I dont even go on FB for the reasons you do, I dont even have my wife as a friend on FB. I got on there because we were using it in the start up of a neighborhood watch, and our neighborhood group is a closed group, it is my only activity on FB or any other social site.
If they want to send pictures of the kids, they use our email addy.
I have a very limited list also. Not even all the relatives. I would rather they just sent me pics via e mail, but they used the pics to twist my arm, and wouldn’t send them.