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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 05/02/2014 5:35:07 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Welcome to the Silliness Thread!

Just join right in, post your funny pictures, jokes, comments and random humor and it will make every ones day better.

THIS JUST IN...

A public school teacher was arrested today at Tampa International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-Gebra is a problem for us", the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns' but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.'"

When asked to comment on the arrest, 0bama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

A Lesson Learned

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up.

She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, Democratic Party members, were standing there so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed with pride! "Wow...what a worthy goal!" I said. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!" I told her.

"What do you mean?" she replied.

So I told her, "You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Rebublican Party." Her parents aren't speaking to me anymore.


So....now Apple supports Windows? Cool

Oil Check

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer.

Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low.

The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in:

Our dipsticks are all located in Washington.

Any Questions?

NO?

Didn't think so.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; ofst; racism; silliness
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To: Hoodat

I probably would have thought “stainless steel firearm,” since guns are tools.

:^)


81 posted on 05/02/2014 9:43:33 AM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear


The Good, The Bad and the Beer
82 posted on 05/02/2014 9:50:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Disambiguator

83 posted on 05/02/2014 9:55:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

The Petrified Beer
The Beer Robbers
Gone with the Beer


84 posted on 05/02/2014 9:56:18 AM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: Lucky9teen

85 posted on 05/02/2014 9:58:30 AM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: Lucky9teen
I kind of wish they had put his hand a little higher...

 photo applications.jpg

86 posted on 05/02/2014 9:58:55 AM PDT by Clay Moore ("To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize." ~Voltaire)
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To: Clay Moore
Did someone say beer?


87 posted on 05/02/2014 10:00:24 AM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Blue drill. Go figure. But then, I was always strange.


88 posted on 05/02/2014 10:00:51 AM PDT by Bookwoman ("...and I am unanimous in this...")
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To: Lucky9teen
 photo situationroomlego.jpg
89 posted on 05/02/2014 10:04:03 AM PDT by Clay Moore ("To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize." ~Voltaire)
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To: Lucky9teen
The Good, The Bad and the Beer

Beer Wars

Beer Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Soylent Beer

Cool Beer Luke

Beer Cogburn

Blazing Beers

The Wizard of Beer

Beer! The Movie

Last Beer Standing

Charlie and the Beer Factory

Red Beer

The Dirty Beer

Beer 13

Terminator 2, Beer Day

Lethal Beer

Beer on a Hot Tin Roof

Cold Beer

The Beer Hunter

Beers of Fury

The Beer Sanction

Catch Beer if You Can

Planes, Trains and Beers

The Bad News Beers

90 posted on 05/02/2014 10:15:28 AM PDT by IYAS9YAS (Has anyone seen my tagline? It was here yesterday. I seem to have misplaced it.)
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To: Lucky9teen


91 posted on 05/02/2014 10:34:29 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (I will raise $2M for Cruz and/or Palin's next run, what will you do?)
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To: Lucky9teen

Cape Beer

Desperately Seeking Beer

Bad News Beers


92 posted on 05/02/2014 10:37:35 AM PDT by glock rocks (If you like your health plan, you're a racist !)
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To: glock rocks

The Rocky Horror Beer Show


93 posted on 05/02/2014 10:39:50 AM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: Lucky9teen

The taking of beer, 123.


94 posted on 05/02/2014 10:45:23 AM PDT by SkiKnee
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To: Lucky9teen
Episode IV - A New Beer
Episode V - The Beer Strikes Back
Episode VI - Return of the Beer
Episode I - The Beer Menace
Episode II - Attack of the Beers
Episode III - Revenge of the Beers
95 posted on 05/02/2014 10:49:43 AM PDT by arfan (Think Critically... Act Decisively... Reflect Constantly...)
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To: fredhead

Willy Wonka and the beer factory. Oompa-Loompa get me a brew...I’ve got a lit-tle story for you!


96 posted on 05/02/2014 10:53:51 AM PDT by freebird5850 (The only good thing about Barry getting re-elected is now we get to see him fall from a higher place)
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To: Lucky9teen

Captain America: The Beer Soldier
Thor: The Dark Beer
Iron Beer III
Beer Avengers
Captain America: The First Beer


97 posted on 05/02/2014 10:56:33 AM PDT by Ingtar (The NSA - "We're the only part of government who actually listens to the people.")
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To: Ingtar

Planet of the Beer
Beneath the Planet of the Beer
Escape From the Planet of the Beer
Conquest of the Planet of the Beer
Battle for the Planet of the Beer


98 posted on 05/02/2014 11:00:36 AM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: fredhead

Snow White and the Seven Beers

Beauty and the Beer

The Three Little Beers


99 posted on 05/02/2014 11:03:36 AM PDT by glock rocks (If you like your health plan, you're a racist !)
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To: glock rocks

The Beer Bug (thanks to Herbie, star os some of my favorite movies)


100 posted on 05/02/2014 11:06:53 AM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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