 months.To this day my worst nightmares feature the screeching that I heard for that entire flight.

5 posted on 05/08/2014 5:57:34 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Stalin Blamed The Kulaks,Obama Blames The Tea Party)
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To: relictele

Yet such is the modern mania for tolerating kids that we are afraid to utter a word of complaint, even when they come up and kick you in the shins for their own entertainment. Why do we accept it?


For the parents if they do try to correct the child’s behavior which in my day involved a spanking in public and then an apology to whomever I had offended. Today such discipline will inevitably bring the police and Child protective Services down on your head and make your life a living hell.

So I say in all candor... We brought it down on our own heads as a society.

As a side note here... There was a condom commercial where a child was acting as a total spoiled brat in public and totally embarrassing his father who was afraid of disciplining him. It turned out to be a condom commercial that insinuated that if the father had been using a condom the kid wouldn’t have been around to embarrass him in the first place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nojWJ6-XmeQ


6 posted on 05/08/2014 6:00:26 AM PDT by The Working Man
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To: relictele

I turned around and yelled at a kid cause his own parents wouldn’t discipline the little bastard.
Boy did I get looks getting off the plane to which I replied the next time I will shove him in the overhead.


7 posted on 05/08/2014 6:04:15 AM PDT by longfellow (Bill Maher, the 21st hijacker.)
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To: relictele
It's only been relatively recently that children were brought to "adult" places like restaurants, shows, and the like. I was around 16 years old before my parents took me to a real sit-down restaurant for the first time. Before then, it was considered wasted money and not appropriate to take children to a sit-down restaurant. These days, you have so many kids in restaurants that most of them have multiple high-chairs - MULTIPLE high chairs!

To be honest, it really is disconcerting to go to a restaurant where you are paying good money only to be seated next to a table with a screaming out-of-control child. I would be mortified if it was my child causing so much discomfort for others. I really can't understand why people would do this. That's what they have Chuck E. Cheeses and McDonalds for.

8 posted on 05/08/2014 6:04:44 AM PDT by SamAdams76
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To: Gay State Conservative

“I’m Jeffrey...I’m four years old.”


9 posted on 05/08/2014 6:06:12 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: relictele

My wife and I raised six children before the world went completely PC and stupid....

The crap parents let their children get away with today is doing them a terrible disservice....and they will reap the whirlwind....

Many a time I have while in a public setting politely and nicely asked parents to control their children or take them home....

Some of the looks I get...


10 posted on 05/08/2014 6:09:05 AM PDT by Popman ("Resistance to Tyrants is Obedience to God" - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: relictele

Kids are great. It’s the lazy, apathetic and inconsiderate parents that are the problem. A lot (dare I say most) parents just want to free range their children and expect everyone else to adjust their lives and environments to the standard of Nerf World, where all of the sharp edges have been rounded off and padded. Many of them see government school as structured day care that is subsidized by their neighbors, where the primary concerns are games and clubs. If some actual learning happens, that’s just a bonus. Deep down, if it wasn’t for school, games and clubs they might have to actually have to spend some time with the little monsters, and we can’t have that!


11 posted on 05/08/2014 6:11:36 AM PDT by Orangedog (An optimist is someone who tells you to 'cheer up' when things are going his way)
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To: Popman

It’s not so much the PC and stupid,

it’s the Satanic.

This “hatin’ on” kids is just another Satanic anti-family undercurrent being generated in our society by his minions on the left.


12 posted on 05/08/2014 6:11:55 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: glorgau

13 posted on 05/08/2014 6:13:03 AM PDT by Night Hides Not (For every Ted Cruz we send to DC, I can endure 2-3 "unviable" candidates that beat incumbents.)
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To: Popman

Oh, and I’m sure you’ve noticed, that the larger the family, the better behaved they are.

(It’s out of necessity.)


14 posted on 05/08/2014 6:13:11 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: relictele
Next year I hope to bring my then 20 month old daughter to the US from Thailand. I expect to piss off some travelers and have the 3 of us in Business Class (getting my daughter her own seat).

I pray I am able to stabilize her ear pressure to keep her from crying.

However, I really don't see another viable travel option other than air.

15 posted on 05/08/2014 6:17:13 AM PDT by where's_the_Outrage? (Held my nose to vote.)
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To: SamAdams76
Agree 100% with you.

We found a great place last month, it's a winery about 20 miles south of Fort Worth. My grandson never was a problem, as there was plenty of space for him to run around, and a nature trail that captured his fancy.

We liked it so much, we joined the wine club (their Viognier is fantastic), opting to pick up our bimonthly selection rather than have it delivered.

Looking back on it, we didn't eat out very often when I was a kid. It was a special treat, and we were expected to be on our best behavior.

16 posted on 05/08/2014 6:19:36 AM PDT by Night Hides Not (For every Ted Cruz we send to DC, I can endure 2-3 "unviable" candidates that beat incumbents.)
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To: relictele
I can see both sides of this. My kids had their moments - but they were disciplined for them, they were few and far between, and I or my wife always took action to end any episode. For example, I physically picked them up and left restaurants when they threw a fit. Only one time with each. Going hungry and sitting in a car with dad while mom and brother ate drives the message home. Losing privileges for days or even weeks at a time helps too. I remember "Slam your bedroom door one more time and I'll take it off the hinges for a week..." He didn't think I'd follow through. Lost privacy for a few days set him straight on that one.

In public, when I see/hear a child throwing a fit I admit my first reaction is usually to smile - thankful I'm past that stage with my kids (youngest is now a legal adult, when did that happen?) and that I no-longer have to deal with that. However, if you as a parent let your kid(s) behavior continue that sympathy rapidly turns into annoyance and anger. Who is the parent here, who is in charge? "Let it run it's course." is not a valid strategy when your offspring is ruining dozens of other people's meals, movie, flight, etc.

On the other hand, I do not blame people who do not want to be around other peoples' kids either. No children flights, restaurants, movies... Sounds like a good idea. I don't blame someone for not wanting to risk running into brats and bad parents and having an evening ruined. Several months ago Mrs. TS and I celebrated a milestone anniversary with a weekend away. The place we stayed had a "family friendly" pool on one side of the complex and an "adults only" pool and bar on the other. It was nice being at the adults only side. There was no yelling, screaming, splashing. We carried on normal level conversations with several other couples while being served food and drink at poolside. No worries about kids spilling or throwing food/drink in the pool. I could get used to that.

17 posted on 05/08/2014 6:22:38 AM PDT by ThunderSleeps (Stop obarma now! Stop the hussein - insane agenda!)
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To: relictele

Bad sign for a society when they start hating their children.


18 posted on 05/08/2014 6:22:59 AM PDT by DManA
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To: Gay State Conservative

6 days old on a 15 hour overnight flight? Who would do such a thing?


19 posted on 05/08/2014 6:24:07 AM PDT by FamiliarFace
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To: relictele

This issue shows what has gone wrong with society. Why is this a “problem”? Is it because someone can’t stand the sight of a child? No. Its because parents don’t control their children. If a child is reasonably well behaved, there should be no issue. Instead of parents taking responsibility for thier kids and others being willing to put up with a reasonable amount of fidgeting by kids on a plane, we have to come up with some bureacratic solution like “kid free zones.”


20 posted on 05/08/2014 6:24:22 AM PDT by Opinionated Blowhard ("When the people find they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.")
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